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  Aug 2016 Pen Lux
Styles
If you were not;
exquisite would be extinct--
opulent is your beauty
your presence is grace
without you I would perish
protected by your embrace
  Aug 2016 Pen Lux
Joshua Haines
I focus on my bank account
and not feeling alone.
The man in 1080p repeats,
'Where has my America gone?'
Fifty or sixty, and billionaire rich --
I guess I'm his working class *****.

Voting on how to
delude myself best;
I am part of a
dollar bill nest,
where I get to see
but don't get to touch,
where I get to give
but don't get too much.
Pen Lux Jul 2016
love is not so far away
this morning
a kiss on the lips
and a shut door

inspiration blooms in the shade
while the sun burns down
on the back of his neck
as he works
peeling away old memories
past hurt and pains
trust that was broken
each day
he gains
sends flames

writing
in this habitat
somewhat of a
solitude

sleeping in his bed
dreams run through my head
nightmares or sweet dreams
waking is breaking through the seems
what I've seen and what I've done
are comparable to none
again, today is different
but similar to yesterday

my mind is still running
while my heart still wants to play
my body isn't moving
for my soul is bound by passion

desire is an unworthy foe
who I believed to be a friend
not so long ago

love is not the enemy
such as I used to believe
I think to move is worth it

tending to the garden,
the flowers, and the trees

yes, time is moving forward
and it's my turn to follow suit
time is moving forward
and all I see
is me
and you
Pen Lux Jun 2016
ten years
of writing
and sharing.
of erasing fear
from what I share.

a decade later
and I am asked
to be quiet, told,
I talk too much.
figuring, if I talk
too much, too quickly,
I have learned nothing.

so I write.

this place is safe
pen on page
words on screen
no real name
truly facing shame(s).

words can hurt
but writing can change,
an outlook, an image,
a feeling, a tone.

there's something about here
me, alone, with these words,
that stops the constant curiosity
of what others may say or do,
because with these forms of words,
only beauty may resound.

no, "telephone game"
of, "who said this, she said,
he said," distorted and mangled.
re-angled! painful miscommunications
avoided so simply. LOOK HERE, look here!
if you misunderstood, read again, or interpret.
these words were written for me and about me,
inspired, perhaps, by others actions or words,
but honesty can happen in abstract ways
much like the daze that follows, when one
says and they say, so instead, I choose to
hurt no one, on purpose or by mistake
instead I will express myself within
this realm of word play!
(it has been ten years since I wrote and shared my first poem with another person, and 7 since I have been sharing here on HP. I figured since I am no good at doing push ups, I will do a 22 poems in 22 days challenge! feel free to join and tag your poem 22 in 22)
Pen Lux May 2016
thinking lately
"baby, bate me"
indigestion
if you grate me
no longer in the past
forget the late me
maybe you could
date me?

drama here in the mountains
breakdowns and bus stops
kids who feel entitled
parents cash in their jeans
screaming, obscenes
strange scenes
heart on my sleeve
people here say I'm too deep
as the truth creeps like snow melting
waterfalls breaking through
and I scream just as obscene
because the truth is much more difficult
and I didn't come here for an easy ride
or to build my pride
I quicken my stride
with thoughts of home
as I face the faces who scream,
"this is our mountain and we can do what we want with it!"
I disagree over quick paces
the coarseness of burnt toast
the smell of fresh brewed coffee
and I quicken my pace
quicken so I don't have to feel the weight of their egos
so that I can try and break away from my own
I feel so alone with myself
when did I forget I was here
that I'm all I need?

I miss the ones I love as I bleed
struggling to breed my own love
to move on and to move up
forgive the past and destroy the ruts

another day counting cigarette butts
Pen Lux May 2016
harmonizing with my inner self
not much food left on the shelf
but I am full, so full, I explode
bursting with self-expression
my explosions, although,
abrasive. often catch a
curious eye from the
distance and my
explosion's lux
is almost a
beauty
such
as
the
stars.

I am far
far out
and
away
not sure how long I will stay
not sure how long before I leave
all I know is that I need to believe
in myself and the consciousness I have been granted.

intelligence is not something to be feared,
rather, revered. perhaps my mind walks too fast,
gets stuck in the past, rewinds and repeats laps.
if my heart felt any different about the things I said,
then my soul might not matter, and my mind would be dead.
so rather than cry and worry about others opinions, others
clique par-say part-tea par-tay's. I shall say, HEY, I am me
and you are you, but don't put me down because of the
mistakes you make and the wrongs you do. I might
look **** when I cry, I might look **** when I cry,
I might, but it's no excuse for the abuse that all
these people seem to choose. I said it again,
and I say it again, patience is peace, and
peace is release. A lesson I still struggle
to maintain. I might look **** when
I cry, because peace is release, if I
choose to be, if I let it be. peel
back your eyes and see, I'm
a reflection of you, you're
a reflection of me.
Pen Lux May 2016
backwards breaking
belligerent bleeding
no success
in the wanting
no independence
in the needing
counterproductive concepts
crumbling creativity
no more
knowing
no more
clinging
no more
ringing
subtle silences
scorching screams

it's not a holiday
but we're drinking
smoking *******
threatening our hearts
with ideas of "again"
of "tomorrows"

the best time to dream is
from 7:30am to 8:15am
those are the dreams
you wake up with
the dreams that feel so real
that life is more dreamlike
so fantasies stay and play
no fear left in your heart
no longer needing to be wrapped in another
the only love is created from within
not from each other's

so let the mountains surround
and the music drowned
no drinking tonight
NO drinking tonight
don't bring it or leave it
I wake up at night
chug water
heavy breathing

I miss his kiss, back, tongue, hips
so, no drinking tonight, I want to
let go, not sink in.

rising up
as I'm
growing up
****
waking up
middle of the night
still drunk
throwing up
****
no drinking tonight

shedding layers in the light
I'll glow off the snow tonight
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