and I don't want to
but I let you anyway
and I don't want to
but I beg for our lives
together
and I don't want to
and all I do is be with you
and I love you
but our love is all over the place
and I love it
but I hate this pressure in my chest
and I don't want to
but I need to get away
and I don't want to
but you don't even know you're doing this to me
and I don't want to blame you
but this madness, these voices
keep renting my brain
and I don't want to
but I've been so messed already
that this is not helping
and I don't want to
but-

It’s the kind of sadness where your rib cage
Contorts
And twists and
Snaps.

Depression doesn’t float through my veins
It crawls through my bones, with dagger hands
And winding movements.

I cannot breathe.

And yet there was nothing taken from me.

Tend to me
Like a thirsty garden once forgotten
Sing to me
Like a crying infant, pure and innocent
Hug me
Like an old friend years after
Look at me
Like an abstract painting, more complex with each glance
Touch me
Like the the cold steel strings of your guitar
Love me
Like you did before

Meaningless?
it was only my hair that strangled the fabled tower.
You demanded my soul,
and what you called a mans meal
was a monstrous ordeal,
I die every day,
since that day,
the day I bled.