Haunting Memories
You are always there, and always will be.
Denial strikes and you disappear,
Fear and loneliness take over.
Feeling out of focus,
Reality sets, and you are back.
You are terrifying and graphic, consuming every ounce of me.
Blocking you out is exclusively done to protect me.
You are revolting and disturbing, but vanish at the sight of denial.
Feeling nauseous, feeling nervous, feeling this dreadful pain.
Everything is wrong, you are wrong.
Alone, guilt, fear... Reality reemerges.
Acceptance of your existence ultimately happens.
Incredibly powerful you are.
I cannot break free of you, even if I try.
From a distance, still delivering shock waves up my spine.
Denial no more with progress around the corner.
You all decide to join forces against me.
You form a team, and hit me all at once.
You are abusing and beating me down.
Overwhelmed and out of control.  
Exhaustion sets in.
Depleting into numbness to survive.
Chaos!
Grounding myself, clearing  my mind.
Control within reach.
You no longer define me, consume me, control me.
Dealing with each one of you will no longer happen on your terms and timeline.
Pace has been adjusted to slow,
Acknowledgment and understanding become my armor against you.
True healing is happening,
finally...
I am starting to defeat you.
Haunting memories are all that you are.
You, are WEAK.
Still frightening, but no longer dominating me.
I am stronger than you, and always will be.

© Jl 2015