I wish to extract this heart from my chest,
to remove the love but all keep the rest.
For I need this pain much more than my heart,
it reminds me that love rips you apart.
How it keeps you alive despite your cries,
awake and breathing, as part of you dies.

Ticking away the time in an effort most surreal,
he holds his heart within his hands waiting for it to feel.
There he sits awaiting as time runs all but out,
his heart now broken not from pain but lack of love throughout.

She looked so small when she slept.

The bed wasn't big by any means, I could've easily stretched myself across the entirety of it and she would still find a perfect spot to curl up next to me.

Her hair was funny.

I would wake to see traces of brownish blonde hair before anything else. It would tickle my nose as I breathed deeply, taking in her scent and letting it remind me that I'm awake.

So beautiful.

A feeling would go through me as I see her there, snuggled up against me. A warm heat that quickly spreads and turns into a dull ache. Sometimes it would pass. Sometimes I would forget it by pulling her close and breathing. She smelled like shade on a hot summer day.

Sometimes I couldn't handle the feeling, like having her was too much.

I worried about her. I worried about what she would give up, being with me, as well as whether or not she was happy. I worried so much.

When I held her, she felt so small, as if she would be lost by morning if I didn't keep hold through the night. So small, that one day I might lose her, and in a way lose myself.

I wondered if there is any reason for her to wake.

As long as I could, I would be that reason.

Forever.

i am the white noise of cicadas chirping
air conditioning chugging, a train on a track
but i don't want to be the sheep you count
i want to be the rising sun, the lawnmower,
the screeching birds that tear at your sheets
yelling wake up, wake up
we're running out of time

Smile brightly, don’t worry about me
I’m smiling like this right now
I won’t be able to forget, I’ll be
the only one who remembers us
I won’t forget you
so you can smile

Smile brightly, I’m just thankful
Because I have memories with you
I can hide them and take
them out when I’m alone
It will strengthen me
when I miss you

Only with my heart,
I steal you
Only with my heart,
I will see you
That’s enough for me so
don’t be hurt because of me
Just locking eyes with you
makes me shed tears

When time passes and my love grows
There will be times when
I resent you so it’s a relief
Because I will remember you being
affectionate and the days when you
laughed with me
So it’s good

Only with my heart,
I steal you
Only with my heart,
I will see you
That’s enough for me so
don’t hurt because of me
Just locking eyes with you
makes me shed tears

If we run into each other
like fate, please pass me by
like you don’t know me
Even though my heart will
cry like it has been torn into two
So I can see you for a short
moment while you pass by

Only with my heart,
I will want you
Only with my heart,
I will long for you
Don’t be sorry,
this is my life
Whether you love me or
feel sorry, I feel the same way