hiding myself
in oversized shirts
not letting any
defect get out

my mistakes
rumbling down
to edges
wanting to get out

imperfections
glued into my
clothes wanting
to stick out

they are hidden
for a long time
but now i am
ready to wear
tank tops
and short shorts
bikinis and or
dresses

i am bare
i am naked
and
i am proud

you were
the smoke
i always
wanted to savor
you were
the high
my calm have
always looked for

but i was the lungs
who managed
to survive
without being yours

trying not to
**** myself like
gratitude journals
and internalizing every
word on drake's new album
trying to understand
why you want to **** me
in the middle of
12 am twitter dms
wearing your words
like a straight jacket
that once made me feel
free
tiny desk concerts like
a hard life lesson
with lukewarm thoughts
of you on the hottest
of days

I want to write so badly
hurts with every line I delete
write about how it hurt this morning
when I woke up alone
when I fell asleep
with someone next to me

one day i will cherish the way my lungs fill
i will indulge in the way wet hair drapes against my skin
i'll forget how it feels to bleed into the sky
i'll find parts of me i lost in the house i grew up in
i will fall in love with the sound of mind
i will no longer decay
i will be the blood in my veins