Miles away
Can you hear my heart break?  
I thought we had more time
Before you left
But in 9 days you will be gone
And I'll be here
The same smile
Only slightly broken
The same eyes
Just a little more dull
The same laugh
Only silent
I love you
The way the dark loves the light
I'll love you for eternity
Even when your gone
And my eyes carry bags from the nights I can't sleep
Knowing I'm not by your side
I'm gonna feel it in the crevice of my bones when you leave
The places you've kissed will mourn
The places you've been will void
And the places you go will prosper
But I'll be here for the years to come
I don't know of what the future holds for us
It's beyond my control
I wanna believe you will come back
And we'll start up where we left off
But that happens in fairy tales
And fairies aren't real
So my love
Tell me
Do you hear every tear that slides off my cheek?  
Do you feel the ache in my heart?  
And miles away
Can you hear my heart break?

Next time I hope you bite your tongue
To save you from making yourself look like a fool
Because I wasn't the one to drink my self stupid tonight
I wasn't the one to ignore my child's problem for an overpriced drink
No, I'm sorry can you hold
Your hands
Cause all my life
I was told never bite the hand that feeds
But the thing is that was never the case
You don't feed
Your hands are to busy
Sending messages that make no sense
Incoherent
To busy flicking a light to pollute the lungs
To busy cracking a can to poison your
Liver
No your hands  were too busy to feed
Because while I was alone hopeless and crying because a  illness in which you neglect
You were out drinking and celebrating
"Hey we made it to today, now let's poison ourselves more"
See your freshly polished fingernails
And heavy ice wrist
Weren't made for feeding
So I'll bite your hands
Because there always busy doing something that doesn't involve me
Your child
Your only daughter
I am the one who locks myself in my room
I am the one who cries and thinks
"I'm not enough, I'll never be enought"
While you drink
And you smoke
And to put it simply
While you make your insides rot faster
No your hands were to busy trying to care for yourself
Your lousy self
Now your hungover and those small sounds I make
Make you scream and shout
"Shut up, be quite"
I'm sorry I haven't ate all day to busy chasing thoughts that swarm in my head
"It's not my fault you don't eat"
Really, cause I see that Chinese two boxes, none for me
Yet here I am trying to eat
I'm sorry I'm a basic ******* human being
Who needs **** like shelter and food
Just to ******* live
And your to busy supporting bad habits to even
Provide basic **** for me
And to me
An alcoholic doesn't exist
At least not with parents
An alcoholic is a person who's love for alcohol stems far greater than the love for their child.

If you'd write your name and the word beloved
It'd be like two synonyms
Only when I wrote your name and beloved in conjunction
It's an oxymoron
Two opposites joined in harmony
Beloved and you
You and beloved
No
For your name is wretched
It's the venom that boils in my blood when I speak your name
It's like fire in an igloo
Every thing it touches ceases
You are black ink on cracked skin
It spreads until its covering every part of you, the parts I  so desperately tried to hide
You're name rings a fierce tone
And it's not bravery
Its cowardly
It all that's negative
And it all that rots and diminishes
You are a scourge
You are a plague infested blanket
a blanket I had not wished to be covered by
Your name means beloved
But the pain and the suffering you have granted me
Has changed that definition
It's a story that make me sob
Your a name that I despise
You have tricked and trotted
Taken and not given
You have yanked an advantage that was not yours to take
My body is numb in the places You've  abused
My lips ache with your name engraved on them
You are a needle and a thread
That sowed me silent
You, are not worthy of the name beloved.

When I was in 1st grade I learned 2+2=4
I liked to count on my fingers because I never made a mistake
then it got harder
12+6
I only have 10 fingers
So I stuck out my tongue
and counted my arms
But I couldn't pass 13
And 12+6=18
When I was in 2nd grade
I learned how to multiply
2x2=4
But it was hard
Because I couldn't use my hands
Or my tongue
Or my arms
When I was older
I learned how to love
Because I met you
And it was easy to add
Because everything added up to you
Then you threw in multiplication
And fighting and ignoring
It didn't make sense
So I wrote it on paper
To make it easier
But my numbers came out odd
When I had even numbers
So I went on with my odd numbers
But then you gave me division
So I carried the 7
and dropped the 5
Then I carried the weight of your words
And dropped the issues that troubled me
But my remainder never fell to 0
So I remain silent
Like my cries at 3 a.m
I remain imbalanced
Like the love we once shared
I remain broken
Like when I realized I only had 10 fingers

I don't remember waking up
I just remember holding you...