I recall staying out
until the sun broke
over the foothills of
my upstate town,
at the end of a warm night
in the starlit summer.

I remember sneaking back into
the house on tip-toes,
sinking into my bed at
the time my dad
begun to wake for work.

Sometimes, I pine for that time
in teenage life.

I am only twenty-one, and
I breathe my own life
into my lungs
as I wonder where the past has gone.

I made a
Mind bending (time altering) attempt at telepathy.
I tried reaching out so that you think of me-
your New Yorker with a midwestern heart.
On my sleeve, an open wound for everyone to see.

Did my subconscious at least interrupt your sleep?

This is the feeling of a wild grass,
with needs gathered from morning dew,
a patch of soil, and from the juice of other plants' roots.
This is the feeling of a wild grass,
will live silently in the shadows of the real sprouts
of nature. What is my worth if the only heaven I'll reach
is just up to the soles of your feet?
What is my worth?

This is the feeling of a wild grass,
i will live with no worth,
i will die without saying a word.

I think if I think anymore, I will spontaneously combust

Why are you the only one that can make me laugh?

I call on to you when my vision is blurry and my heart is placed in the wrong hands.
I'm soaking up the California sun,

alone with my feet in the sand,

laying under a palm tree wishing I was back in the deadly cold,

can't feel my face and bones,

looking at Chicago's skyline with you.

All I want is to be loved
His hands burning like fire on my hips
Looking into his eyes and seeing only love

No hate
No prejudice

Love that will continue to burn
Throughout the years
Throughout the tears

Just me
Just him

Locked in a world of our own
The sun gleaming on the fresh snow
Covering the mountains with illusive diamonds

The beauty
The pain

An unrealistic fantasy
But hopefully, one day
I will know what it's like

To be loved
Forever and always

Cue the part where I
Start to question what we are
And I
Can't help but think that
Sometimes life has certain ways of
******* us over
We get so comfortable with
Someone and then
One day they just up and
Leave you sitting all alone wondering
What the hell went wrong?
You did everything you thought was right but
Obviously you ***** everything up so why
Should this be any different?

Everyone always leaves you and
You begin to wonder if it's you but
You think back on the patterns and
Every single time it's been a
Time in your life that just didn't seem right but
You thought you couldn't breathe without
Them, now your eyes are open to
The fact that you may have felt like you were drowning
A sea of loneliness and despair consuming you but
Reality hits you and
You're doing okay.
It hurts like hell and that's why
Sometimes people say loosing your best friend is
Tougher than loosing a lover but
You're surviving.
They replaced you and you've replaced them.  
Memories float around you and
The small things still haunt you

I guess this is my way of coping with
This since our conversations last less than a minute and
We haven't seen each other in months.
I know living 2 hours away was tough but
We always seemed to make it though and I
Just don't know you anymore and
My biggest fear is you
Telling secrets or using them to
Destroy me but you
Promised you'd never do that but then again you
Promised me a lot of things and here we are now.
I just wish we could talk it out
Without you turning into a monster.

I don't even know what happened
It was a gradual process and I saw it coming
I tried to stop it but it made things worse
So eventually I just let it run its course
Whether it was the experience or the boy
I will never quite know what
Tore you apart, stole you away.
To this day, I blame the boy but
I know that this isn't fair because
Things don't last forever so why
Did I expect this friendship too?

I just know some nights when I can't sleep I
Imagine every adventure we took and smile because
Even though sometimes I hate you I still
Thank you God for bringing you through and for
Teaching me to be a friend who
Never gives up on achieving things
I still pray we'll mend things but I guess
This is me saying
Even if we failed at this, I still believe
You were the greatest thing to happen to me

The anger relishes in my blood,
i'm heating up like
an exploding volcano.

You throw these sticks and stones
at my bones
pushing me further day by day.

You've got this gene
that I can't fix.
You're using all the wrong medicines.

How hard is it to listen to me?
I'm screaming, "You're hurting me."

The plates of these mountains
fall apart
with every tipsy step you take.
The man is trying to find
his worth in you,
the kids are screaming...
you're not awake.

You heart is a ticking time bomb.
You're using all the wrong medicine's.