i'm sad,
and although this doesn't concern you in the slightest,
i feel as though you should know.

i'm not crying. i'm not shaking.

that's not what sadness is about, is it?
crying, panic attacks, running mascara...
i don't know,
and neither do you.

i'm not going to say i still see your imprint in my mattress,
because despite the physical impossibilities,
you rarely ever ate.

i'm also not going to say these sheets still have your scent,
because i've washed them since then.

i know there's no hole in my heart,
and i know my soul is still present,
but they both seem so figurative as of now.

i don't know what's wrong with me!
loving you still... after all this time.
he hates me for it, you know.

your name slipped from my lips
(even though they were coated in his spit.)

i remember the slap he gave me.

i remember the way you held my hand.

i remember the first time you said you loved me.

and, ****, do i remember the day you left me,
without even the most minuscule chance
of utter regret
on your mind.

Sometimes people change
Sometimes for the better
Sometimes for the worst
But sometimes you don't want that person to change
You love that person exactly how they are
Pure, admirable, honest, and loving
That person seems so perfect
And then one day it starts
The fall from what seemed to be a beautiful place
Falling faster and faster every second
Hitting jagged rocks, overhangs and falling from cliff to cliff
And then you're left with somebody you don't know
They look like her
But is nowhere close to what she was
What pushed her off this cliff?

come on
let's leave this town behind
slip away into the night
we'll catch the first train
to anywhere
or at least
to the end of the line
let's leave all the traces
all the ghosts
of who we were
behind
our bags on our shoulders
an adventure
late night diners
neon signs
loving ruthlessly and
not asking for forgiveness
let's question authority
question ourselves
question the universe
our minds in the clouds
searching for all the anwsers
we're young souls;
hungry,
innocent,
magic,
and the dark sky is calling
our names