She lay on a hospital bed like a pale rose wilting on a pillow sham
done were her days of counting every morsel of food and gram  
they told her if she stopped eating she would cease to live and die  
feeding tubes inside her nose, she stared into an anemic blue sky
knowing that her final breath was near, she took her mother's hand
as tears spilled on her hair of gold, she whispered, "mom,  I can't "
the girl who removed the chaff from the wheat no longer had to eat
they placed a large sheet on her tiny frame tiny little feet
later as she lowered to the ground all of life just went askew  
an invisible waif had flown away without a change or point of view
scent of  green tea, honey, vine, moss and fruit, finally empirically ground
flower songs of beauty, she ate and drank, without making a single sound
as she lay on a cloud and watched the sun go down, it was the final call
she felt thin, she felt beautiful, she wasn't hungry,  no,   not at all ...

April 30, 2021

Why bind me to my own words
You are free from all the strings
I am not moving in years
But you've been flying ever since.

I found everything when I was lost
In the valley of my thoughts
every second paused,
but lost every thought as I came back
to the present and the same spot.

Oh life why did you
Deal me this hand
It would’ve been easier
To be a simplistic man

To accept an end
Bow to death
Allow the darkness
Withhold the breath

All the thing simple men do
For all of life’s seasons
That happen to you

Oh life
Please hold long
Keep this body going strong
Mind and spirit
Remain aware
There’s a reason why I’m here!

Why the thought of an impending death
Stubbornly clings to me from time to time
As icicles hanging from the trees
Sending chills up through every neuron
I hear their empty rattle in my head
As rabid dogs barking at nothing
Though Shelley was full of praise
And hailed Death and Sleep as brothers
To me it is not so and will never be

Not that I am afraid to die
Nor my absence will shake the Earth out of its orbit
But it makes my thoughts break into fragments
And I find it hard to piece them together

Even if I die, my children will live as before
My husband might seek another partner
Or might pass to a new celibate state
They will never be benighted or tempest tossed
And eventually my memory shall fade
Fade away without a trace from all hearts

As I walk through the winding road
And the closer I come to the terminal
From where there is no more treading
And as time pulls the blind on my life
When the curtain falls finally and my play ends
I don’t want to leave this stage
Nor want to lose my hold
Of those hands I love and care
There are gifts still to be opened
And newer avenues to be explored

Oh, I am in love with this world
To be more true, with narcissistic ardor
I am in love with myself
I know how dangerous it is to be addicted to love

So Death, carry me in my sleep, if you must
Or sweep me away by an inundating tide
Unawares into the ocean of Eternity
Like a feather blown away by the winds!