Where do you go
When your face loses all of it's color
When your voice loses all of it's composure

Where does your energy go when the green leaks out of your eyes
When you turn from a bright summer day into a weary winter night

I know where you go
You waste so much energy
Trying to go back to how it was

You drown yourself in the same memories I use to keep me afloat

Father, you are the wiser one
But you are also jaded
These past few years
Have been termites
Slowly eating away at the vibrant light you used to be

The man you used to be comes out in occasion
I think even sometimes it shocks you
Your laugh makes the sun shine a little but brighter

For the longest time I thought that you were swimming just fine
That even though debt and regrets were always a regret
You had faith that you'd make it out

But now I understand
You are just a strong swimmer
You don't have faith that you'll get out of the water
You just won't give yourself another choice

You tell me that I should work hard to make life what I want it to be
You tell me that I have the potential to be in a better place
You teach me to be the opposite of you

And just now I realize
The deeper meaning to the words you speak
These are not words of encouragement
These are pleadings from a drowning man
To the only thing he has left

Walking in jeans
stained with
grass
and
memories