The chance, it's there!
Left! No, right!
But too late, the decision delayed,
And straight down the middle,
Denied. Again.
When will the luck break?
Can the bad run end?
A drought, everlasting,
Dry mouth, hungry,
Starving for the one hint,
And there again!
Another chance, charging for it,
Oh the taste! Satisfied at last.

Her eyes put galaxies to shame
Her words like starlight
glistening gently in the dark
She is more beautiful than all the heavens
Brighter than even the fullest moon
That I could even think to touch her heart
Is no less than a blessing I don't deserve

She places smiles upon my lips
And warmth in my soul
From those smiles spill words
And from my soul songs pour
In my heart's heady desperation to repay
the love with which she has drowned
the very fabric of my mind

Such a sad world
The sky weeps
The earth screams
Where such a marriage
Of shackles and the blind
Seep into the air
Only whispers remain
Of days before hearts froze
Of time before the bind
In destined ruin
Forgone fates cry out
Empty voices in the dark
Insistence pours into
Virtue cracked and crumbled
Upon Agony's altar

How dare they keep the camera's eyes on her face?
That's not what 'everyone' wants to see!
What purpose does she serve but to be ogled,
Or give Him something to live for?
And what is it with films these days,
Handing out female leads?
How am I supposed to immerse myself
In a body so weak and vulnerable to attack
From people like Me?
And how dare they let her save the day,
When she's supposed to be rescued?
How can I feel important if I can't be the one
Protecting her with the muscles I earned by being
Born one way, not the other?
And why isn't she falling apart and crying?
It's so unrealistic that she'd be able to keep
her fragile emotions under control,
Shouldn't she be scared at the sight of danger?
How is He supposed to comfort her
If she doesn't need it?!

How is she supposed to believe in herself,
If every time someone tells her she's capable,
You're** there to prove her wrong?

Bite me cold
Or crush me whole
For underfoot I stamp on souls
Of those that went the wrong way.

Steal my life,
All I know is strife
And the taste of a ****** knife,
When they knew not the right words to say

Burn my mind
All you left behind
Who still couldn't find
The means to pay

Your debts will torture you
As they have me
Fair?

Centre-stage
Solo
Words of power

Prepare
Aim
Sound the rally cry:

To arms!
My friends!
This is our time

But

As the call
Tumbles
From my mouth

My platform
Is taken
My mic cuts out

I stand up
Despite it
Make myself heard

Over the pit
And distance
Travel my words

They will forget
This Day
And all the hours before my stand

But they'll remember
My quiet revolution -
They'll understand.

Where are you?
I need you now,
Fill my senses with concepts,
Engulf me in ideas,
Bless me with the words,
That often flow easily,
But today,
Less,
Freely,
What price,
Do you demand?
Simply for a word?
Or a string of thought?

Waiting, always, as I always have,
Once the suggestion floats across my mind,
Now it takes shape,
Becomes a hunger, a purpose,
To keep my heart busy,
So I replace my loneliness,
With the chance of its end,
A hollow promise to myself
That only she can fulfill,
But she will, I tell myself,
As I sit here and wait,
Wait for that clock to climb the second half of its face,
And to fall again into evening,
And into talking for hours
Along pointless tangents but still
With purpose: Another step, another moment.
Another smile, another laugh across her lips.

Free-roaming means data is off,
Eyes are up and headphones drop
Take a breath, taste the air
Take a step, no need to stare -
No shock, no bait,
No status update,
No followers to feed
No limits, no need
To restrict yourself to one-hundred-and-forty
Characters that aren't quite you,
No, for once, feel it all in one go
Not in a ten-second video,
First-hand experience is better
Than cutting down ur lettrs
Time to rediscover the world,
Through the highest definition
Four-dimensional,
Multi-sensational,
Live-stream of consciousness:
Reality.

Laying back
A breeze calms my breath
And though summer winds grace reality
This morning is autumn chill
Between the rusty leaves of age
A youthful sun softly wakes
My jet black hair in moments gleams
And closed eyes are tempted to stir
The pale of my skin unblemished by scars
Has healed and relaxed again

These steel arteries
The life force of modern day
Expand our horizons
Let us escape
Go further than needed
Or just far enough
The breath of the city
A heartbeat, a step
A journey further on
Pulsing, turning forwards
To the future we're building
With tracks and trains and transport
That keep us moving on, on, on...

There are few eyes,
Which catch mine as yours,
Call my gaze.

There are few hands,
Which lift me as yours,
From the shade.

There are few smiles,
Which warm me as yours,
Lights a blaze.

There is no heart,
I could love but yours,
Keeps me alive.

You'll be fine when...
Eternal lie...
Waiting never...
Made anyone feel...
Better...
Once you've...you'll feel different
Cruel promise...
Aiming the wrong way...
Won't get any closer...
To truth...
Just a phase*
Dismissal...
Will not help...
Denial is...
Pointless

Many hundreds of children
Forming their impression of the world
As I sit, bitter, but hopeful,
With a face that forgot how to smile
And eyes that learned to be shallow
Or shallow enough
That the truth could only be found
By one who searched for it
Their tears are ended
By simple joys I no longer know
Perhaps they will not need the fears I grew
Perhaps they will need more
But for now they do not know

Take me away from,
The branches which beg only
For the hug of rope.

If I sit here staring into space
Perhaps I'm thinking
Or playing with thoughts
Posing some character and taking
a picture on an instant camera.

Or perhaps I'm singing
Some song in my head
that means enough to steal my sight
from my eyes
for my mind.

My life changed in less than a year
Yet I fear I will not
That I will be forever nervous
Forever panic at the key moments
But so many say they were the same
And they changed
And learned to be calm
And seize the day
Rather than clench their fists around air

The longing burns in
The very fabric of skin -
Armour, yet torture.

In the heart of the evening,
Alone but for the passive hum of the fridge,
Waiting for the creeping force of fatigue
To press down upon my eyes.

He comes each night to interrupt,
To steal away my hours that march on unwavered,
And pass by without interest
In a solitary sleeping girl.

And from Him, She takes my limp body,
To sweeten the inescapable emptiness,
With promises, tales and memories
Crafted from my own

My world's corners fold over
And thread themselves through the panels
Of a brand new manga
Not a week old but read twice
And consuming me again
In a world I understand but can't touch
In a life I recognise but can't feel
Until I follow my world through the edges of the scene
And clamber in
And soak in the smell of the ink
That becomes a mash of leaves and bodies
All placed for me so that I can lose myself
And find someone else that I might have been

Lost times,
Are summed up in songs,
Of the moment.

That song she loved,
When we first met,
I know every word.

That song she showed me,
When our lives were,
Joined for a while.

That song I played,
When she left,
Still brings tears.

But so long ago now,
That I'm ready,
For new songs,
To become moments.

Does fear stem from the heart
Or seep in through cracks in your skin?
Does it build up in your blood
Or soak into the layers?
Does it pump through the insides of your brain?
Or dissolve into every lungful of smoky air?
And does that poison protect us
Or slowly wear us away?

Don't forget me, Eagle,
As you soar away from pain,
Your fear of heights pushed away,
Replaced with new escape.
You told me to write a poem,
Of the red sun on green waves,
And said you wished to fly,
For the sake of being strong.
You told me to stop thinking,
And live life instead.
And you wished to be the only one,
Alive in this place.
So don't forget me, Eagle,
Because I will not forget you.

Chasing a feeling that doesn't exist in reality,
Only in some fantasy,
Some imagined world where things aren't quite perfect,
But they're close enough,
To feel as if it would be worth trying to achieve it,
As if reaching out wouldn't be pointless,
So close to an ideal that it no longer feels impossible,
And of course, the company,
Not perfect people, but right.
The kind of people you pretend to hate,
While loving every second.

Perhaps I have found
A better place to start from,
Or nothing will change

If I'd only,
Held you a little longer,
Smiled a little brighter,
Or looked deeper in your eyes,
Would that show you?


If I'd only,
Been a little stronger,
Laughed a little lighter,
Or whispered the words in my mind,
Would you understand?

If I'd only,
Had one chance I'd have taken it,
If I'd only,
Been brave enough to say,
If I'd only,
One more day,
I'd spend it with you.

Eagle don't fly away,
Believe in my voice,
Let me join in your freedom,
And soar to the sky,
Let me watch over,
And protect you from harm,
Let me follow you,
Show me how to live before I die.

Growling of gears
and years fill my mind;
channel the effort, the pain,
the suffering I never knew
and experience it all in ten
minutes of labour
and with each lift, each struggle,
let them feel it too.

Je pense donc je suis
Mais je ne pense pas que je suis
ou je ne suis pas la fille tu voir
Tu voir une fille avec yeux de la tristesse
Quand mon cœur s'élève avec espoir
Je n'aime pas penser que
La personne que le monde connaît est un mensonge
Mais je crois qu'un jour
Je serai aimé
Car je ne me cacherai plus

Here we go,
The finish in sight,
The warm-up's over,
No comes the fight,
Through fatigue,
Tension and heavy feet,
When all signs say no -
Time to be the athlete

I'm not okay tonight
My focus is brittle
And scampering
Around my legs
Driving me mad
And filling
Every second
With sick, heavy thoughts
I hate them hate
Them hate they
Are not me.

I'm not okay tonight
I'm screaming, curling up
Into a ball of tension
One foot twitching
Breaths shallow
And shaking
Against the darkness
Sticking to my throat
And choking me
Into bed.

I can't remember the colour of her eyes
Or her hair or any of the things
You're supposed to pay attention to

I don't know her name or her number
Or what language she spoke
Before we agreed on English

I'm not sure how old she looked
Or why she spoke to me
When neither of us have met

But I know when she asked
If I'd like to walk with her
I definitely should have said yes

Sometimes smiles come for no reason,
Sometimes tears fall and you don't know why,
Sometimes truth pours out too early,
Sometimes patience deserts for too long.

Somewhere mistakes that were made did not linger,
Somewhere decisions were taken with more care,
Somewhere honesty was taken in measure,
Somewhere thoughts calmed the beating of hearts.

Somehow nothing ever seems to matter,
Somehow losing never seems to hurt,
Somehow knowing it's hopeless is a reason,
To keep going.

So I become the air: constant but turbulent at times,
And I keep wings from falling limp to the ground,
Eagles can't fly forever,
But the air will not let them down.

Toys I haven't seen,
Since I was a normal six year old boy
Who'd play with boy's toys,
Or his sister's.

Songs passed down,
From my parents without meaning,
Their love for them inherited,
So we sang.

Two brought together,
Old friends reunited and up to old tricks,
Making old jokes that now,
I understand.

A union seems so distant,
For a girl like me, perhaps impossible,
But still I can dream,
And make plans.

We sat across, hands held
And told each other our past
And I admitted to myself
My failings, my fear,
And cried in her arms,
Releasing the panic,
Letting her voice soothe me,
Her closeness ease the trembling
That takes over me so quickly,
She says I can love,
She says I must love myself,
That I matter,
And then I knew for sure,
Where my shattered heart lies.

If you believe, you can do anything
But not that
And not that

If you work for it, you can get anywhere
But not there
And not there

If you try hard, you can fix anything
But not that
And not that

If you love enough, you can be happy
But not now
And not now

If you commit, you can be anything
But not that
And not that

If you're ready, you can face the world
But not yet
And not yet

If you give enough, you can get anything
But not that
And not that

If you stand up, you will be counted
But not you
And not you

If you dream, you can do anything
But how could you ever hope to do that?

Perhaps what I never knew,
I never needed to know,
For otherwise what would be the point
in revelations or epiphanies?
Or those floods of emotion that drown you
in immeasurable feelings reaching dimensions
you never knew your soul had?
Some truths are kept hidden by
coincidence, circumstance, caution,
fear.
But truth must come in time,
And all at once in unfathomable blessings
from the heavens and sorrow of the Earth.
Honesty waits, patient as love,
Or love itself, perhaps,
Until our lives intersect,
And all at once, reality is shown.

Jumbling up body parts,
To find a new solution
To a bonkers problem
That never existed until
It hopped into my mind
And scattered away all logic,
Replaced by a childish dream,
A pointless exercise,
A useless creation,
But still such pride
In the randomness of my mind,
And such freedom to be found
In the limbs and eccentricities
Of a ridiculous beast
With no reality
But made real by me.

Intent is,
Not so far from,
Reality sometimes
But mostly just,
A glimmer,
A glint,
On a horizon,
Hopelessly far from,
Home.

As if from a dream,
Or maybe some time-soaked memory,
The white fabric hugged itself around me,
And opened my heart and lips to happiness,
As my eyes saw the girl in the mirror,
The same one from my dream,
And the curtain behind me becomes the cover of trees,
The seat beneath me a forest floor,
The light above me the stars of night,
And my breaths become a song.

The simple pleasure,
Of feeling my hair,
Move around in the wind,
Which carries on its breath,
The sweet sound of my name.

To know that as stranger's eyes,
Glance at me,
They see the same person,
As I see in my head,
Without a second look.

To feel the freedom in my legs,
The spring in my step,
Blossom under my feet,
Too early, perhaps, but the winter has been mild,
And my heart did not freeze.

I'm sorry if sometimes,
I can't smile,
It doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

I'm sorry if sometimes,
I can't feel safe,
I'm just not sure quite where I belong.

I'm sorry if sometimes,
It sounds as though,
I've given up all hope of light.

Because I'm sorry, but sometimes,
Words cannot drag me free,
From the unending, pain-filled night

Why are you falling so far without me
You said we could never be free
you said the ground was too far
For us to reach
Don't leave me here
Don't leave me here
I'm losing my sight
And I'm struggling to hear


Why are you running away
 you said we were here to stay
I can't believe you'd leave me in these handcuffs
A captive of my own brain
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
I can't understand
Why?
Where?
When?
How?

My words do not fear,
They speak without hesitation,
Onto the page.

My words do not hide,
They never avoid truth,
But reveal so much.

My words do not fade,
In the shadow of greater power,
They remain firm.

My words are not in chains,
They will never be enslaved,
Even when my heart is locked away