she took
herself
away
too soon
at sixteen
could’ve given
a single try
to what she was
but it wasn’t her call
a tattoo of a finger
around her face
i must’ve looked for her
five times, maybe more
she said
she wanted everyone
to see
her *******
she didn’t care
she cared so little
that she didn’t care
to stay alive
ended always
with a trumpet
in the skies
the hats i wore
when i was sixteen
the backpacks
like rabbit ears
eating radibly
hating one another
if i had the chance
of something more
not what you all say
not a kiss
not a hug
but a slice
of pizza
on the curb
talking
staring at
the passing buses
entering
tunnels
of thoughts
and memories
running
for the color
we were missing
on those grey skies
and bumpy drives
oh
how you mocked them
all
because
just like me
they were all
better than you and I
because we’re
born poisoned
collect our feet
from step to step
you’ll find bruises
and no smiles
flashes, perhaps
flashes of withheld tears
i don’t care
we’re all azure
i still see
you running
through the puddles
avoiding
the missing step
you had another you
with you
someone to get you
more than i ever did
is it still
living
when the curbs
don’t see me
anymore?
how did you do it?
i’m scared
i’m a certifiable
coward
the desire
yes
i feel it
i’m kinda jealous
you found your way
you stopped believing
in your own skin
that we’re all ok
and that we’d all
be ok
i could’ve begged you
to stay
to hear my words
and find out
what’s missing
but i’m fooling myself
in beauty
did they
place it there
to entertain us
while we fall
and get shredded
and tossed
around?
we won’t be
no guns
all it takes
is a leap
were you even
thinking of me?
that this was gonna be
a message
from the other side
asking me to join
eyes closed
in the darkest sheds
of no suns
and moons
made of cotton ribbons
i see a dark
lonely door
awaiting for a hug
that’s you
right?
it has to be you
i thought
i had to figure out
the things
i wouldn’t be able
to do
without
you
and balance
my board
out
but i don’t
i just needed your push
because balance
hell
won’t find any
this world’s currency
is happiness
and each other
and i have too much
of none of the two
tend that hand
with you baggy
jeans jacket
i ponder
in miscommunication
**** us
and all of our feelings
we’ve failed ourselves
but we’ve failed
each other most than
anything
all the people
i’ve lost
were
mine to save
if we’ve built
these bridges
these crosses
these relationships
we must
love them
and survive
like poetry
left in the streets
in the arms of a singer
who’s listening to the world
but the world
isn’t listening to
help us, friends
i’m trying to move on
to forever
but this eternity
has failed
every single hit
missed all the punches
at this point
i’m lip syncing
to a song
that wasn’t written for me
awkward
brought on stage
with a band that doesn’t belong
they’re not playing my song
but it’s because
the world doesn’t want to
hear it
the world
will spin
and you’ll still
be gone
swing after swing
and while i believe
i’m truly here
it truly feels
like we’re not