'you're such a good girl'
beep beep beep

unfamiliar breathing, followed by
silence. my naked body is
alone on my bed sheets.
loneliness breaks my own hand and
morals for a way to get
off but i don't. i sit there and
conjure up sweet whisperings
of how i want you. *******,
deep and hard and cold.

if i'm such a good girl, then
tell me. why do i wish my flesh
will melt away like the leaves?
masochistic idiosyncrasies
wrap my vanilla heart up in
a pretty little bow. your fingers
beg to scratch off my humanity;
they have to wait their turn.

hyper awareness

fingertips crackle with
electricity

my spine
is a lightning rod

eagerly consuming
every stroke of your fingers

body thrumming
with electricity

mind power
shifting into
maximum overdrive

And now I realize
The deeper meaning to the words you speak
These are not words of encouragement
These are pleadings from a drowning man
To the only thing he has left

This book seems to be devoted to you
your mention graces almost every page
but it isn't
it's devoted to me
to my growth
and to my feelings

Though it will ******* me still
sooner or later I'll begin to know
what to give and what to leave to life

It's my fault in a way
I showed people
and expected them to see it the way I did
but no one has the same heart as me