We chased a feeling
not a reality

We both wanted someone
So desperately
that we found each other

Even though no part of
us
worked

Our pieces didn’t fit together
so we pressed and jammed them
until they were stuck
and stayed that way
Until
we broke

-red flags

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I understand you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could see
I love you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could feel
Never knew what it felt like
I just assumed the mind games and the conjoined pain
Was something like it

If it hurts its passion
We've all played that game
But we know the ending
Yes, the ending
Stays the same
No matter how many times
I replay it in my brain
I realized it wasn't ok