mid-day showers
i'm grooming myself for another girl
as sweet as fourth of july pie
but i always preferred the fireworks
now you're a notion in my head
a hologram of scenarios that never even occurred
i haven't cried in twelve months
or wrote a poem since april
but still when i put pen to paper
the words have your taste all over them

i remember when you would beg me to read to you
in the early hours of the morning
when conversation had kept us awake
i could tell you were smiling by the sound of your exhales
although my eyes never moved from the words on the page before me.
we would make love
until you were too tired to finish a whispered 'goodnight'
i would follow you into dreams
my last and first thoughts always of happiness

this was a long time ago
before i left you, before you left me

that's the thing with love;
it changes
it begins like a fire
embers and smoke
until it's Winter
you're alone
and the smell of ash is making you remember
everything you wish you could forget

a boy waiting patiently at the train station
he lights up a cigarette
can't smell the flowers in his hand
over the smell of petrol

i don't remember what happened
when i saw you
arms stretched, bodies entwined
happy tears, nose kisses

i never did meet you at that station
but if i did
i would still be locked in your kiss

i was good at things;
like going to school and making my parents proud
you were good at things;
like kissing my neck in a drunken daze
and holding my hand behind everyones back
i think i loved you and that is why i began to hate you
i was never good at hurting people
until i was hurt by you

i like the way your eyes
have seen too many
late nights

i like the way
your lips can never
feel a kiss

i like the way
you don't give a ****
who i am or where i've been

you would swallow
an ocean if it meant
it would save me

you were so quiet
and then you were so loud
you tore through my life
like a plane through a cloud

you splashed your paint on me
like i was your own colouring book
you decided what you liked and hated
then you tore the pages up

i told you 'sometimes mistakes make perfect art'
but you didn't believe me then
you just smiled - oh god, that ******* smile
let me give my life to see it again

if I could be given a new mind
I'd never have to think of you
if I could get myself a new heart
I wouldn't even remember you

your silence
was an earthquake
a calm before the storm
what happens to the love that's left over
after two has become one?