It's calling my name
Soft as a whisper
But I muster up the strength
and walk away

Its calling my name
Yelling and screaming
as if I don't go to it I will die
Screaming a blood curdling scream
Threatening me with all of its being
but I find the courage to walk away

Its calling my name in every conversation
gently caressing my face
as it says sweet things to me
Trying to convince me its a good idea
but a sigh and a count to ten
I walk away

Calling my name in every laughter
tickling my belly
reminding me of the old times
All the old laughs and jokes we used to have
But I push it away and walk away

Calling my name as it wipes away every tear
telling me all the lies it has always told
              " I'll be there for you"
               " Trust me, we can change the world"
                "This time won't be like the last"
                  "Just trust me"
But I push it away and walk away

It calls my name as my world is crashing down around me
whispering everything I need to hear in my ear
Making me smile when tears fill my eyes
I let my walls come down
I still resist it
       pushing you away
       then pulling you closer
it's touch slides down my throat with a sense of comfort

       A rush of guilt floods me
       As I welcome it back in to my life

       Just as I said it would never be apart of my life again
I can't leave it behind for the night
It shall come home with me
Come to bed with me
And never leave me

As I allow it to touch me deeper and deeper
Ignoring the effects on my judgement
Ignoring what tomorrow will be like
Because tonight
It holds me close  

With a comfort no other being has ever given me
It whispers my name in my ear
in the most beautiful tones
How can I ever say goodbye

I loved you the way I breathed.
All the time, and not knowing.