You darkness is like symmetry, with its perfect lines and unchangeable parallels.
You eyes which enchant me, like the ocean after a man has drowned at sea.
your soul plays a symphony which vibrates throughout my entire being,
leaving no space, no room to breathe – only a twilight filled melody that
escapes through the small gap of your bruised lips and into the very darkest
part of my being. Into a heavy silence dripping with blood, with regret that
lay only inside of me. A mournful mess of veins and words left unsaid, what
goes around, must come around. Your darkness is like symmetry.  
You, the black swan, are too beautiful to bear. Too perfect to swim in such filthy lakes.

the fragility which you encompass is much too rough for my black and blue hands to grasp.

i try to treat you as kindly as i can. try to fill up the spots inside you where others should have left their love but forgot that they had any, and who they could've given it to. i try to treat you as wisely as i can, so you won't grow up wondering what love is, and if it's real or not. so that you aren't sitting alone at a bus stop at 2am trying to come home from work to an empty apartment. i try to treat you as gently as i can, so that when you feel my fingertips against your skin, you can forget his. i try to erase the bad and fill you up with so much love and care that the past won't matter anymore. i try, but it's not good enough. i'm sorry. i'll try harder.

And here in this windless hole, I sit and wonder where I had left that which mattered most to me under the starlit fields of Montreal. I crave it and yet wish to God that I had never been the man who held you close to me. Everything I had in my arms in the parking lot outside of that hotel dash turned dash residence. A messy room and a crowded cafeteria. A hotel dash turned dash residence dash turning dash memory. And here in this wonderless *******, in this airtight cabin of past fantasy’s design, the rent keeps piling up and oh the dishes are due. Half-finished paperback classics flapjacked on top of each other in this white shirt no sweat world with the sleeves rolled up. This pill form city with all the charm and magic of an after dinner mint. Take a walk with me, let me tell you about this dream I had.
It had wine
and white sheets and tables.
Paintings that I knew
but did not recognise,
gasping under the grip
of yellowing wallpaper with pink flowers.
It was hell,
hell I tell you.
waking up with fever thinking I was portuguese and that there were three of me
Remembering when you sat me down,
and told me who I was in all of
two paragraphs- underline this underline that.
Black and red LEDs in full contrast of the room turning real again.
All I remember is you.

I feel a winter morning breeze,                                                       
se­nding the smell of percolating coffee and the buttery toast 
from the street vendors.

The cold wind hit my face

One.

Two..

Three…

I can no longer see,

I can no longer smell,

I can no longer hear,

But I feel tears in my eyes,

Then I fasten my steps,

Then I stop.

I stop in the middle of the street,
to look at this car that had a lonely look to it.

Are you lonely,
standing still alone at the empty parking lot
on a brutally cold day

Are you lonely
waiting for your man,
taking you to the road,

And you,
On a excursion to the world.


Why are you still here standing still,
like I am still standing still here,
far from my home,
alone,
living in this lonely, lonely world,
where everything is crammed by the influx of people
from all over the world,
hit, squeeze and hurt someone to survive,
in this congested island.

Why are you here standing still
And why am I here standing still

Yet,
gusty wind hits and hits and hits
hard, hardER and HARDER,
                                                         ­      
But I no more feel the cold,
I no more feel my body paralyzed,
and I,
no more,
I no more feel my eyes pouring the water out.

But I feel my heart lurching.
And my heart aches,                                                           ­           
whole day,
till the sun finally goes down.