I don’t hate the nazis
nor their innocent children
I insist to confess..
And...
If you were led astray
I’d love you none the less!

I wouldn't want to see
a single Ukrainian nor Russian fall..
I hold no socially planted belief about the Chinese
I’m not afraid to love us all!

Look through my eyes
and see the world with love
Separation and hate
we can surely rise above!!!

What happened dad..??
Please don't tell me
You forgot again..
But
yesterday was my birthday...
I turned 10...
Everybody was there
Except for you... Dad
Even Grandma and papa came..
They say I'm growing up
Really fast
That I'm turning into a beautiful young lady
And it's a shame you're not here to witness it..
But don't worry dad
I told them what you said..
I told them that
you wouldn't be able to come around...
But you promised that you would call..
every day.....
Especially for my big days..
I stayed by the telephone... Dad
And every time
It rang
I hoped it was you...
But
Was I hoping for too much... Dad??


Please don't be mad at me..
But what happened to our family??
Why is mama crying herself
To sleep every night??
Is it because of me??
Is it because you packed up your stuff
And left us with no money to buy things to eat..??
What really happened to us..
Dad??


I'm 15 today.. Dad
It's been a while since we've last talked...
Why do I feel like I'm being punished dad..??
Please tell me what I did wrong??
Don't leave me in suspense..
Anymore..
Was it me... Dad??
Was I a mistake...?
Am I the reason you left mom??


We heard the news today...
When were you going to tell us.. Dad??
You're getting married.. Again
to someone younger than mom
She still cries herself to sleep
Every night... Dad
Just thought you should know..


We found your football jacket
In the basement yesterday...
Mom and I were cleaning out...
She wanted to throw it away..
But don't worry
I kept it...
But you can't tell her
She doesn't know..
I just wanted something to remember you by...
Cause my memories of you are slowly fading...
I saw a picture of the wedding day..
You had white spots covering your face..
But somehow I knew it was you..
You were wearing a suit..
It had my favourite colours on it...
Ma said that
I was the one who picked it out...
For you to wear...
That was the first time
I saw mama smile..
She doesn't do that anymore..
Where did it go...??
Where did you go..??
What really happened to us... Dad??


I'm 17 now dad.
Why didn't you invite me to your wedding...?
Am I not your daughter..?
Are you not my father....?
Why do you ignore me so much...?
I write and write
But you never respond
What did I do dad..???
Am I not worth any of your time..?
Mama said you must really be busy..
She still cries every night....
I think you broke her heart... Dad
I think she still loves you..
That's why she never dated any other guy...
Come back and make us whole again... Dad...



So... We went to pick out my dress..
For prom...
It matches your wedding suit
I thought that maybe you can take me..
Then maybe you would see
That you have nothing to be afraid of.. anymore... Dad
I forgive you..
What do you say...??
Just be at the Villa at 7..
That's where I'll be waiting...
I'm so excited...
You are going to be proud of me..
Dad..

Where were You Dad..?
I waited and waited...
But you were no show...
Don't you remember...?
You said you would never leave me...
I heard everything you said to me
When I was in mama's womb...
What happened dad?
What happen to that guy..?
The guy who said
He loved me..
He'll cherish me..
You called me your little buddy..
But when I came out..
I saw the look on your face
When the doctors announced
That I was a girl
So I ask again...
Was I the reason you left??
Dad...
Was it me...??
Please just tell me...
Cause I'm starting to wonder if you ever cared...
Or loved me..
Congratulations... I heard you had a son..
It hurts dad...
Knowing that I wasn't what you wanted...

I decided to start dating.... Dad
Ma said that the first guy she ever went out with was her father...
He thought her everything she needed to know..
But I was thinking since you're not here... Then maybe you can give me a few advice on what I should expect from a guy...?
Thanks dad...



Oh... Before I forget
There is this really nice guy..
That I like
I'm actually going out with him..
Tonight
That should be fun..
We're going to watch a movie at the cinema...
where he works..
I think you would really like him too
Maybe one day...
you'll meet him...


My graduation is tomorrow
It would be nice if you came
You can bring my brother..
He's about 2 right...
I'll like to meet him
See what he's like...
Does he have hazel eyes..
And his hair
Is it black like ours?
What's his name.. Dad?


You should know that
I'm giving the speech this year..
I'm the valedictorian...
I'm top of the class as always
Dad...
Are you proud now..?
I did this for us..
For you
And Mom
Maybe then you can come..
I really need your support..
More than ever dad..
It will mean the world to me..
It starts at 9..
At the church.... the one that
you and mama got married in..

Why didn't you call or text or send me a message
Saying that you couldn't come..
What could be more important than your daughter...
Am I that easy to be toss away...
Am I not good enough to be apart of your life..
Why is it that you never show up  to anything I invite you too...?
What's wrong dad?
Is it me?
Am I the problem...?
Cause I'm starting to think mama was right...
I shouldn't get my hopes up
You don't care about any one else but yourself...
And if you ask me...
I don't think this is how a fathers should treat his only daughter..



It's me again, dad...
I'm 25 now..
Not exactly a little princess anymore..
I'm all grown up...
I do apologize for what I said before..
I was angry at you for not coming
But I'm hoping that things have changed.... And you would have too..
You are the only father...
And ever since I was small
I imagined you walking me down the aisle and handing me over
To your future son in law..
He's a great guy...dad
He treats your daughter like a queen...
Mama said he's just like you..
I have a special dance plan for us..
Just you and me... Dad.
We would be dancing to your favourite song...
You don't have to be afraid anymore...
I'm no longer mad at you
How can I?
I'm really happy dad..


So.. I guess you couldn't make it to my wedding...
I walked down the aisle by myself...
I don't know why I'm surprise....
You have done it before..
I don't know why I expected anything different from you...
Is it that hard for you to be my father...
Is it that hard to not do anything...
Or to show me that you care...
I just wanted you to be apart of my life
But in that moment
When I was waiting for you
On the dance floor
I realised that you didn't want the same...
That was the reason you never relied...
I was the only one trying to make this work...
Dad...
Maybe it's time for me to focus on my new family...
We're planning on travelling the world..

Good bye.. Dad

☾

Yesterday I cried to the moon
as she wiped my tears away
made my worries disappear
so I could sleep again.

☼

Today I smile at the sun
and it shines back on me,
what a wonderful world
to be alive;
to be me.