The first time I saw God was in a sunset,
the second in your eyes

The third was in a mirror, and the forth in open skies

After that I can't remember,
too blurry to restore.
I still look for God in sunsets
but can't find him anymore.

So when you think of me like that,
Don't hold tight to the thought
It's mangled with the branches
Of loss and love you wrought

And when you think of me like this,
Don't let it settle down
Your heart is much too fragile  
To toil with what's not around

And when your thought crosses me,
I'll close my eyes to see
How easy I made this sound,
And how hard it's turned out to be

What happens when the pieces don't fit/ they all belong to a different puzzle/ separated by time/ you can't have it all/ you'll never have it all at once/ but how can a heart handle the separation/ how does a heart learn to tell the difference/ and when? / I'm wondering if it ever will/ the tree was too tall but I climbed it anyway/ saw too much too soon/ I'll bite my tongue and tell you it's just you/ I'll tell you it's just you/

Looking down is lonely
but up only burns
looking back I see smoke
forward only wrong turns

So I let myself fall
one place now to rest
Closed eyes feels like nothing,
and nothing feels best

what's left feels broken
the remains don't feel whole
and I just can't make sense
of the things I don't know

like the thoughts in your head
when they counted most
and why I'm still here
and now you're a ghost

I told you I wasn’t perfect, but on your pedestal I stood
I told you I would make mistakes, but you didn’t hear a word
I begged and I pleaded for you to listen, but you would drown me out
So the day I ****** things up was the day you did more than shout
You wailed and screamed and cried, you held a funeral as if the pretty parts of me had died
But Honey, I warned you, perfection is not real
The disappointment you have is yours to carry, and is not mine to feel
As you leave you slam the door, trailing echoes of regret
I cover my ears for silence, but my thoughts break through in time
If you would have just listened, ******* opened up your eyes
You would have seen that honey, this came as no surprise
This disappointment is yours, and is not mine
For honey I’ve known that I’m not perfect for quite a long time.

I’m so tired of the *******. Of the “I’ll miss you’s” and the “I’ll never forget about you’s” because the truth is you won’t miss me and you’ll forget about me without even trying. You’ll say what I want to hear, you’ll get what you want, and you’ll leave. You’ll let me attach myself to you and then you’ll push me away. You’ll wonder why I’m being so crazy, why I care so much, when the truth is you knew exactly what you were doing. And you’ll **** her without thinking of me while I hold his hand and think of you. You’ll hear my name and smirk while I hear yours and am forced to catch my heart before it hits the floor. But no, no, don't worry about me! Go on and tell some other girl that she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve had the privilege to touch. Maybe, just maybe, one day you'll actually mean it.