'take care of yourself better, sis'
'c'mon, lovi, eat more than one, for mom?'
'****, i'm sorry- i made you feel worse, ****...'
'no, no it's fine, lovi'
but i won't.
maybe if you paid more attention i-
i wouldn't be destroying myself inside and out.

...
Ding.
...
I check and find something.
A text from you,
I'm turning blue.
I don't want to speak to you.

How I've been used.
Socially abused.
I don't want to talk,
Just keep staring and mock.

Don't look at me,
Don't talk to me,
Just leave me here to be.
Please.

Look that way,
Look away,
Look the other way
From me.

Don't stare,
Don't act like you care,
Don't like how everything's fair,
It's not fair.

I'm just fine,
Stop asking.
Interest
Is just what I've been lacking.

why wouldn't i be?
i'm smiling,
i'm laughing,
i'm saying that i'm fine.
why won't you believe me?

Outside shows hate,
But inside says love.
I don't know whether to believe
Those feelings or not.

sometimes,
dear,
you sound just a little jealous.
i see it in your eyes.
you hate me with her.
i see it in your writing.
you hate what i do.
maybe you'll think i'm stuck up.
i could do better,
it's my fault.
i'm sorry,
i was trying,
dear.
trying to be better..?
i don't know.
but i was trying.

Vile and bile
What's the difference?
They both taste the same in my mouth.

how can i do
a n y
of this
when you're just
better?
.
.
.
.