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N Nov 2016
Running through empty streets,
chasing dreams
and resurrecting hope. The faint smell
of troubled youth is carried by
a strangely cold November breeze
from a baker's window--

Cinnamon and ***

Somewhere in the corner where the buses
stop there are children drawing
rainbows and flowers
on the rough asphalt, innocently trying
to make each other crack a smile

Somewhere along the shore stands an old,
longing man picturing his wife
knee-deep in the water,
soft and beautiful as ever and
he is losing patience waiting for their reunion

Three blocks away from the chapel
some anxious fourteen-year-old is
blasting Polarize,
wanting to be a better brother, better son

His mom yells it's too loud and he covers
his face with a pillow

In the distance you will hear bottles
breaking along with the hearts
offered but ignored

There's a tapping of restless fingers on
the keyboard by a woman finally finding
the right words to say to someone
who gave up on life too soon
but as the clock strikes 3 she realizes
it's already too late.
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiPBQJq49xk
---
N Nov 2016
endless sips
and countless
spinning
of bottles

silly dares
and frightening
truths

tired young
souls

binge drinking,
can't keep up
with the world
turning
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrWwtU7iyl0
---
N Nov 2016
they told me
to embrace life
but i can't
stretch my arms
any further

i'm afraid
that one day
i will just
lose it
and snap
and i will
hurt the both
of us just
  innocently standing
on opposite
ends
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxZ5B1lVXPc
---
  Nov 2016 N
Charles Bukowski
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.
  Oct 2016 N
Sylvia Plath
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a **** lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
0 my enemy.
Do I terrify?----

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
N Oct 2016
sorry for spilling your already cold coffee on the floor;
i just had too much caffeine that's why
my hands are shaky and my chest is banging.
and sorry for staring; i didn't mean to.
i was just trying to figure out how to survive
the next week with this little amount of money.
sorry for taking too long to answer;
i have a mind like an unmade bed.
also very sorry for not helping you carry
your stack of hardbound books, girl.
my cat fell asleep beside me last night  and
i didn't want to wake her up so i was stuck
in the same position for a good four hours.
sorry i'm blabbing.
what were you talking about so loudly again?
oh yes, the eternal traffic.
you'd rather waste your time being fixated
on the talking orange on tv spitting garbage
about non-whites, wouldn't you?
sorry was that mean?
oh, but did you hear somebody say
girls should take it easy on the make-up for a bit?
you know, because of the killer clowns and ****.
funny, right?

i want to bang my head against the wall already

what?
no, no, i'm seriously just kidding.

ah yes, finally.
the bell.
see you tomorrow.
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nydxbGhgv8
---
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