It is so easy to pick on yourself
but so hard to pick yourself up
I realised this not long ago after long times of endless hammering smashes on my bare soul
even my body so scarred that maybe I looked more like a chopping board after all
I never let myself have chances to let the parts grow together and see that flowers
do indeed bloom from my depths within
Instead I continued to **** the monsters and demons I thought I consisted of
but in reality I was just harming myself; an awful sin
I always believed that destroying myself was what was needed to be done
and I deserved this pain of never being able to stand on my two feet
I had come to believe what I was told by many, that my two feet do not have the strength they need
So I never walked and never ran
I always stood still or crawled along while letting them get weaker ever since I began
I don't understand and realise when I began to notice that my ways were terribly wrong
I never understood or realised that I had wasted years that forever now will be gone
But I do understand and realise that I finally have been blessed to see
That I do not exist to survive, but simply to live and be me