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ask me how many boys have told me they loved me,
then ask me how many of them meant it.
 Oct 2014 Nicole Holland
crea
Writing isn't really my thing.

It never has been and I don't think it ever will be.

But god **** I could write a book about all the things I love about you.
You attempt suicide
and I'm the only one that died
Welcome to your new home
I'm sorry about the mess
But the last person who lived in here
Left it a bit of a wreck
They often used harsh language
and smoked too many cigarettes
they were rough around the edges
and all around a mess
They passed that on to me
and for I while I joined in
But then it became painful to me
In nothing could I win
But they packed up and left
and I went through rehabilitation
So here I am before you
refreshed and anew
and now I wish to open my heart
once again for you
So come make a happy home
lay your self to rest
It all belongs to you now
I give you all my best.
 Oct 2014 Nicole Holland
wilting
008
 Oct 2014 Nicole Holland
wilting
008
I don't know if it's the whiskey or the cigarettes or the one night stands or the phony lovers phoning you for self affirmation that they too - can **** like a professional star on a cheap website.

I don't know if everything I've ever been told was only a regurgitation of everything someone else has ever been told. If we all function solely through heresy and political agendas.

Blood stains on freshly lit cigarettes, they say those'll **** you - but I'm already dead inside.

Starve myself because the scale hates me
                       because the models in the magazines are what my lover fancies
                        because every photograph I've seen within the past several years were of girls resembling holocaust victims - who most likely suffered in the same way that most of those victims have. But only in the sense that, they themselves were the German Nazis malnourishing their Jewish bodies of food.


How awful it must feel, to embody both the **** and the Jewish girl. But I've never actually read Anne Frank's memoir - so what the **** do I know.

If I were skinnier, if I were prettier, if I were smarter, if I read more non fiction and russian literature - if I listened to radio talk shows about politics and found scifi equally as enjoyable as I find raunchy cult classics that make up the subculture stereotype.

       Would I then, capture your attention?


I've already lost my own, truthfully. But everything is only temporary anyways.
Funny, isn't it?
That a woman no more than a knee-high coffee table and a few copies
of National Geographic away from me
is holding a cell phone in one hand
and an apple in the other.
One will eventually **** her,
and the other will make sure a doctor
isn't around when it happens.
Just a thought.
R    R    R
O  O  O
  P  P  P
   EEE
   Our
  Tiny
Hands
  Would
    Grasp
       The
     Colorful
      Intertwined
         Threads as
           It keeps us
            All together.
               Our small frail
                 Faces grow and
                   The rope now fades
                      To brown becoming
                        Strength and freedom
                          Scaling mountains tall
                              And high. The rope
                              Is now saving the life
                               Of the man who slips
                                Or falls. It's amazing
                               How this small dusty
                               Rope, the one sitting
                                Thrown in the corner
                             The one that saves that
                        Mans life when tied
                    Into a circle loses the
                Meaning of life. It now
             Becomes a noose to
             Escape from your
          Dark days. That
      Same lifeline
  Now an end
To life. Now
Take that
Rope and
Twirl it high
Above your
Head watch
It become a
Game, and a
   Challenge full
     Of fun rope the
       Cows and grab your
         Friends which this rope
           Let's you catch. Now add
             A second circle and the
                Cowboy tool becomes a
                   Bow to tie your loves
                     Precious gift and teach
                       A child to work their shoe
                          Change the bow into a
                           Knot and it becomes
                         Your undoing, tying you
                     Back holding your hands
                  As you struggle with
               Your strenghth. It's
           Amazing how a
      worthless string
Of twisted twine
Becomes our
Entire lives
Saving them
Holding them
  Tying them
    Ending them
      Cheering them
        And keeping them
         To some it is a
    Collection of strings
Twisted to form a
Strong enough
Rope. To me
They are the
Strings of life
Put together to
Form our
stories
  R R R
O  O  O
P   P    P
E   E     E
Please comment, I'd love to hear what you have to say.
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