As I hold my hand for you to hold,

You hold the hands of another.

As I lend you my ears,

You lean on another.

As I call out your name,

You respond;

















To the pleas of another.

*Am I that —

I met a ballerina named, Elise
Her favorite song's Fur Elise
The first time I saw her's leaping
I was amused; everyone started clapping

Oh, my heart flutter in joy
I saw her smile from the stage
Her smile precisely fits her face
Her performance was talked in Illinois.

I was boy and all insecure
I couldn't tell her how much she made me sure
Of how living could be this good
Even they say I'm your fool
My eyes only long for you
Heart's all yours, and that's true

Too bad I could show you,
All the success I have made
You rested early that the world thought,
I was left aching for your love
All my life I only drew you,
listen to your favorite songs,
And I rested well beside you.

I cannot contain the grief the grief much longer,
I ache and yet nobody cares.
**** me, please.
I write cyclically,
And I am aware of my flaws,
Yet I ache to let them know;
To rescue me.
The one I want to rescue me most is the most distant; it is futile.
Oddly logical; my sadness.
I hope to see you again someday.
Goodbye.

I don't know if I'm happy.
But I know I'm depressed.
Even if I smile,
I'd end the day wishing I was dead.
Everyone who talks is temporary.
The grief I feel is evergreen.
I may move, but I stagnate.

I'll stay here
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here
Even if they don't want it.

I'm settling down,
You keep running in circles.
I'm tired now
But you still keep leaving me;
I won't stay for long
I'll just rot away.
I'm settling down,
But you keep leaving me.

I'll stay here,
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here,
Even If they don't want me;
I'll stay here,
Even if nothing's left;
I'll be here,
Then cry, and bleed, and die.

I'll stay here,
Even if you're things are all what's left;
I'll be here,
*Then bleed, and bleed, and die.

06/06/17

I was forced to sit and watch;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I was forced to sit and watch
As those I knew turn anew;
Seemingly void of the past that held them back;
Seemingly void of me.
Maybe it's an omen;
That people are better without me;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I burn.
In jealousy.
In regret.
**In sadness.

In the darkness of the night
I see her body rise.
My ears pick up a faint noise
as I hear the townfolks cries.

I steal the blade of my sword
and don my trusty cloak.
Hoping that the former
will not find any blood to soak.

But all through the night,
I hear the banshee's cries.
But she'll be the only one screaming
for she's my sword's bride.

Whenever he plants a kiss on me
I find myself not knowing exactly
Whose wish is being granted at the moment

I was fifteen when I learned about tricks in life
I was with someone older and they, say it's fine
Adventurous and tested all dangers,
I saw myself pushing her against the corner

At past eleven we met downstairs,
I asked her the dangers but frowned and said, "I'm not like those liars."
My hand was on your lower back
I lifted her shirt while exploring her mouth, "****."
A whisper comes out from her lips,
"You're too naughty for your age." Placing my hands on her hips

The locking of our lips lasted longer than I expected,
She became aggressive; I felt totally connected
She unbuckled my trousers and began teasing
I was innocent and scared with whatever pleasing
It was fast, I totally forgot what we're doing,
But I felt something came, and she continued swallowing
At my young age, thought it wasn't known like those videos
I never felt so horrified with the picture, I felt like and idiot.

And we did more than I imagined,
but as soon as I again hovered on top of her
She pushed me down, "I'm leaving." It was a blur.
I hear her phone rang twice,
but on the third time, she took the call
I suddenly got sober from a fool's paradise
She picked her things up mumbling, "I'm heading home Paul.