She fell.
    And she fell.
            And she fell

And each time she fell, it became harder and harder to stand back up.
But somehow she did. Each time.

And then one day she was carried.

She was lifted off the ground and was no longer in pain.
She was no longer worried about healing.
She saw new lights and could touch the clouds.
She felt love growing and it did not burn.

It was not jealous or boastful.
It was not envious or overbearing.
It was pure.
It was modest.
It was better than a gift because it was a seed. She had to make it something special and it was not instant gratification.
And she didn't realize this at first. But she has realized it now since the last time she fell and that is all that matters now.

He said "I love you"
I said you don't love me
He looked at me like I was crazy
I told him to show me
He put his hands on me
I said "exactly".

He said "I love you"
I said you don't know me
He smiled and said you've told me
I asked him what I was thinking
He put his hands on me
I said "exactly".

I haven't seen her in awhile
Heard her voice or seen that smile
So I'm staring at my phone
Thinking "maybe I should dial"

But I can't
Things aren't the same
I don't know when it went wrong
Or why things even changed

I hope you're doing well
Better than ever before
Life without you is hell
But I think it's time to close this door

And I hope that this can reach you
Just so you know
I'll never forget you
And how you made me grow

If I could turn back the hands of time
I'd fix all the broken
Keep us in our prime
With you gone, I've awoken
And realized the problems were all mine
But now we're over
Goodbye to cloud nine

No you can't stay
Get the **** out
I called you to come over for a quick session
And now I'm done, so your time is out.

What do you mean you're feeling tired?
You have to go, you need to leave
Yes I'm serious, get the **** out
You've done all you can for me.

I don't want your company,
I don't want to cuddle
Thanks for being my midnight squeeze
You can leave your number on the table.

I doubt I'll call
Don't ask me personal questions
Don't walk away feeling more than
The bare essential intentions.

I told you what this was in the beginning
I have no room for your feelings
I don't know that you expected from this
But it really did have NO meaning

Let me tell you how I see this now
If you make no changes and decide to stand your ground
If you never open up and believe that I will leave
One day I promise what you fear, it shall be.
You don't want to cut ties with women in your past,
For just in case we don't work, you have a backup plan..
But these past women will keep interfering with us even if you choose to ignore,
Because I can't overlook the fact that you have one foot in and the other out the door.
You said you've been here before and you don't see how this will last
So eager you are to say goodbye, I wish you'd slow down before we crash
I can't help you see what I see, you don't feel what I do
I didn't want to do this, but now I have to let go of you.

I regret turning on this movie
I have to walk away
I can't watch her suffer his cruelty,
I can't watch her endure ****.
His abuse and her torture
I feel goosebumps and I cringe
I leave the room before I *****
Because I hate being reminded of him.
All these years later
You would think I'd be fine
But I'm not, and I can't stand it
The experience lingers in my mind.
I hate that to this day, I still flinch at night
And I yell in my sleep
I hate that I can't talk about it with anyone
Because I don't want to be seen differently.
I ******* hate being reminded of you
Showers and rhymes don't make me feel better or clean
I hate that I blame myself so harshly for that night
But I let myself down; I was the only one who could have saved me.