Trying to get
over someone
you never had?

Yeah,
that's the worst
kind of struggle.

B.K.

With the rain and the cold
I let you go
Out of my mind and my soul
Knowing, us not being where I want
But knowing
Our hearts will become
The best version of ourselves
When we reached the place
We belong

My dear
You made me blind
Am I crazy to still believe
You are one of a kind?
I lost the sight
Can't express the feelings I feel
But maybe this
Will be a good start for relieve
I let you go
Out of my mind and my soul
Before I drown
In the deep water of love and desire

I love you in the strangest ways,
I love you with my tears so that every time I cry they'll be thick with affection for you,every drop bigger than the last.
I love you with my fears because I can never overcome them.
I love you with my weaknesses for they are always echoing in my head.
I love you with my grief,as weird as it sounds my grief shapes me.
I love you with my sorrows for they are plenty.
I love you with the darkest part of me for it forever haunts me.
I love you with my pain,my deepest agony,because pain is the largest component of my being and so is your love.

I wake up every morning
It always starts the same
Trying to remember yesteday
It's just part of the game

Lord, I can't go on not remembering last night
I can't keep livin' hard I must confess
Lord, I 'm here to say I'm not drinking anymore
But, then again, I ain't drinking any less

I'm not drinking anymore
I'm not drinking any less
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor
My life is one hot mess

A room of empty bottles
Ashtrays full up to the brink
I look at them and all I feel
Is that I need another drink

This can't go on forever
I can't deal with all the stress
I'm not drinking anymore
But, I ain't drinking any less

Lord, I can't go on not remembering last night
I can't keep livin' hard I must confess
Lord, I 'm here to say I'm not drinking anymore
But, then again, I ain't drinking any less

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling