I texted you one time, to ask if your sister was home.
You said, "Yup."
I asked if you could ask her to text me, since I don't have her number.
You said, "Sure."
I said, "Thanks."
That was the entire conversation between us.
It felt weird, sending you a text.
And your replies made me feel even worse.
It was obvious that you didn't care about hearing from me.
Besides, I asked you to do one thing, and you did nothing.
I got no text from your sister, nor did I get her number.
It's nice to know how much you care about me, your friend.
And more than that, you couldn't even text back "Hi" or "Hello".
If anything, you could've given me an honest answer, but you didn't.
I guess I won't be texting you for anything anymore.
Bye.

Are we friends?
I might not be ready yet, but I still want to know.
Do you remember?
Because I can't stop thinking about what we had.
Was it real?
I don't know, all I can say, is that I thought it was.
Are you embarrassed?
Because I know you hid when you saw my grandma.
Are you ashamed?
You told me you knew what you had done was wrong.
Do you understand?
I hope you know that what you did has left me scarred.
Do you care?
Because it seems like you don't even know I exist now.
Am I crazy?
Because I fell for you, only for you to hurt me again.
Why didn't I listen?
My mom kept telling me that she didn't trust you.
Are we friends?

I'm over it.
I'm over feeling the need to ignore you all the time.
I'm over you acting as if we were never together.
I'm over feel like I need to avoid you all the time.
I'm over thinking about our relationship every day.
I'm over missing you and me being a couple.
I'm over wishing what happened was a dream.
I'm over you acting like I never existed all the time.
I'm over wishing that I could just be with you again.
I'm over wanting to text you every day when I'm home.
I'm over all of it.
But my heart might never be over it.

Dear......,

I'm writing this, because I really need some peace.
Also, because I feel I need to say this to you.
You hurt me.
You knew what you were doing was wrong, and still did it.
The way you worked so hard to gain back my trust.
The way you comforted me during the Homecoming Dance.
I thought you really loved me, that you really cared.
But it turns out I was wrong.
Again.
You left me on the most important day in a relationship.
The 1 year of two people, being together, and being happy.
You turned that day into nothing but sadness.
Showing no love for what that day meant for us, meaning me.
It pains me to know that you used my loneliness as a crutch.
A way to make yourself happy, while giving me false honesty.
And how you said that you still wanted to be my friend.
Why are you acting like I never existed, if I'm still a friend?
Why do you never even attempt to talk to me about it all?
Why can't you just check to see if I'm doing alright now?
Is it that hard for you to admit that you hurt me badly?
So hard that you can't even look at me, and act like I'm here?
Because, I'm still here, it's just that you can't care enough to see.

I can't get away from him today, no matter how hard I try.
Everywhere I go, he seems to be in the same place.
I go to a different area, and he suddenly appears.
I wish I was just imagining it, but he's really there.
As in; the hall, the library, the cafeteria, I can't escape him.
It seems like I can't feel better, without him appearing again.
I hate not wanting to see him, but it just hurts too much.
When I look at him, I don't see the same guy I loved.
All I see is someone who hurt, used, and betrayed my trust.
I wish I could stop worrying about him, but I can't.
And seeing him just makes me feel worse about everything.
All I know is, it's hard trying to forget about him.
Because I can't pretend that he's not here.
I keep seeing him everywhere.

It's hard to keep up with this feeling.
I still don't like to get up in the morning.
Not due to being tired, but being sad.
I may not see it in my dreams, but I see it.
There are reminders of him everywhere.
I can't make myself stop thinking of him.
And I can't deny that I still love him.
I may say that I can, but I can't.
I know what he did was wrong.
And I know that I can't forgive him easily.
I wish this whole year had be truthful.
I wish I could be happy when I think of it.
But all I can see now, are all the lies.
Making myself be open with him again.
No matter how hard I try, it still hurts.
Am I happy right now?
Can I say that I can be happy all day?
No, unfortunately, I can't say I am.
I'm depressed, and only happy off and on.
I'll be happy, when there's no question.
When I don't have to ask myself if I am.

Ever feel like something is going to go wrong?
Ever wish you didn't always feel the need to defend yourself?
Ever feel like everything you say is wrong?
Ever wish everyone would just stop yelling all the time?
Ever feel the need to run away from something?
Ever wish you could just turn your brain off for a minute?
Ever feel so full of panic for little to no reason?
Ever wish you could put exactly how you feel into words?
Well, those are just a few ways of describing how anxiety feels.
The truth is, there are many ways of having and dealing with it.
People can start to panic for no reason, or have multiple reasons.
It can come on suddenly, or it can be triggered by an event.
It can even happen based on something you hear from someone.
There's no telling where it comes from, but it comes from anywhere.
And, no matter what you may think, it comes in many different ways.
When someone says how they have anxiety, don't say they're wrong.
Just think how you would feel if they said your feelings were wrong.
Would you like it if they said that you weren't having anxiety?
No? I thought so, then don't treat them like they're faking it.
Don't tell them that what they're feeling isn't anxiety at all.
Who are you to say the way they're feeling, and tell them what it is?
If they feel anxiety differently than you do, then they just do.
There's no right way of having anxiety.
It's something that everyone struggles with, some more than others.
All we can do is be there for them, understand, and be supportive.
Don't tell others how they feel, let them tell you themselves.