The world is fast, and I am drifted
to the flow  to where it wants me to go
Where I lose myself in what it has to offer
Where I lose myself to what I have to do
But I should know better.
Amidst the chaos
surrounding myself and my thoughts
I steal the hands of time
and ponder.
I realize the world is big.
I realize the world is sad.
I am but a particle
in this world of sands.
The world gives, and I take.
There seems to be endless things to do.
Until now, I never understood.
And now I'm suspended in this make-believe world
without time,
I ask myself,
Then what?

Then what?
I always dreamed.
And I dreamed for who I wanted to become.
What I wanted to do.
But never in my life,
Have I been lost in the woods.
I dreamed of reaching the sun
But the pavement I would always follow
And lost I have finally seen
the trek of tomorrow.

And if I finally feel the burning rays
I have been once again cursed.
"Then what?", my soul questions
And I found no answer.
I was molded by the hands of the world
who gave me what I needed to do
But sometimes, I have to break free
And think what I really want to.

How important is reaching the sun?
Of course it is everything to me,
but I realize the world is big.
I realize the world is sad.
And it is not just about me.
How important is reaching the sun?
I ask myself once again,
And I found my purpose of trekking the trails
I shared the sun to the populace.

And when I did, I understood,
the world is big, as it is beautiful.
The sun I thought was mine alone,
is much more meaningful with everyone else.

Then what?

I guess I shall never be free,
of the question that follows my every lead.
But instead I think of this as a challenge,
than a curse I need to unfollow.

I returned the hands of time and seconds ticked,
too many things to do
too many goals to reach
But in the end we're still
particles in the sand.
The Then What Curse,
is a Then What Challenge
And the key to winning
is to give your goals meaning.

The world is fast as it is big,
The world is sad, and in dire need.
A meaningful goal is to share our blessings;

Then what?

It is going to be a long, long ride

Then what?

It is going to be very confusing.

Then what?






It is a mystery.

Tired of holding on to something I cannot even grasp
I decide to let it go.
Yet my heart is breaking every single step away
Just a few feet, I almost go back
But I keep my focus straight ahead
It's not easy.
Whoever fool said when you hurt, it's when you love
I want to give him a pat on the shoulder.
I tried. I loved. I hoped. I dreamed.
I wake. I'm wide awake. I'm sober.
One heavy step.
Another heavy step away.
Feels like forever.
Little by little, I keep my distance
And maybe I could look back without feeling anything.
People said time heals,
but they never said it's going to hurt you first.
It's hurting me like a fresh wound out in the cold air.
It's hurting me like a heartbeat stopping, unaware.
I'll continue on, until nothing of you remains.
But for now I have to endure the pain.
The time will come when it heals my wounds into spotless scars,
And not a faintest speck of anything.
One day, I'm going back.
Heart intact.
And any love for you, ransacked.
That day will come, I assure thee.
That day when I will finally be free.

I don’t know why
But I can’t sleep tonight
‘Cause you’re running in my soul
in my heart
in my mind
All the time

It’s on replay
The words you said tonight
The way the lights
caught into your eyes
And you smile
right at me

Take me to your arms
You’ll know how much I care
Take me to your heart
I’ll always be there
And take us to a place where you and I
without a shed of fear
be who we are

Come take my hand and hold me tight
Maybe there’s a reason why we’re here tonight
Staring at the sky full of lights
Come alive in the night
This is the moment
that I see
when I look into your eyes.

This should not happen.
I shouldn't be thinking of you.
I shouldn't be looking forward to that day
I will meet you once again.
This should not happen
I shouldn't be here lying awake
At 1:48
Rereading all your messages.
This should not happen.
I should be able to leash upon these emotions.
But they are starting to break free
Against my wishes.
This should not happen.
Haven't I learned my lesson?
Haven't I felt the repercussions
That I brought upon myself before?
This should not happen.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
I shouldn't be building castles
That one day are going to break.
This should not happen.
But I also tire of holding
Everything inside me
So should I just let things be?
This should not happen.
Not when I will be vulnerable again.
Not when I will be miserable again
Once things don't work out.

I shouldn't let this happen.
I really shouldn't.
But I can't help it.
Oh God I can't help it.

I can't help it anymore.

Hey little girl who made me cry,
How are you, are you doing fine?
Has it been fourteen years since then,
Oh how much time has it been.

Hey little girl who made me cry,
Do you still remember those blazing times?
When you pulled my hair and spilled my drink,
Until now, I still don't know why.

To the little girl who was happy when,
She found me near my breaking point,
Are you happy now, where you are?
Shall I wish you then, from a wishing star?

To the little girl who never smiled,
How are you, from all these times?
You said the world was better off without me,
I wish you'd come back now, and see me.

To the little girl who moved away,
Fourteen years, has it been?
To the little girl who has not made,
a single friend, a single dream.

To the little girl who was unloved by many,
Have you found your heart already?
I hope you did, for I think I know now,
Why you had to push me off the ground.

I thank you for all the words you said,
At least I fought and became who I am.
I thank you but please don't let,
Others suffer what you did to me.

Hey little girl who made me cry,
I think you did not know the reason why,
You have to be alone in this lonesome world,
Why you have to be a little girl.

Hey little girl who made me cry,
All these years, you're still on my mind.
Wherever you are, I wish you well.
I hope you stayed true, to what your heart felt.

To the little girl who made me cry,
I'm done with all these bitterness,
But if you were sad, you should have told me why,
And maybe, you found a friend instead.

Quarter to midnight,
we rise to the highest peak.
Clothed in nothing but moonlight,
drunk as you fill me in.
Didn't want to rush,
you just had to push it in too deep,
All you did is touch,
Savoring the feel of your heartbeat--
Sweet ecstasy.

Velvet dusk
And the city opens its thousand eyes
Busy streets and tired minds
My heart longs for your touch

And I go home
With traces of you in me.
And I sleep well
With you in my memory.

Everywhere I look, I see love.
Everyone with hands held intertwined;
with eyes shining in twinkling light;
with hearts beating as one.
Everywhere I look, I see love.
Everyone with their brightest smiles;
with their magic touch;
with their look of love.
I somewhat feel so alone.
Treading my life on my own.
Alone.
Wishing for a love I can also have.
The fourteenth is fast approaching.
And this is my nineteenth year without.
But I am not going to complain.
But what's different this year,
is that I have you in my heart.
But I think you don't feel it,
And you still don't see it.
And maybe I'm at fault,
'Cause I am afraid to tell;
I want to tell it all,
But I'm afraid I'll lose you.
This year I'm going to wish
Not for a love due to them
Not for a love because I'm alone
Not for a love I'll someday lose.
This year I'm going to wish
That for just a second you'd think of me
Just a second you'd realize,
Just a second, you'd feel.
I'm still treading that path alone,
But I will not complain;
You are the love I will yet obtain,
And for you, I'm willing to wait.

Cold February wind
Blows unto my face,
Bold dandelion skies
Whisper their goodbyes.
Busy streets alive,
As many tread on the roads.
And darling you might be far,
But to you I’m coming home.
Through the music in my ears.
Through the rhythm of my feet.
Through the replays of my memories,
And my unbridled heartbeat.

Just like the wind before it was named,
we were one.
Just like the skies--whether blue, black, or gray,
we were one.
Before time was night and day,
we were one.
And before water became seas, rivers, and lakes,
we were one.
But the colors became powers,
And these differences of ours,
Named the weak and the strong,
and the right and the wrong.
When freedom became property
And feelings became tragedy,
That's when love emerged a warrior,
And time a dictator.
Long were the days when life was like the wind
And the skies, and the day and the night.
And the seas and the rivers and lakes,
One before the reconstructions of time.
Long were the days of the free,
But those days were long gone.
And with every peek of the setting sun,
I remember the time,

When we were one.

I looked down the steep cliff I'm standing on
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, it's not.
Because I replay a scene in my head
That I would fall and break
And then I'm gone.
I looked at the guy right in front of me.
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, I'm not.
Because I want to share my heart with him
And be each other's strength.
But my heart is glass.
I looked in front of the mirror
And asked myself, "why?"
And I found an answer
to why do I
have to be this way.
In every fear that I face,
I ask, "What if?"
A future that might happen
A future that might not.
What if I fall?
What if I break?
Too many what-ifs
Too many to waste.
It is the seed of fear.
The seed of restlessness.
To be engulfed in the branches of suffocation
Because of a two-word simple question,
What if?
There is blue in the great vast sky.
There is green in the towering mountains.
Wouldn't it be stupid not to open your eyes
Because you ask yourself, "What if I go blind?"
We do not want to be hurt.
We do not want the pain.
So we hide.
Hide.
Hide in the soft, caring embrace of fear,
But we do not experience life.
For before there is a butterfly,
there is the breaking of a cocoon.
Before there is the sun,
there is the breaking of the dawn.
It hit me.
Hit me hard.
Hit me fast.
Hit me through.
There is nothing wrong to be afraid.
But to stay afraid for the rest of your life,
is like holding a sword
but hiding in the war.
We have the power to fight.
We have the power to break free.
The first step is to stop
asking "What if?"
There is a magnificent world right there in front of us.
There is beauty of every kind.
And fear keeps us contained,
to experience what God has provided.
Earth is beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
It's too wasteful to waste it,
to live it with What-ifs.

It's a fire in the cold
It's brighter than gold
It's a burning sensation turning hundredfold
It's like playing in the rain
in a blazing game
Sunset raging in the glow of the wildfire flames.
It's the thunder of the beat of the summer drum
It's a crazy conversation don't know where it's from.
It's the radiance of the bright blue white light
It's the feeling when two people love
and get it right.

You close your eyes and let the tears
Say the words you cannot say;
You breathe the air and feel the breeze
And let the wind wash them away.
You said you brought upon yourself,
the scorching pain you cannot heal;
You said he broke the heart in you,
And he never knew that still.
You said you weren't thin enough
You weren't beautiful enough
For him to like you
But it's not good enough.
You leash upon yourself
the unknown why's only he can reply;
And every waking hour held
the memory of your every time.
But don't tell that you're not enough
because he didn't love you.
He just didn't have the eyes,
to see the beauty in you.
One will come along
who'd see you for you
And when he walks to you,
you'd forget the pain the other one gave you.
But for now, just close your eyes,
And let the tears say the pain,
But don't forget to open them,
And move forward to your way.
You have to let your grasp go
And feel no regret,
Look to the beauty of tomorrow,
And leave the glow of the sunset.