the night is swallowing me whole,
choking me down,
feeling my persistent tickle in the back of its throat
as i slip down the slide of stars into a sloppy, cold pit of deep violet
there are countless moons to choose from, and i'm told to take my pick
the one i choose is small and misshapen
something about it makes me feel at home

pools of starlight drench my feet and i fade into a gaseous state
my atoms mash into those of the atmosphere and the night finally releases me
the moon i have chosen for the night is smiling at me
a thank you shines on his lips,
and we both know we have each other to thank for our newfound freedom

the morning is coming too quickly
i'm not yet prepared for the goodbyes of my new light
i know he's just a liar, and the illumination he shares with me is recycled and stolen
but i fall in love so easily with the acts of deceit performed to win my approval

The cement outside my door becomes my home as I chain smoke
And every line along my skin is from the nicotine I choke
My dress is torn while my story is written
The mosquitoes outside have every inch of me bitten

My beer's being sipped as I stare at the moon
He shouldn't be out yet, he's shining too soon
But I won't complain now, I'll just stare at the light
Blinding myself again with the beauty of night

As I'm slurped up by space and reflected by blue
Shining out with the night in a purplish hue
I give off a fake smile to resemble the stone
That lights up the night sky as its presence is shown

The bloodied marble is
where the youth was sold.
I sit and wobble on
a mind of gold.

Burn the end
and pass me a thought.
Pale smoke differs
from state to state.
Top forty hits;
songs or cigarettes.
What was your dream
but an isle of regret.

Your tears were insects
burrowing into your cheeks.
Red painted hands
and yellow stained teeth.
I could've remembered
that I had sworn.
I never found your death
a place to mourn.

I know the horror
how you can't undress
without feeling like
a ******* mess.

There's got to be something
more than this,
just write until
your thoughts aren't as heavy.

Everyone glances
but nobody reads:
Pour your emotions
into a glass that
nobody drinks.

There's got to be something
more than
vulnerable words in vain:
a medicine
that increases the pain.

I know the horror
how you can't reveal
the fullest extent
of how you feel.

There has to be something
more than a glance,
to help you feel heard;
to validate your world.

Just learn to write
and let it all go,
even if nobody notices
or nobody knows.

Because there is something
more than this.

Asked to be safe, to be calm,
with the suction-pores of each palm.
Lips in twist with skin so sour,
drawing blood to drown a flower.
Pulling back, to study faces,
shaking out of sure embraces,
her heels kicked out
and her face soon followed,
and what she left,
I chewed and swallowed.