I thought about sending you my poetry link tonight
but immediately resisted the temptation
why should I give you the satisfaction of caring

you probably ****** the school **** tonight

im beginning this act where I don't care about you
and I don't care what you do
and I wish that was true
I wish you didn't consume my thoughts
every day
every hour
almost every minute

all the guys I talk to
are only a temporary high

they are a temporary filling for the hole you left in my heart

and maybe im the dumbest human being for still loving you through everything you have put me through
but I have never really been common sense smart
and maybe all of this is a lesson
to tell me what I deserve

but I still know I don't deserve better

and it just hurts
it hurts when I try and fall asleep
knowing you're probably not thinking of me
but another girl that you're probably just using

and I wonder when you'll realize that you actually liked me for me, not my body
but all these other girls won't mean **** after you please yourself
and I wonder when you will realize I actually mattered
and I wonder when you will realize you lost me

you lost me
and I lost myself
and I hope I can get back to the happiness I held before I met you
im just learning to live without you
how is it so easy for you babe?

roses are red
violets are blue
its almost valentines day
but I don't **** with you

I miss you

I turn my music louder so I wont hear my thoughts
but its stupid because the lyrics remind me of what I'm trying to forget

I watched the clock
7:39
7:40

In that minute
108 people died

what if one of those people happen to be
someone I knew
someone I love

so I have come to this epiphany
what the **** am I doing

I just wasted one minute of my life
a minute that someone could only wish for now
so why am I wishing my minutes away

love someone?
tell them
they don't love you back?
let them go. now.
have a test?
study
feeling sad?
cry
cry and cry and cry
feeling happy?
spread it

because every minute that passes
will never come back
and even though I love you,
the minutes are still passing,
and I know you are not coming back.

because I say that you have ruined my life

but if I could go back to the day I first met you
where i walked with you in that long hallway after 5th period
I would do it all over again

yes, I wish I would have never met you
but I also wish that we could have a new beginning

because whatever we have is so different
and we messed that **** up

we ruined it for ourselves

so
yes, I would start over with you
but is it really worth it?
knowing we will probably ***** it up again

do I really want to be laying on my floor
a year from now
with a knife in my hand
just as I am doing now

because I was never good at change

but then again, I was never good at pleasing you

and maybe i fell so hard into lust
that you tricked me into believing it was love