Death is such a simple thing
To have made living so complex
To grow around an absence
Is to change your shape completely.

I would have told you
About the way I wake up every night
About how some things
Just don't get better
How that is life
On life's terms
Healing doesn't make
The memories stop hurting
Healing make us
Stop hurting ourselves
That's all
The world will still hurt
But we could have laughed
At the brighter things
Together
Had you stuck around
Another day
We could have talked
At 2 am
If you'd have woken up
Just once more

Oh, what a sweet community
That was built for me
In your captivity
You said God loved me
As much as his son
Thats why he left me to die.

When I feel my ugliest
Aware of the softening
Straining and aching
Lines deepening
Changes from
Carrying little lives
I remember the skin horse
How beautifully real
I have become
As the little lives
Have loved me older
More alive

You forgot you were alive
Long before you died.

I watch you tend to the celery
Weeding gently, encouraging
Little leaves tenderly
"You're growing" I hear you say
This moment is enough
To justify the love I possess for you
If you can tend to the seeds
Dirtier than I could ever be
One day you may even love me
Again, like you did
When I was as new as your garden
If you had tended to me so gently
Would I be here?
Or did you need me wilted
Desperate enough
That I might stay forever
Beneath the dirt
With you

I keep coming home
To visit you
But you are never there
Oh old man
Where did you go?
I see your body in the chair
Your cup is still half full
But you're eyes see someone new
When I'm sitting
Where I used to
I introduce myself each time
But you ask again before I go
I keep coming by
Just to see you
But old man
You're never home