she has the word free
written on her hand
holds it up to the glass
i instinctively reach down place my hand
over hers
whisper that i wish i was
but even that small device of the heart
that small giving by her true soft soul
helps me sustain
through the glass i can almost feel
the soft warmth of her hand
smell her sweet perfume
hear her voice
telling me not to weep
for these things iv lost
that she will love me always
and i will never be alone

a waiting room
the rain outside the single small window
gives aspects to the room of comfort
a woman sits next to me
her phone makes water droplet sounds
as she taps gently on its screen
office sounds and smells

the room has pieces of home to decorate
like the painting of country road
its summer feel meant to warm the room
makes me think of childhood
the vase with plastic flowers
and magazines scattered on the meek coffee table

the steady office noises are interrupted by a womans strident voice
her words obscured but her angry intent clear
the waiting rooms occupants all turn to look at
the closed door
then return to the task at hand
of trying to play a good waiting game
of glancing at each other

waiting
waiting
so polite and proper we wait
for this doctors quick words
soon enough to head home
with prescriptions in hand
with answers in heart

romancer
candlelight dinner for two
on the beach in moonlight
a single rose wrapped in lace
with a golden thread woven into it
as a symbol of loves bond....
i write beautiful sonnets for you
craft poems from my hearts beating living love
stir images of transient beauties that reflect true loves tender kiss
lovely words and images pour from my pen like sweet wine
that is for you alone my love to drink
speak fluently of your graceful sweet presence like a love song neverending
i could take a lifetime of words as a writer
distill them down to perfection of expression
and still thouse words could not say
any more than i truly deeply frantically wonderfully insanely love you

I am so tired
it seeps out my eyes
turns my bones to turmoil and grief
weariness wears me like a suit
adorns my movement like chains
dragging my thoughts out by the hours
days weeks
there is no laughter here in the silent room
of my sleepless night
there is only the ghostly glow of the television
its utterance soft-spoken lie
"sleep my friend" it taunts me
"dream as a child would
carefree and filled with smiles"
but my restless eyes wander the cracks
in the ceiling
my weary thoughts grind over the same
same same same things over and over
I am so tired
why can I not sleep

the leaves turn as they fall
twisting on the breeze in a
dance of winters hand on my world
hurry along the path
each footfall scattering the leaves with a
dry rasping sound

winter cold the air harshly grasps at me
as landscape spread in brilliant white snowfall
makes a trial of this inevitable trek in morning light
my books and papers heavy if only in a worrying mind
scrawled there the first words of poetic heart
ill defined the weight of the matter at hand  
joyful poems of a true beauty lover
and my desire for her affections
this itself is the rub
winters hand
cannot write a warm thought

now all these years and poems later
my eyes open
my heart hearing
this new winters day fades into view
and still i struggle to cross the snowbound landscape
with the weight of a thousand words
with the self deception of a young heart believing
the promise of warm loves where hope springs eternal

the leaves turn
dance of winters hand on my world

so easy to believe
so easy to write it all off as illusion
so easy to bury head in the sand
and wish it all away
but that's the tragic tale

i was a young man
so full of strife and never wondered why
knowing the hammer strike would solve
never looked to see beyond what my fists could do
after all i would live forever
and i knew all the answers had all the secrets
all the summer bright day
the world was mine
and i breathed easy never considering
but time changes everything

knowin' is the key
seeing is believing
and you cant deny what is in your hand
fistful of angers or the open heart of wanting
wanting a better life
wanting a better world
now i'm an old man
and my hand isn't a fist anymore
cause the hard lesson learned
cause the hard road traveled

i remain undivided from you.

the narrow broken day begins
wth my head
in the mist of that yesterday
the foot is ready to dance but the song
is slow to capturte the feelin
and i drift off into a thougtht


i can feel the proud peice comin
and i want to stand as they allways have
true and sure
but as i rise to the breaking
i hear you calling to me
that you need to be saved from yourself
please baby come quick..come quick....

i dont need to stand there to be true and sure
i dont need a song to tell me that i am a good man
and i have earned my place
i have you in my arms
and that is the only home i will ever need
that is the only place i need stand
your my love
your everything to me

her dark eye deflected
the fan ceases it mechanical blur
slowly grinding to a halt
and the air of the room breaths of its own
it breaths her day old sweat that is deeply ****** and
it defiles you as you slake your thirst with its filthy thought feel
remembering how she tasted as you had her the night before
but the room is oil and burnt tastes
old fires of longing never capitulated
her sweat is cold as she shuts her legs this time
denied a second adventure into her tangled eyes
you pick a spot of carpet and wait

as she sits by the silent sealed window
watching the rain engulfed street
for signatures of approaching quick footsteps
lover who bears with them the tightly wrapped balloons
she waits with a spoon gripped with brutal tightness in one hand

her lips twitch over unspoken phrases
but some linger loud enough
to endure the air and your ear catches them
darkness is a dead souls delight
she has carried the corpses of both
her soul and conscience for years
she revels in their decaying weight
she bemoans their dead hand cold fingers
on her purse strings
you can perceive them sitting by her side
grinning with absent humours

her fingers tapping the frail glass of the window
one is compelled to wonder but fails to ask aloud
when at long last he returns breathlessly
bearing the seeds of her bitter contempts
she dives into the mixing and measuring
with skill and ****** devotions
you leave them to the whisper game
peek peek shuffle shuffle

leave her with a gentle kiss placed with care
on her bitter lips
and as you say your long goodbye
you reach up and button her shirt
hiding her exposed breast
she laughs brushing off attempts to cure her
of deviant behaviours
she is a watercolour study of rain
its mood and substance are flowing vagueness
the statement of grey in all forms of her existence

I came lookin'
lookin' far an' wide
for some cumbersome thing
that I could weigh myself down with
keep me from drifting away
something heavy
something true
a big thing
a tiny thing
just need a few moments of clarity
just for a moment where troubles cease
just one moment of knowing
just one moment resting assured
all is safe and sane in my world
all is good between you and I
that it has all not been
a silent recording
whispers never shouted
a photograph of the lens cap
Been looking high and low
for an encumbrance that could keep me here
to be able to hear you sing that song
without missing you
without wanting  
without fear

waited all these years
for that special smile
feel like i cant wait
but ill just bide my time
cause i know your smile waiting for me
waited all these years
don't be long
want to see that smile like sunrise
rising up for me
you roll up that joint
and we will sit and talk while you smoke
in the late day sun
feels so fine
lets see that smile
rising up for me

fragments of that lifetime ago
the sun low to the end day horizon
and my childhood companions shouting
and laughter
the intense feel scent of fresh cut grass
the long shadows garden gate
spiders web and the shell of
brick doorway
the long path with its tangled trees
what man tread there
what past tread through this dark wood
mesmerized by the burnt ruin
captured by the tale
i would stand in that doorway
and ask for her hand
i would ride in the brisk sun
a child no more
free of the things that bound me to that place
were it that i could go back
undo all wrought
but standing here in the sea and sand
i pray that i finally have come home

i unfolded the bright sunlight
unbound it from the winter sky
held it in my rough hands
and let it stream down upon me
wash away the night chill from my bones
let my soul drink its beautiful warmth
like a sweet wine...
my feet in puddles i walk an echo of images
the sky perfectly preserved in a watery vision
i look and see in the liquid world expressed at my feet
winterbirds flying slowly in formation southbound
moving from one puddle to the next unbroken and free
perfect reflections of beauty unleashed
each breath held for a moment
then released like a softly spoken prayer
a wish that like the winterbirds i could take to wing
be forever free on the open sky
be forever at peace...
i unfolded the bright sunlight
unbound it from the winter sky
and handed it to her
she smiled and said she would always cherish it
put it in a golden locket
that she would open in the furthest deep of night
giving birth to the beauty of dawn once again
to give my weary old heart life again
winterbirds float
unbroken and free
on the liquid sky
where i want to be

I love her,
iv not always known her,
but I do know that I have always loved her,
she was the dream I always had,
she is that golden moonlight that
reflected within joyous tears

a thousand regretful wasted words
and i'm no closer to painting my masterpiece
of the soulful songbird gently sweeping aside
the weary cares of the hearts soul
no closer to giving tangible truths to
the heartfelt dream
no closer to giving life to the dreamers struggle
as she sings the song of redemption
i paint in a rush
the flurry of words that let fly
like the ****** white snow late september night
which gives the unexpected beauty
to the lush green that still clings to the landscape
now the words echo inner truths
illustrating what i want your heart to see
bound up in the promise of newborn late fall daybreak
bound up in the beauty only the dreamers can see
but still i linger here in the false start of a masterpiece
still with only the bare bones of what i wish i could say to you
i will stay here with my craft's labors
until i can give to you
such a sweet song
that would touch your soul
that would free the joy within you
that would show you how much you are loved

there are lies we tell ourselfs
to protect ourselfs from what we dont want to face
from things that never see the light of day

there are truths we tell ourselfs
over and over till they loose their power
to persuade a change of course

iv been down many roads
that tho i never would have said out loud
i was terrified every inch of the way
there have been paths that i followed
knowing that i was blinded to the blades arrayed against me
but i never hesitated a single footstep

standing here on the edge with you
looking so fine in your skintight jeans
one breast showing thru the threadbare fabric
and your eyes on fire with all the things your feelin
your words sharp and quick like knives
with all the things your knowing

there are lies we tell ourselfs
to cast aside caution
to throw away reason
and right now im trying to find
those lies to tell  myself
to blind me to all the reasons i  shouldn't follow you
shouldn't leap with you
into the fire below
into the certain death i see
into the darkness you curse

beauty in a box
look at her blush
we dream little foolish dreams of her
she just smiles and asks for coins
her hair dyed blue and silver
her eyes dyed green

her pouting lips curl
at the trash mouth who talks in such little letters
you rebound with compliments and roses
little gestures she gets all the day long
little men in camera frame
dark ones and bright eyed sultry ones
tumble out onto her soft bed
like clowns falling from their miniature car
see them laugh see them cry
all little men come calling roses in hand

beauty in a box
watch her rattle round
comes close to the camera
kisses blown soft velvet and neat
her laugh tenderly in my ear
i linger in her eyes and see sunlight there

just one load
just drift on that soft sunlight beam that makes
this harsh place seem warm
just one load
so i can be ok
with everything iv done everything i am
wont take away from anything
wont get lost this time
i promise
i promise
LIAR
but i am alone
shes gone
and its just me
not even a friend

this is no ordinary night
she was here
her perfume still lingers in the shadows
the snow cannot cool the heat she left on my lips
cannot cool the fire she started in my heart
she gave me all her soul contained
gave me her candle light jazz bar nights
gave me satin warm love benith the stars

alone with every tender inch
alone with her knowing
with her
inside with everything she has to give

nights have never been so long
the world has never been more mine
than in her arms
the soft scent of roses and that white dress
she gave me her candle light jazz bar nights
her endless nights on the sheets
as her man...her only ever man

this is no ordinary love
this is passion
now a fever burns in my mind
now a maddness burns in my heart
now she is in me
consumes me with a fire cool and deep
a love that can never be undone
a bond that can never be forgotten

Fence me in with what you see
not who i am or am about to be
you will see that word
and think thats all he is
but your wrong
im so more

Iv stood at the edge of the world and peered over the edge
iv sat on a sailboat in a dead calm sea at midnight and saw the stars surround me

iv walked in the darkest streets of the darkest cities and felt no fear
because i was the only one there

iv looked at thousands of you and not found a single one looking back at me
you will see that one word and think it defines me
you will never know just how wrong you are

she wondered at when her heart had become winterbound
when the lovely garden had been
overgrown by sorrow and anger
wondered at how long she could pine for a love lost before
it consumed her very soul
she strayed each day through sketches she had drawn
captured happiness expressions of soul
whimsical moments of those bright days
she had always held love as a hope
a perfect place when she could live forever
but love takes many hearts to many different places
love wares different masks for its pleasure and play
it is an intoxicating brew
which drives men mad
it is a beautiful thing that women cherish
that gives life meaning
that is the very essence of our souls
she wondered at when her heart had become winterbound
when the lovely garden had become a tangled web of tears
but as spring grows upon the days
so her heart grows bold
and she learns how to leave that darkness behind
she will still steal glances backwards
but she will learn to love again
she will learn to leave behind the memory
and walk once again in the summer sun

every night we dance under
the silver moonlight
every night we spin the tale
of friends lovers and delight
every night we learn the smiles shared
our joys take flight
every morning comes
our dreams bourne of night
slipway into the torn stars as they fade
till night again

the river of light moves out
from beyond a cloud
and fills my mind with a deafening silence
that tasted more of a tomb
than spring day
that disturbing silence scattered
thoughts in its wake as it moved
through my moment
thoughts and crystal clean visions of memory
is its old ages hand at work
his lethargic inked soul moving in strife
against my castles of sand
or is it witless buffoons labouring for illness
that undercut the foundations of my day
the river of light shifts its stance
staring down upon my small plot of soils
and my garden flourishing in its
rows of careworn leaf
i sit neath the palm tree and watch its
slow shade dance with the hard angles of my house
the river of light will dry up soon for the day
so with one good eye to the tilled earth
i ply the tool to furrow
and seek to wrestle another hour from the earth

beauties measured in the
moments felt as years spent gazing with
desires awe at your delicate smile,
your bright eyes and overwhelming intense beauty...
would it be for a moment that i could know you as
my heart has in this brief breath of time.

so barren
and bitter the taste of your words
are invading my ramparts
and have become a pestilence on my mind
it whips round and round inside my skull
it grows with each passing hour

you lack the faith in yourself
patience to find your way out
of a trap of your own devising
its a thing
yes difficult to leave behind but its a thing
things can be lost or replaced
people cannot

i will wait for you
because i love you
but i cannot abide that you are
what you have branded yourself
you are brilliant
you are a light in all this darkness
i would not be alive if you hadnt saved me
you are a wonderful and beautiful woman
that has so much to offer

there are symphony's in the silence
there are forests of thoughts
to be had in the space between
when you left and
the waiting for you to come home
come home baby
we are gonna be fine
we just gotta stick together

i was so perfect thouse years ago
my heartbeat loud as thunder
my thoughts bright as angels wings
time drifting up on me
now i cup a tear fragile in my old hand
now i bear the bitter news dry as old bones
but that sunshine is filled with beauty
that breath of breeze bears whispers of romance
all i ever wanted is only in my hand