Your fingers burned me
So when they asked me for proof
I lifted up my dress.
They dusted my thighs for
Fingerprints
Like they would a burglary.
They told me to explain again
What had happened.
I told them  how you
Pried me open like
The doors of a
Closed convenience store
Gutted me like an
Abandoned house
Left me for dead like
A deer after the
Headlights
They said there was
Nothing
They could do
I told them how you
Emptied me like
An alcoholic at the bar
After years of sobriety
Stained me like
The glass windows
In your church
Broke me like
The mirrors you
Can't bare to look into
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
I can't look in the mirror
Anymore
They asked me for proof
So I lifted up my dress
They dusted my thighs
For fingerprints
I swear were there
I see them
The third degree burns
Covering my legs
My neck
My chest
I told them how
You made me into a
Museum of art
I don't want to be a part
Of
You made me into a
Museum of mosaics
And tragedies
And other broken things
I told them how
You made me into
Railroad tracks
That I lie on and
Wait for a train
That never comes
I told them about
the burns you kissed
into my skin
the blisters that
throb and
pulse
like the heartbeat
I used to have
They asked me for proof
So I lifted up my dress
For fingerprints I swear
Were there
They dusted my thighs
Like the crime scene
They were
Like the crime scene
They are
They asked me if
I had any other proof
I told them about the
Flashbacks
About how any hands
On me feel like your
Hands
About how you
Stripped me
Both physically
And mentally
About how I begged
You to stop
About how you didn’t stop
They said there was
Nothing
They could do
They said they were
Sorry
I said
Me too

being a girl means being dainty and innocent, means pure, means modest, means princess.
girl means legs crossed and church on Sunday's. girl means pepper spray and short skirts but not too short but not too long either. girl means *****. girl means chastity belt. girl means traveling in groups, means inferior, means less. girl means makeup and ******* and a sight for sore eyes. girl means girl is seen as object, seen as lingerie, seen as *** toy, only if girl looks good enough to be a *** toy, but even if she doesn't. girl means seen but not heard. girl means nice to look at, girl means nice to touch even when girl says no. girl says no means no, except when boy thinks no means yes. girl means what she says, except when girl doesn't, girl doesn't want you to ask, except when she does. girl is SO confusing, except when she's not. girl means no when girl says no, even when boy wishes girl says yes. girl means 1 in 4. girl means statistic, means unbelievable because if girl cries **** and nobody was around to see it, did it happen? girl wishes it didn't.

they call it self harm like you are the one hurting yourself. I can tell you that six months ago I was not the one carving hate into my skin. but people don't want to hear that. people don't want to hear that my skin has been razor free for half a year because that would mean razors have touched it. I know this because I told my best friend about my hobby and they are not my best friend anymore. people only want to be friends with survivors. no one wants to be around long sleeves regardless of the weather. no one wants to be around a rain cloud on a sunny day. no one wants to go on a drive with you if you always end up at the same bridge. you have to learn how to be your own best friend. you have to learn to put the razor down. you have to learn how to love yourself. you have to learn that scars heal and people change. six months ago I did not know this. I've learned I've changed and so can you.

suddenly my poems stopped rhyming and I stopped counting my stanzas
and suddenly you stop calling
suddenly the marks on my wrists aren't scars anymore, they're open wounds
suddenly the world is crumpling around me and I'm afraid to touch you I'm so afraid you'll slip right between my fingers
suddenly you're gone so fast I don't know if I just imagined you
suddenly they aren't 2 am thoughts anymore they are all the time thoughts
and suddenly all my poems aren't love poems anymore