Sometimes I wonder
Why me?
Is it because I'm not pretty
enough?
Is it because at the toughest times
I don't know how to be tough?
Or what about my personality?
Am I too tense?
A little too closed?
Or is it that you want me to let loose
and be open a little more?
But how?
When the closest people to me shot me right in the core...

Why me?
Is it because I'm not the girl I
used to be?
The little baddie with a drunky
as a daddy?

Pause ...

The person who I became,
because of all the shame and the mind games
But who's to blame?
Myself ..
I blame myself for being such a fool,
but I never thought I was too cool for school
Book smart and street smart with the slightest passion for a pretty piece of art...

Why me?
Boys always dub me,
now they writing letters that they love me... NOT
Seems like I'm all I got..
Since the guys in my past had another on the side
Said I was their only,
but you know everybody lies
Why?
They always leave me in the dirt
and really think they cool and don't care that I'm hurt ..

Why me?
Everybody fake
Running round the world being sneaky
like the snakes
Can't trust too many,
Being friends with lanes you wouldn't wanna trust any ...

Why me?
Seems like I'm never happy like I used to be
No one understands the pain that's deep inside of me
Misunderstood...
Got a smile in my face but there's no reason why I should..

Why me?

Him and her..
They're like peanut butter and jelly
And he shows her off on his arm like perfume because deep down he knows he's smelly

But no.. I can't write things like that
'Cause deep down i am happy that she's happy

So hey sweetheart, can i call you at sunrise,
Wake you up for one last time?
Before i see you again in the far future,
Dressed in white

Someday soon i'll forget
How you looked in that dress
And the way he spun you around and around.. (i don't know if this bit actually happened because i tried to look away a lot but it probably did lol!)

And maybe you'll read this poem,
Hear my song.. Someday soon
And find that letter left at Prom
Instead of my cinderella shoes..
Yeah someday i might actually stop crying, locked inside my own tower
Wishing i was dying
But in reality wanting to grow
And glow like your favourite flower

... Yeah someday soon, i'll send flowers
But addressed to 'him&her;'
So they could be yours, not ours..

Oh friends and poets
I don't know how to end this
But like how i end most friendships,
I'll say the old 'Cathy classic'


i'm so in love with you
With him or without him.

I'd send you poetry
I'd give you all of me
I'd love you gratefully
I'd buy you err.. A mercedes
I'd sing you m-
Gah
This
Poem
Should've
Ended
By
Now..

(So where do we go from here?)

I don't know why you're so painful to me.
Breaking me down,
every time you come and go.
I'm regret to you,
a sore spot on your heart.
You only see your past when you look at me,
A reflection of the destruction your leaving caused.
Ultimate ruin in your wake.
I can never shake these shoes,
Worn Maryjanes of a girl who doesn't know how to stop loving you.
I reach for you and you pull away,
So I stopped wishing,
Learning that it never has been about me.
You called today,
6 years of absence leaving me hollow.
I don't want it,
This time I just can't.
I don't know why you're always so painful to me,
Or how I can be so forgettable.