For 47 years, yes 47 years
I've been writing poetry
At times I feel I'm in control
At other times I feel it's controlling me

It has taken me up the mountain
It has hung me off the ledge
If you ask me, something ain't right
Perhaps it's all in this poets head

With poetry being an emotional thing
It pushes as it pulls
I take up it's bell and let it ring
That's about all I know how to do

I slap it left as it slaps me right
Right upside the head
Smack dab in the middle of tomorrow night
Where poetry has made up my bed

Because for 47 years, yes 47 years
I've been writing poetry
At times I feel I'm in control
While at other times I feel it's controlling me

Wicked wicked wicked my mind
That feels so unkind
Unkind my thoughts
That damage my heart
Damaged my heart that burns my tongue
Burned my tongue that lashes out
More enemies than friends have made I

How trapped I feel inside
The walls and bonds of your presumption
How evil this mind that sways between hate and devotion

How terrible this burden I must bear
Cast on my shoulder
For a fault not mine
Delving deep on those wounds
Which cruel men with their lust inflicted
Broken the tender bow of my spirit
Set me off on a course of anger
Hatred buried so deep beneath
Seething waiting to explode

But what explodes is not me
It’s the anger and the wrong
That should not have been

Where were u when I was abused?
Where were u when as a doormat I was used?
What is it that now can be done?
To right a wrong
To right a spirit that stands forlorn.

Damaged beyond words am I
Damaged in my thinking
Damaged emotions course through my veins
Burning, scalding, bearing pain.

See that wound, that moment, that started it all
You can see for your eyes behold all.
Robbed of innocence
Trapped in blackmail
Jilted love just for gains

No one saw that person beneath
No one saw that  crushed soul
No one saw that  waif of a girl
Longing, hoping for true love’s gold
Running in directions for a sweet word
Madly following dust for pearls

You saw, u were there
You are here now
To you nothing is hidden
All externals are just veils
Your eyes can rend them all
Your word can heal it all

How hardened am I
Wickedness seeped in every act.
I don’t wanna be like that
I don’t wanna be hated
I don’t want nothing
I want to be free
From this madness overtaking me

Stretch out your hand and calm my soul
Hold my trembling heart in your fold
Show me how things can be right
Only the one who has made me has that sight…

You were a 'Star' even back then.
The light from your eyes brightened
my days and all we had was time.

Too young, dumb and blind, I was,
to know for certain.
But deep down, a part of me could
tell that you would one day rise to
decorate the sky.

Now, the World orbits around 'you'.  
As well it should.
I still miss the times when
we were young
and you were mine.
Strumming your tunes
and making 'em rhyme.
No back up,
no stadiums,
just that sweet voice
humming new lines
into the Summer night.

Jealousy's wicked symphony
fills my mind as your blue eyes
gaze at me from the covers at
the checkout line.
Such is the fate of young lovers
who started as friends, until one
rises high and the other descends.

Oh, well.

You've earned the World's love
just as you won mine so long ago.
I hope you miss me too,  even
though I will always miss you
just a little more.

~~~