i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

You are like a viral infection
That just won't go away
My heart heaves
Like there's a bird in my ribcage
It's soaring upwards aiming to release through my throat
Forcing me to stifle the words that want to escape
I'm falling in the dark
But does it matter if I'm blind?
You're no good for me
I can feel myself fall
From God's graces
With you I am alight and it doesn't hurt
But when you're not there
I wash myself several times
The smell of guilt seeps from my pores
And I know that you're not mine
The skin which you worshipped
Burns in shame
I can feel my heart ready to burst
Out of pain
But mostly fear
Of the wrath of karma
That will surely lick the heels of my fate
The curse of a woman whose been defamed
If this is the nature of mankind
To crave the poison for ones own destruction
Then oh how I wish, you truly were poison

In this story
I call you the cursed verses
Of where I learnt wicked things
And the way you corrupted my body
How you came hungrily
Eager for velvet skin
How the silk slipped off my shoulders
And hesitated at my hips
The way my breath hitched
And you plaited our fingers
Like you'd never let go
But you left me standing on the porch
Chest open wide
Swinging from its hinges
My epilogue tells of how
My spine still won't remember its wings
No matter how many times my knees kissed the pavement

Sometimes I just need a break
A break from this crazy life
Wanting to go to somewhere peaceful
With nature all around
Instead of flashy city lights.
Is that too much to ask for?
With all that’s going on,
Each day gets overwhelming and frustrating.
Told to do things I'm not interested in
Yet I still do it for them.
Wherever I go,
All eyes are on me.
Always expected to do my best
Even when sometimes I can’t.
I always ask for forgiveness
And think I’m never good enough.
With all that’s going on,
All I need is just a break.
A break from this crazy life

I often wonder,
as I gaze at the sky,
if all those stars
that shine so bright,
are really just hearts,
captured by the moon
in the dead of night.

my mind is on repeat my mind lingers on the though of you every second of the day. from the curve of your lips that arise when you silently hurt me to the day you crushed everything i loved, my mind is on repeat.

my mind is on repeat. a move-like trance appearing on every corner of my brain. the memories remind me with its colourful details and unhappy endings that we were once lively. we were the definition of wild, untamed laughter in the early sunrise hours until the night swallowed us whole. i tried to pull down the stars and the moon like they were carnival balloons just to impress you. i miss the way i impressed you.
when i'm alone in my bed i search the corners and pillows for a comforting word of two you may have led behind when you decided to leave.

my mind is on repeat. i think about the day my heartbeat with align back up with yours. between bottle after bottle that i drown myself in i look for a concept of you; the charming smile, the dependent tear, the shifted gaze. i look to remember and remember so i don't forget, but by the time i'll see you i will not smile at our memories anymore. instead, they will float away like happy little clouds, and for the first time i will get a solid nights sleep without dreaming that you somehow still care. somehow, i learn in these dreams that i still care.

my mind is on repeat. i hope someday i will be better. i am drenched in golden sunlight and happiness until i think of you. your presence is a clenched fist around my already gaping neck and you resist to aim for the ****. your words shot like daggers and my shaky hands were no math. your resonating irritation makes it hard to breathe in the stillness of the night and for a second i could feel my heart skip a beat.

my mind is on repeat. i don't beg for answers, i don't allow my mind to fade away on those thoughts. i look forward and take big, long strides- i hold dear what was taught to me. i feel a tear well up in my eye, as my foot takes that liberating first step.

-it will always be repeating

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