In drivers ed they say you must hold your hands in the "10 and 2" position, like the numbers on a clock but my time with you is always blurry and I know there's only 10 fingers and 2 hands that are holding my heart from falling off a cliff and that my dear is not very safe so next time your thoughts are a train wreck just remember wear a seat belt and tread carefully among the caution tape.

You told me to come out of my head,
and I told you I was a prisoner there.
You told me I had the power to change it all.
I told you that you didn't understand.
You insisted I could ignore the thoughts that haunted me,
and then I tried to believe you.      
I was a goner for sure,
but you spoke to me like I meant something to this world.        
And I think you saved my life again.

you call out
"god help us"
in the quietest voice,
and I hear in it a desperation to be heard.
it's the way a mother would die for her child, as if it were no choice at all.
and the same sort of love that it takes
to stand between bullets
and your sister.
it's how a husband will do anything and everything to protect his wife.
it's what matters.
it's the way it should be.
you would lie down your heart to save what it beats for.
and at the the end of the day,
at the end of time,
it will be what saves us all.

There are these
Old poems
Dedicated to
This one boy
Who
For about a week
Made my heart
Stop with
Nervousness

Not the kind that
Makes you want to
Dive in head first.
No.
It was more of a
Shaking feeling
That I didn't
Understand to be love.
But I guess it was
At least back then
Before the
Silence
Followed me there too.

He had a charming way
About him
That made all
Of the girls fall in
Something like
Love.

It was nice to
Know a man like him.

I remember his eyes
When he told me
He loved me
And there was nothing
I could do to
Change that.
And his embrace.
The memory is empty
To me now.
But I know
What his arms
Felt like around me
That one time it
Felt
Right.

Oh come all you sinners
come knock at my door
and bring your sweet treasures
dark pleasures and more.

Come dwell in my darkness
and be who you'll be
For I have seen Heaven.
It wasn't for me.

So bind me with harp strings
and taste nectar sweet,
see my wings, now in tatters,
halo at my feet.

So I call to you sinners
please come, if you dare
to where pain leads to pleasure,
I'll wait for you there.

Mr brightside come back to make me smile,
I haven't seen you for a long time it's been a lengthy while.

Come light me up with your sunshine like the days when I felt free,
sitting by the river reading books under my favorite tree.

Mr brightside shine your warm light brightly,
lift this darkened mood even if it's just slightly.

Give me strength and courage to lift me from this state,
take away the sadness don't let me feel such hate.

Mr Brightside please save me from this torment,
let me live my life so i can appreciate the moment.

I cannot see their eyes, but their faces haunt me at night.

I have never felt the touch of their lips, but I can never forget their hands.

Love is a fickle thing and if you aren't brave enough, it won't hang around.
I learned through loss that courage has nothing to do with what you have.

8-year-olds who don't check under the bed have courage.
17-year-olds who know how to say "No" have courage.
Mothers without husbands have courage.

Love wants us to be courageous.
She asks a lot because she will never give up;

Broken hearts come from people giving up on her.