It feels good to be sober
ladies and gentlemen.
But most importantly it feels good
to notice that I'm loved.
That I'm finally happy.
To know I have you.
That god has my back.
It feels good to live.
To breath.
To be free.
It feels good to no longer depend.
To just be good old fashioned me.

I'm not good with words
and certainly not good with picking up hints

I have no way to actually put this in words
and I have no way to actually tell you

But recently you've had me floating on a cloud
that you exhaled

And I've never been more happy to have someone stroll into my life

All the bad boys.
All the fake thugs.
All the bad drugs.
All the chances.
All the hopes.
All the dreams.
All the classes.
All the glasses.
All the nights alone.
All the papers.
All the nights wishing.
All the nights wanting.
All the times tossing and turning.
All the beauty.
It's seemed to peek out more lately.
All the love.
The Miami boy.
All the boxes.
All the cars.
All the chances.
All the changes.
Ive seen the sun.
All the sunsets.
All the day dreams.
All the times I wish you could've been mine.
All the relapses.
All the triggers.
All the mistakes.
But this is me.

Maybe I loved a little too hard.

A little too much.

A little too annoying.

A little too passive aggressively.

A little too bad.

A little too good.

A little too sudden.

A little too selflessly.

A little too ******.

A little too much depth.

A little too much passion.

A little too much.

Maybe I loved a little too much.

October 8th the worse day.
I'm counting down the minutes.
I'm counting down the hours.
Reminding myself of the worse day of my life.
It's the anniversary.
It's hard to move on and just let go.
People tell me I'm torchuring myself,
when in reality I'm just facing the real world.
Whats happened to me does not define me.
But what I have gone through I know has changed me.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I have all these hopes and dreams.
I'm scared you won't be apart of them.
Or she will **** up.
Or dad will end up going crazy, once more.
All over a date.
A date that'll remain in my life forever.
A date I wish to let go but know I can never,
because I've learned and I've lost. This day is a day where the chapter is new and the print is bold. Not meak.