Aug 2015
**** me,
or,
watch my paranoid body,
flip the **** out,
watch my insides eat at each other,
as they try to snack on the out,
Picture my arms really bleeding out,
filling the room,
both,
me and you,
drown,
in my shame and fear,
I wish for my life to end,
you wanting my charade to come full circle and stop,
and I'll stop.
give you a twitch,
death stare,
till I collapse into myself,
and cry,
and cry,
as my tears flow to the bottom,
because everyone knows,
bloods thicker than water,
and I hate my one reason to live,
you,
for not helping me die,
for not killing me,
and I scream at you,
like you know what to do,
when I don't either,
when all I did,
was try to live,
and nothing good,
has came from it,
or,
watch my paranoid body,
flip the **** out,
watch my insides eat at each other,
as they try to snack on the out,
Picture my arms really bleeding out,
filling the room,
both,
me and you,
drown,
in my shame and fear,
I wish for my life to end,
you wanting my charade to come full circle and stop,
and I'll stop.
give you a twitch,
death stare,
till I collapse into myself,
and cry,
and cry,
as my tears flow to the bottom,
because everyone knows,
bloods thicker than water,
and I hate my one reason to live,
you,
for not helping me die,
for not killing me,
and I scream at you,
like you know what to do,
when I don't either,
when all I did,
was try to live,
and nothing good,
has came from it,
this is over a year old, its about one of my friends, and how he described me to me *in text* and it made me cry that he felt that way, about me, then he had to start taking med due to a medication shortly after and they made him very unhappy and other things, I almost lost him and I wrote this in that class while getting all his messages, thinking I was going to lose him when he got home if I didn't do something, so I did and everything was fine. I cant believe I forgot I wrote this.
