i have so much in my mind
the words just flooding inside of
me waiting to be drained
why can’t i let them go?

i have so much to give
yet, i’m selfish and keep it to myself

every time i see him
i want to scream and tell him everything
but it’s so difficult
why?

how come when there’s something
that makes me mad, my mind tells me, “it’s better
to stay quiet…”

i don’t want to stay quiet
i want to open up
i want to speak my mind
but it just doesn’t agree with me

maybe it’s my fear that
i’ll be judged and my mind’s
just trying to protect me
it wants me to be safe

but what if there was a person
who my mind finally trusts?
a person that breaks
open the flooding dam of words i’ve built
a person who doesn’t make it so difficult

but is there ever such a person?

I wanted to write about confidence
Not the kind that makes
a girl pout her lips
and hide her spark away.

Not the kind that makes
a woman look presumptuous,
even though she feels like
a little girl inside.

I wanted to write about
real confidence

The kind of inner beauty that
simply shines through.
The type of confidence
that smiles at strangers
and speaks her mind.

I wanted to write
about the type of walk
that isnt afraid of
little flirtig
and the firm step
that knows what she deserves
and what she wants.

I wanted to capture confidence
to unravel it
and put it into a formula
but how can I do this
if I still feel insecure most of the time?

there was a slice of chocolate cake in the fridge
and my sister asked me if i wanted it.
i didn't respond, stared off into space
and continued to smoke my cigarette
in the kitchen because mom was
asleep already and it was 1 am
on a saturday in july
and it was hot and we were both braless and hoping
the single fan on the counter would circulate the air enough
to make us comfortable in the cottage that we called home
that didn't have air conditioning in the middle of the woods.

the three of us hadn't moved for three more hours,
instead spent all of that time talking about nothing
and everything the way sisters do
because sisters eventually end up saying all the words that have
to be said
but each time it sounds new even though it never is.

we're all different but the thing about sisters is
that other people always see you as the same.

we all eventually grew into having brown hair
even though i had been born a redhead
and she had been born blond
and she had been born the same shade of brunette
that still graced her scalp but was thinner than the rest of ours
and fit in an elastic pony tail comfortably
unlike mine, which broke those things immediately
and she, who cut hers all off in hopes
to cleanse herself and
keep herself from being weighed down.

For a long period of time, we have been told to conform to the different standards set for us by the society. We grew up in a system where having milk colored skin and lean, slender bodies is the only acceptable image of beauty. Several advertisements and individuals will try to tell you what you need to buy or do to improve yourself, and I’m writing this letter to say that you are superb; a creation of purpose.

In a world where violence, fear and hate continue to exist, it is essential for us to unify and persist in eradicating the barriers that have been placed before us. Regardless of our differences - our backgrounds, religions, ethnicity, political views, jobs, academic standing, and flaws or perfections – we all want the same thing in life: respect, love and success. We all want to be seen and esteemed for who we are but we must also know that a women’s success doesn’t equalize with another’s failure. It is important that we work forward in life hand in hand, rather than to step on others just to rise above everyone else. Know that there is a time, place and an opportunity for all of us to accomplish our dreams. Know that you are able to think for yourself – despite of what the world keeps telling you. I believe that women like you and me are capable of creating history every day. I believe in the power of inseparability, that we could push the boundaries and open other people’s minds to a better discourse if we collectively act to make it happen.

As we celebrate International Women’s Month, I encourage you to find the good in the women around you. Let yourself be inspired by their experiences setbacks and victories. By doing this, we not only strengthen our respect for one another, but we open doors for others and ourselves.

This is letter is for all the women who’s looking for their place in this world. Whoever you may be – a student, a businesswoman, a coach, a lawyer, a janitor, a musician, a scientist, a military, a teacher, a traveler, a doctor, an athlete, a poet, or a transwoman – know that you are smart, beautiful, inspirational and strong.

Thank you for being yourself.

Sincerely,
Pat

There's a few too many years on these old bones
Where my soul calls itself at home
As the lights are dimming inside of these eyes
Pulling the shades down on this house's life

With the shingles thinning on top of my head
What used to be dark is now more gray instead
With the bottom floor being aching feet
As this foundation struggles to steady me

Not to mention the pressure on these old pipes
To keep my hearts furnace burning both day and night
Which keeps the heat at a steady flow
Little wonder my hands and feet are always so cold

With my siding sagging more than it should
I'd pay for home improvements if it'd do any good
But in the meantime I'll stay bundled inside
This old house that I call my life