We sat on the swing
and it was magic
because for that moment
my pain floated away
on top of those perfect
butterfly wings and into
the mid-day sun and as
it died I remember
that it was the second
most beautiful thing
I had seen on that
July day because as
remarkable as my sadness
dying in front of my
crimson eyes was I remember
looking at you and
knowing-not thinking-
that these years of walking
through that devils flames
would, in the end,
lead me to
you.
A muse.
All of this is true.

If I ever think I am not loved or just felt worthless,
all I have to do is think of
    someone - a friend or family
        who truly cares, and then everything
   comes in perspective.

© Pax

Anxiety.

It's human nature, you say.
It's normal, you say.
Everyone has it, you say.
Get over it, you say.

But you don't listen.
You don't hear it screaming at me at night.
You don't feel my chest exploding throughout the day.
You don't see the tears in my eyes from the constant torture.
You don't know.

My darkest demon is a whispering ache & pain that something is wrong.
That I'm going to die.
& one day I will.

She was beautiful, you'll say.
She was too young, you'll say.
No one even knew she was suffering, you'll say.

So listen. Listen close. Not everyone fights a demon that is easy to see--easy to understand. Don't judge another person's fears, because they aren't irrational; they matter. It's real. & it's alive.

The sun kissed day
Flows over our life.
And we prepare again
For daze of the night.

The gloom of the clouds
Surrounds our sky.
Gift of snow flakes
Or just another lie?

Brunette across the table,
Forms whirlwind with her wine
Her touch of infidelity,
Gives evening its shine.

Friends circle the light,
Creating little smoke ring.
They defeat the cold
With laughter and drink