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Nov 2017 · 385
Our Song
Madison Nov 2017
My best songs were about you;
full of pure honesty and hopeless desperation.
They were written in minor keys
on lonesome days when I needed you most.

And I still sing your name in my sleep –
a lilted melody that cuts deep
and wakes me from a nightmare that doesn’t end
when my eyes open to the empty space you left in my bed.

With sleepless eyes I drive until the sunrise
and the radio is playing our song.
It makes my heart heavy and my hands numb
but I still scream along at the top of my lungs.
completed version of an untitled poem from 2016.
Jun 2017 · 405
Madison Jun 2017
You're not worth my words
but I still hope you hear them
and I hope you feel them, too.
I still wear your sweater
with holes in the right sleeve;
I didn't think you'd leave
so soon.
Jun 2017 · 250
Madison Jun 2017
I don't care what you know,
I care what you feel
and if everything in your head is real.
Jun 2017 · 687
midnight madness
Madison Jun 2017

        ­                          lost in midnight madness
                                         I can hear the clock
                                                  tick tock
                         A battle against the voice in my head

           "Don't go there”
                                                                ­           “But it’s time”

           “You’ll be fine”
                                     ­                                     “Lose your mind”

                                 A breakdown of a different kind
                                    an insomniac with no reason
                                                    or rhyme

            “You’ll be fine”

                             I’ll only sleep when the sun wakes up

Oct 2016 · 258
Madison Oct 2016
The moon lost her glow
when autumn turned to winter
and winter turned to cold.
Oct 2016 · 399
Madison Oct 2016
I remember when you looked at me;
your eyes weren't brown
but they weren't green.

We were in the In-Between.

I loved you, but
I didn't want you then;
I regret all my bad decisions.
Oct 2016 · 324
c'est la vie
Madison Oct 2016
C'est la vie
and I feel free,
but I don't feel alive.
The world spins
and I'm standing still,
but I don't want to try.
Sep 2016 · 1.1k
Soul Mates: a Curriculum
Madison Sep 2016
There's poetry in symmetry;
you're the other half of me.
There's something about chemistry;
chemicals running through our bodies.
We can't forget history;
the war between our hearts of two.
I can't think of anything
to keep myself away from you.
Sep 2016 · 200
After Hours
Madison Sep 2016
I don't care where we go.

I've finished my drink;
You're thinking about
what's underneath my clothes.

So take me home,
and you can stay in my bed
until the moon becomes the sun instead.

Please be gone in the morning.
Aug 2016 · 250
Madison Aug 2016
I don't want your pills,
but yes I want to die.
Did you write that down?

My leg is shaking,
maybe you should write that down.

No, I haven't slept.
No not for a few days now.
Write that down.

Bipolar? Depressed?
You're not sure?

Write that down
and let me know later.
Mar 2016 · 326
Madison Mar 2016
shaking feet,
fist fulls of sheet,
fill me until
I feel complete.
Mar 2016 · 300
Madison Mar 2016
You are second-hand store clothes;
a night alone in a strangers home.
I wish for more familiar things.
Feb 2016 · 265
holy land
Madison Feb 2016
He stayed in my bed when I told him to leave
and he would not listen.
He grabbed the hair I should have cut
and his fingers felt like thinning shears.
He kissed the lips I wished were poison
but he did not wither (only I did, under my now filthy white sheets).
He undressed me, taking off the shirt I borrowed from my best friend,
and did not understand why I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
He stayed in my bed when I asked him to leave, again,
and he would not listen.
His hands trespassed on holy land.
Madison Feb 2016
My body is mine.
This skin will be new
in seven years,
and it will be skin you haven't touched.

I thought I was three years closer
to revival,
but you have struck seven more
on the board I wish didn't have a tally.

My body is mine,
but now it's yours, too.
You have a piece of me I will never get back.
So does he.
Feb 2016 · 777
Madison Feb 2016
my best songs were about you
full of pure honesty and hopeless desperation
they were written in minor keys
on lonesome days when I needed you most
Feb 2015 · 428
every boy I've ever loved
Madison Feb 2015
As children it was innocent
Not much older now, but I still
Don't want to let go because I can't forget to
Remember the years that felt

Thinking his car was some symbol of freedom was such a
Youthful mistake; he was older and
Let me drive him crazy,
Even though he let me go
Right before we crashed.

Called me after the sun came up and
Held my hand as we
Rode in his truck.
I can still remember how he moved his first time.
Saturday night or Sunday morning, who knows,
Time blurred when I looked directly
Into his face.
Always closely watching me;
Never looking away.

Out of my
Every time I'd hear that ring but
Phone calls could never
Hold us together

Bottles of pills,
OCD filled.
Better yesterday,
Better tomorrow.
You never understood his kind of crazy.

Needless to say,
I can't get over the way you
**** me.
Jan 2015 · 577
Five Months til Freedom
Madison Jan 2015
I can not tell if I feel trapped,
or just lonely.
I walk through halls
filled with heads
emptier than mine.
I often loathe
waking up in the morning;
I know the day will be miserable.
Five months
is too long to just pass time;
I don't want to waste more of mine.
I can't relate to anyone,
at least not anymore.
I haven't connected
with these small-minded,
small-town people
for the past seventeen years.

I need to get out of here.
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
3 am at the frat
Madison Jan 2015
the bottles have all been emptied
my friends are going home with strangers
drunken boys are making lonely eyes
begging me to follow suit

even in my dazed stupor
all I can see is you

I'm not ready to go
I don't want to be alone
I've been here before
so I'll ask again

when the night comes to an end,
is there room for me in your bed?
you're all I'll know the morning after
Jun 2014 · 299
11:55 pm
Madison Jun 2014
He brushed the back of his hand across my face
and his fingers slipped through my hair

He leaned in so closely I could hear his every breath

Our lips met and our hands laid rest
around each other's necks

And I could feel every bone in my body begin to tremble

But I refused to break into the hands of a boy
who would bury me without a funeral
Apr 2014 · 340
Madison Apr 2014
He touched you on every inch of your skin,
he kissed you hard enough to make your head spin,
but it meant nothing

You tried your hardest not to fall for it but you did,
he won't call back unless he wants to use you again,
you mean nothing

That's what you get when you let people in,
there's never any love in a one night stand,
they mean *nothing
Madison Jan 2014
I contemplated driving to your house and crashing through the window on your front lawn, the one that we gazed through while we were tangled up in your sheets and thinking about how insignificant we were in such a complex world

I dialed your number and deleted the digits over and over and over again when all I wanted was to gently press call and scream profanities at you at the top of my lungs despite the fact I knew you wouldn't have picked up your end of the line
I should’ve just left a voice mail

I wanted to claw through your skin and break your bones and tear your heart out of your rib cage so you would have just a minuscule understanding of how it feels to be without you
I can’t let go, I hate you, I love you, please call me, lets never speak again

It was never my choice to love you
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
Madison Jan 2014
Last night,
I slept alone
wrapped up in
the freezing cold;
your arms
weren't much warmer
Dec 2013 · 590
Madison Dec 2013
I can never simply scratch the surface
and let things be;
I need to tear open the wound
and dive deep into the veins
To discover why the blood flows
so quickly.
I over analyze
the simplest complexities.
Dec 2013 · 370
let go
Madison Dec 2013
we've all got bitter hearts
that won't let go
of what our shaking hands
are holding on to
let it go
Oct 2013 · 397
Loose Change
Madison Oct 2013
I am penniless
without a cent to spare
I can't afford
to lose my mind again

I've spent too long
saving myself
Sep 2013 · 578
Seventy-Two Percent
Madison Sep 2013
They say that humans are seventy-two percent water.

If that's the case,
I'd like to dive into the top of your head
down to your toes
and drown in every possible part of you.

All seventy-two percent.
Aug 2013 · 510
Madison Aug 2013
I thought I could erase you;
I thought I could smoke you out of my lungs
and drink you out of my memory.
But you were at the bottom
of every box of ciagrettes,
and you were the cause
of all the drunken tears
I had to wipe away with my sleeves.
Jul 2013 · 1.6k
Sea Legs
Madison Jul 2013
I thought I was sinking,
I dreamt in depths of dark blue,
rudely awoken night upon night
gasping for air.

When I opened my eyes,
I wasn't sinking,
instead I was washing up with the waves,
coughing up bitter salt water on my journey back ashore.

My sea legs are becoming steady.
I'm starting to feel okay again.
Jul 2013 · 526
Nothing Left To Lose
Madison Jul 2013
Leave me how you found me
broken and bruised
After all that's happened
I have nothing left to lose
Jul 2013 · 538
Sweet Sixteen
Madison Jul 2013
"Sweet sixteen and never been kissed"
but I've been kissed
Hell, I've been *******
and ******* over
It took me less than sixteen years
to realize that all people know how to do
is walk all over you
Like a sidewalk on a city street
with all the cracks that people told you
would break your mother's back

Sixteen isn't so sweet
Jul 2013 · 517
half-hearted apologies
Madison Jul 2013
all you could give me
was a half-hearted,
"I'm sorry"
but it still meant more
than all the times you brushed me off
like the ashes of cigarettes
you litter all over the street
I was waiting
for you to tell me you still loved me,
but that hope burnt out
with the lighter you threw away
last week
Jul 2013 · 476
Madison Jul 2013
I am always in love
whether it is with you
or my sadness
Both keep me up at night
wide awake
and alone
Jul 2013 · 545
Madison Jul 2013
my head hurts
my heart hurts
everything ******* hurts
and there's
at all
poetic about it
Jun 2013 · 692
Madison Jun 2013
I was drowning
in a sea of things
I never wished to be
but became
Jun 2013 · 2.5k
Green Jeep
Madison Jun 2013
cruising in a green Jeep,
windows down,
Margaritaville blasting in the summer time
he placed his hand on my thigh
sweetly, but in a way that said
"you're mine"
Madison Jun 2013
You kissed me on my mouth
and I tasted like *****
with a coca-cola chaser

I was a stumbling mess
wasted and confused
about everything but you

I tried to lay in the grass
but you took me and
I laid safe in your arms instead

Jun 2013 · 826
ironic (10w)
Madison Jun 2013
isn't it ironic
that hearts are heaviest
when they're empty?
Jun 2013 · 590
Marlboro Reds
Madison Jun 2013
I smoke Marlboro Reds
because the smell reminds me of my father

"Cowboy Killers", they call them

I'm no cowboy,
but I sure hope they'll **** me anyway

Jun 2013 · 274
you (10w)
Madison Jun 2013
I have always
only wanted
what i could never

Jun 2013 · 423
love is war
Madison Jun 2013
you recant your love
I retreat from the war zone
I've lost this battle

Jun 2013 · 648
Melancholy Melodies
Madison Jun 2013
I tried to play you a song
but my fingers melted over the keys
What was meant to be a beautiful melody
Instead sounded like
the melancholy
That is trapped inside of me

May 2013 · 1.6k
To Love You Again
Madison May 2013
We were lovers,
now strangers
that share an awkward glance
You know my body
still shivers
at the touch of your hand
And it's been
over a year
since we've been more than friends
But I would love
to love you

May 2013 · 805
missing puzzle piece
Madison May 2013
Your kiss is a puzzle
that I have yet to solve
But you've been gone so long
and I've lost all the pieces

May 2013 · 370
Madison May 2013
My heart is desperate
for something;
for someone
I want to feel love,
be in it;
bask in it
But once I have a hold of it,
I let go
It's too much
or not enough.

May 2013 · 378
Second Chance
Madison May 2013
If only we could go back to the start;
retrace our every step
I would open my heart,
cut loose every stitch
that attempted to mend it back together
I am willing to let you wound me again

May 2013 · 563
Madison May 2013
You ran your fingers through my hair;
now it's all in knots
Like the feeling in my stomach
when you told me that
You were better off
without me

May 2013 · 860
Madison May 2013
I have a tendency
to destroy my surroundings,
Taking apart the pieces
of a perfectly put together puzzle,
Or knocking down
the sturdiest skyscraper,
Or painfully tearing away
every piece of your heart.

May 2013 · 1.3k
Madison May 2013
I'll chase you relentlessly
to the ends of the earth
like the moon chases the sun

Because every now and then,
there is an eclipse
where past lovers meet

And when the sun and moon
finally kiss,
you'll be mine again

May 2013 · 1.6k
Madison May 2013
Cigarettes are enticing
when they are inhaled between
the lips of a beautiful boy
with a perfectly crooked smile
and mysterious eyes.

But his smile is stained
with traces of nicotine,
and the puzzle in his eyes
is impossible to solve.

And when you kiss him,
you can taste the stale smoke
lingering on his breath;
the stale smoke that has filled his lungs
and left them black and tarred.

He says they’re nice
when you’re feeling numb.

So you take a drag
in hopes of filling your lungs;
filling your emptiness.
But it leaves you black and tarred
all the same.


— The End —