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Jul 2017
How long will this poem be?
That, I cannot tell you
What do you think of me?
I wish I could tell you
I banked on you wanting to be with me,
But that plan abruptly and drastically fell through
I finally give up dreaming that we could be
Then you come and act like you used to
My friends say I should just focus on me
And simply be completely through with you
Truthfully, with that, I do agree;
However, my one weakness is still you

There are many highs that I have come to know
I don't just mean the Mary Jane that we used to blow
Tried amphetamines, buried my nose in snow
None compared to the feeling of being near you, though
That's why you're so hard for me to let go

Your love reminds me of the ocean; it comes in waves
You make me feen; you know I'm an addict
I know that must seem quite generic for me to say
I'm a chill gal but you make my thoughts become erratic
You've proven to be a drug, a craving here to stay
It's a feeling much like being wildly ecstatic
But the lows send my heart into such disarray
I'll nearly hyperventilate as though I'm an asthmatic
It'd be a lie if I denied wanting you today
You can call me a fan because I'm a proven fanatic
You buried my other interests; put them in graves
That touch is electric; my flesh feels like static

Without my fix, I'd say I'm genuinely jaded
When I was beside you, most things were clear
Otherwise, for things to make sense, I had to be faded
Many were concerned; my habits became severe
Frustrated because nothing made me feel nearly as elated

Even now, it seems, your clutches, I can't escape
But that may be due to the fact that I don't want to
You make me confident in my shape
Such confidence I only ever get from you
You blew smoke so thick, though you didn't vape
Even if I knew you lied, I'd accept your words as true
I felt lovely when, around me, your arms you'd drape
When hearing  your voice, there's no way I could be blue
I'd never had a substance with such enchanting traits
Once, you sang to me and away my anxiety flew
If there was no THC or money, we weren't too good to scrape
Yes, I'm hooked on many things but the strongest is certainly you

I'd be dishonest if I said I wasn't afraid
I'm scared you don't think of me and you'll forget
From your memory, I fear I may begin to fade
I have value but what if you don't think I'm an asset?
While, for me, there isn't a memory of you that I'd trade

As we were estranged, I admit I might have felt lost
And I was quite confused as to whether I was to blame
You felt cold, like the legend, the dreaded, Jack Frost
It sat in my mind enough that I doubted I was sane
I think I gave myself to you, but at what cost?
I felt left behind once you tasted minor fame
It seemed ,my emotions, you wanted to purposely exhaust
Yet, I believed days without it would be far too lame
Still, to the side, I felt that I may have been tossed
Meanwhile, to your heart I, solely, wanted to lay claim
Obviously, you see losing me would be a legitimate loss
You came to me feeling that you needed to explain

Back and forth, it seems like circles we run around
Regardless, my addiction to you has yet to expire
You're the loveliest unwritten song, the most beautiful sound
Darling, you burn brighter than flames of Hell's fire
*Unfortunately, I know, in you, love for me may never be found..
I know this one is a bit lengthy but I just kinda felt it...
Xyns
Written by
Xyns  Where Is My Mind?
(Where Is My Mind?)   
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