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 Nov 2015 Nicholas
oakley
answers
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
oakley
we're just
...
suicidal kids
telling other
suicidal kids
that
s u i c i d e
isn't
*the answer
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
Don't Exist
Numbness coats my skin
it coats my eyes
my mouth, my brain, my legs
I can barely move
nor do i want to
dumbbells are on top of each shoulder blades
they hung down on my cheeks
they become the shirts I wear
my shoes...
my eyelids
Tired
I'm waiting to be set free from these chains
these awkward chains
and people stare at me
question why I put my head down in long silence
help me, no don't
I'll be okay
I let the dumbbells drag me to the ground
Let me add on its process
I don't want to be here no more
don't want to see the world around me
don't want to feel the touch of predetermine passions
there is nothing but numbness and weight
But what about the light?
who cares, I rather die
then wait
I get lost in your eyes
In the purest of ways,
Like being lost on the beach
On the sunniest days.

And I'm caught by your touch,
So smooth and so sure,
I'm caught altogether
In all that we were.
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
oakley
It's said that people fall out of love
For the same reasons they fell in love
All the things I love about you
May someday make me despise you
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
oakley
Control
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
oakley
Pain is a monster.
Control it,
fight it,
isolate it.
Lock it away
in a padded cell,
Silence it,
ignore it.
Don't let it spread.
Don't let it take over.
If you become your pain,
they treat you the same way,
like the monster you are.
She's half a heart
Because you took more away
Than you gave her

She's mad at night
And tries to sleep
Searching for peace

She can't see through the rage
Or through the tears
Or through the pain

What you did was fail her
Because she believed
In you wholeheartedly
 Nov 2015 Nicholas
Hanna Mae Mata
You’re not even a disease.
But ****,
did you **** me well.
- aiming right at my heart.
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