Olga Valerevna

Olga Valerevna Mar 2016

I'm not without the thought of you converging into me
'Cause everyone I've ever met is nothing close to we
So tell me where we're going next and I will pack my things
The south and north and east and west will teach us how to sing
I've noted only happy days that I've already spent
Beside the shadow of the sun in everywhere we went
And I cannot explain this to a single 'nother soul
you're part of what makes all of me, your being makes me whole
We'll stumble into other things and try to catch our breath
But in the end it's me and you until there's nothing left
And even then we'll see ourselves exactly as we should
And trust that all we've done to date is only for the good
I loved you then, I love you now and that will never change
your moon's become the only star that hasn't gone away
I'll live inside the galaxy that brings me to your bed
And recognize your presence as my senses are reset
I've held you one too many times and here we go again
I want to have you something bad don't let this be the end

we could've been forever

#something #things

Olga Valerevna Feb 2016

Not a Crux

My heart has weathered follies I may never understand
And what of this perdition nearly ending what I can't
To bare another season I will need to be assured
That everything before this has been nothing but a blur
My lips have tasted fire but my tongue is still in tact
and I will let its fury run its course along my back
With everything in motion there's a way for me to tell
That I am coming out of some relentless little hell
I'll dance myself in circles with the strength that has remained
And slip into my skin as though I choose to live again
Appearance has no value lest it channels what's inside
and once the people see it they will open up their eyes

genuine to the eye

#crux

Olga Valerevna Feb 2016

one for me and one for you

if I tell you I've been drinking will you count it as a slight
and question every word that I have said to you tonight
I may have sipped enough to tempt regret for all it's worth
but there is nothing left of my emotions to disturb
I've watched another person walk the way that I once did
and took it as a lesson to leave all of me unhid
the openness reduces any falseness that exists
and puts me face to face with the reality of it
I think I should've waited to be what I was to you
allowed myself to recognize the lie I took as truth
the world that we've created is completely all our own
and I can't seem to find a way to make it out alone

title and inspiration taken from Jhenè Aiko's, "Brave"

#brave #one

Olga Valerevna Feb 2016

On the sixth year

I left you alone to go wander
And see all the places you could
But people are more than their faces
they blend in with more than they should
I thought we were on the same mountain
And moving with all that we knew
But you were a seeker in hiding
A dreamer who never came true
So take every day of existence
As something you've always embraced
There's more to this life than you've offered
Than you've ever given away
I'm back on the border of solace
And trying to work for my keep
For there lies the secret of living
We find what we lose in our sleep
I will not proclaim that I had you
As much as I want to say, "yes"
you've never been more than a stranger
A quiet, untouchable mess
I made you an anchor of nothing
And hoped there was something I missed
But I have been waiting in vain to
Admit we could ever exist

we will not reach the sixth year

#year #six

Olga Valerevna Feb 2016

the apartment

carry me high, bury me low
tell me I'm the only one you'll never let go
speak it away, talk all the time
ask me every question then crawl out of my mind
I am without what is within
you will be to someone else what to me you've been
look what you've done, nothing has changed
how could you expect me to decide I should stay
why did you think this could be real
now that I have welcomed silence, I want to feel
what a remark, words from the heart
I can hear the beat of lovers falling apart

move in, move out

#move

Olga Valerevna Jan 2016

Dear

I may've been a part of everything I've ever done
But out of all the messes I regret but only one
I searched myself on purpose just to question what I knew
And found that in forgiveness I am truly made anew
I've let You seal the corners of the letters I have writ
Without a doubt I give You my uncertainty to smit
I care not for the burden I have cast upon my head
For I believe I'll carry only what You deem undead
Position me to stumble and I'll fall the way I should
Be overwhelmed with gladness at the mercy of the good
I can't remember being anybody else's clay
You've molded me completely into who I am today
So here's to every future I could ever hope to have
While walking in this body til another comes to pass
I hope that You'll prepare it for the second, third and fourth
However long it's meant to tread the soil of the earth

You

#you #dear

Olga Valerevna Jan 2016

Recoil, ignite

I will not write again of you the way I used to do
you've swallowed up enough of me to last you many moons
and if you try to find me in the places you will go
you'll only test your memory against a single soul

it used to be so easy to get lost inside your head
I found so little meaning in the words you never said
it must've been subconsciousness that let me see it all
unraveled my surroundings so there wouldn't be a wall

I think it was a fever that caused both of us to burn
ignited by a dreamer and a sleepy little girl
I've wanted you forever said the maker of the dream
until you have returned to me I cannot fall asleep

I shake as all my weakness leads my body to your door
but I can't lose a battle I'm not fighting anymore
so back to the recoil, hesitation has an end
I'll always be as close to you as I have ever been

title and inspiration taken from MONO's, "Recoil, ignite"

#ignite #recoil