You're the best thing I've ever seen
Don't know really what its come to mean
But when I look at you,
It's as if my heart swells
I know, I know, it's an old tale
But truthfully,
I spend all of my time thinking about you
Think so hard my face turns blue
'Cause I'd rather think than breathe,
You mean that much to me
I have a lot to learn
That can't be denied
But we can do it together
Just like the waves and the tides

I want to remember your laugh
And the way you look when you walk away
I want to turn back the hands of time
In hopes that you choose to stay
I want to know how you're feeling
But I know that's not fair
I want you to hold my hand
Although I shouldn't care
I want you to see the clouds
The way I see them
But I know this can't be so
For I'm the flower, you're the stem

anxious
surgery

waiting room
tic tac toe
winning
losing

waiting

can't
help
but
notice
not one
but
two

"Top Rated Doctor"
magazine covers
hanging
right
in
front
of
my face

waiting
still
…
called
back

disinterested
nurse

*****
-yet brisk-
cavalier
surgeon

cutting
sewing
apologizing
plainly
unemp­athetic

couldn't
help
the
tears
that
followed


and
for
taking
the
*******
time

to write
about
this
****

I want to tell you so many things that I have known since before time unfolded
I want to erase the lines between your ears where your face so perfectly fits
I want to blur all boundaries until you are nothing but the idea I have of you
I want to fall so hard into you that I forget everything I once knew to be true
So I can relive the evolution of mankind with only you in mind
So I can reinvent the wheel based on your sacred geometry
And forge a universe from nothing but that which we can experience together

I want to be transparent so you can observe how you displace my organs
And strew them across my body like constellations in the night sky
I want to open my mind and pour it out onto the floor in hopes that you will join me
Until we cannot discern who thought which feeling and who felt which thought
And we will never bother to clean up our mess for all of eternity

You make me spill all about, but I strain to collect every last drop
So I can hope to fill your cup to the brim
And you can drink me until you see the bottom
I want to seep into the cracks of your dilapidated and broken heart
I want to show you that it is okay to be lonely

I have been alone since I found you

Unannounced love seems to be the best
The gold of your earrings, the puff of your vest
Little things remind me of why you’re so special
Let me count the reasons, I know there’s several
Smart, kind, intellectual too
This sets you apart from the others I knew
When I say SMART-- I mean more than just books
Your knowledge is vast, you can even read looks,
Your KIND-- without needing acknowledgement
It’s just in your nature, passing no judgement
And don’t get me started on our INTELLECTUAL talks;
Your words touch my soul, they penetrate me
Parts of myself I never truly thought I’d see
You have an abundance of qualities I’ve come to admire
But how could I confess--  love has made me a liar
BUT-- we don’t speak of the past, we’ve moved on from it’s hold
Breaking our chains, for new lives we are told
Will make the best of you and me
I’ll never put you in a cage love
You’re perfectly free

Why do you write
If you don't say what you mean?

Why do you keep growing
Even though you're green?

Why do you criticize
When you don't know what to say?

Why won't you look at me?
You look the other way…

Why do you question me
Even though you know the answer?

How do you get me to dance?
When you know I'm not a dancer

Why do you come around?
Even though its out of your way

Why do you leave so quickly?
Doesn't a part of you want to stay?

Why do you laugh at me
When I'm trying to be serious?

Why are you sometimes so quiet?
I know we're both mysterious…

Why do you have trouble
Saying what it is you mean?

Don't you know you can tell me
Absolutely anything

I
have this
friend,

she will
tell you
nothing
but
the
truth
(which
is too
truthful,
most of the time)

she is
the
type
to know
the code to
the printer,
and will
print off
75
pages
just
because
she can

she is
the
type
who can
make up a
story to
get out
of
anything,
and she
will,
too

and scarily
enough,
I feel
safe
when I'm
around her

and I
find myself
wishing
sometimes
I was
more like
her

and
when she
is not
around,
I'm wondering
who she
is
tantalizing
now

it's probably
some old
*****
who is
just as
uninterested
as she is,
but
he wears
expensive
glasses
and a
fancy necktie
and
this fills
her
void

and yet,
somewhere
in my mind
I know
my friend
will
not
get away
with living
her whole
life
this
way

someday it ends
and
then
what

It has always been you
I don't know why I try to deny
We sit together
We could do anything -
We could watch paint dry
And each moment would be as good as the last
And each moment I pray won't pass
No amount of time is long enough
When you're young and in love

We are cut from the same apple
But I don’t even like apples
And you prefer pears

Regardless of fruit,
I believe that we go well together
You’re the apple of my eye

I see myself in you
When you’re fumbling your words,
Or tripping over air
Honestly though, I don’t care
I’ve embraced the flaws of the human race

I remember how nervous you were,
And how nervous I always am
That night we dove into each others arms
We didn’t look back as we woke up in the ocean

You moved the hair from my eyes
And I saw clearly
Perhaps, blurrier than before
What I knew all along
Didn’t matter anymore

I like it when the tall grass reaches out towards the roads
I like it when we're hiding in sheets, clenching our toes
I like it when you look at me and say nothing aloud
I like it when you read my writing and tell me you're proud

I like it when we can ride to the beach and take off our hats
I like it when we sit so long just staring at the grass
I like it when the birds fly overhead and steal our attention
I like you 'cause I know it's love without having to mention

Some things along the way we'll forget that we've seen

I make coffee
As you read the paper
And jot down your thoughts from the night before

Typical of you, April
To go and make madmen of us all

Your warm touch
As you greet me from behind
The morning light seeping through
Our tattered blinds

As you eat your breakfast
You tell me there is no need to worry,
Everything will work out

I believe you
Your eyes are innocent as you talk

Slowly you rid of my disguise
As you lean in for a kiss
We go about our days
And we bask in what we now know
As happiness

My mind is always running between first and last,
Highs and lows
Trying to discover the secrets of life,
Secrets that no one else knows

My mind doesn't know when it's made up
Or when it's undone
Always searching the depths of forever,
And forever it'll run

My mind is in constant wonder
Looking for messages where no messages lie
I don't suppose it'll ever stop,
Not even when I die

But death is a funny thing, you know
We think it's here, then it goes
Coming much too fast, coming much too slow

My mind is always running between first and last
My mind knows nothing
My minds forgot about the past

My mind is made up on me and you
There's no changing it, it'll fight till its blue
My mind is a quiet and crazy place that I wish you could see
My mind is a master of fools
The biggest one being me

I don't go to church
and I don't know if I believe in the things
that go on in church,
but I do know
that when I
randomly
happen to hear
those
church bells
on Sundays
I
feel
alive

and maybe
it is in
those
moments
that I realize
what church is
supposed to
make you feel.

all these people
sitting around me
talking about what they had for lunch

and i could care less
and i don't listen
and they don't look at me for my input
because they know
i'm not engaged

and where i really long to be
is in bed
quiet
and comfy
listening to no ones
dumb
stupid
thoughts
but my own

I'm sitting in class daydreaming of you
How the freckles on your shoulders used to smile at me
How your eyes look in the morning time
And the sound of your voice when you're serious
And all of these things flood my mind
Over and over until I am lost in your sea
And suddenly
I shudder
Thinking that one day you might not remember me

Close your eyes, tilt your
head back. You won't remember
That your life's off track

I went to the bar
that Monday night
in hopes that it would be as good as Sunday night,
it had snowed
and that was my excuse for staying

(The truth is I didn't want to be alone)

Drunk Tim watched me as I ordered my drink
I had no idea
I thought he was some business man
Dressed in his suit
and tie
Drinking his cranberry & vodkas
with his coworkers he pretended to like
but he was
                       a l o n e

He came over and sat with us
made himself comfortable in the booth
this old perv...
he had a ring on his finger
and was obviously drunk
and he seemed to have this look in his eyes
like he was
running away from something
or someone;
maybe life or
sadness

Drunk Tim got behind me
like they do in the movies
to "help my form"
in hopes to sink that last pool ball
so I could be proclaimed
                                               w i n n e r
Guess what?
His perverted tactics
worked
and
I
won

And  I didn't really feel like a winner
But I laughed
and smiled anyways
and ordered another drink
as I sat down
alone
with Tim

I told him about books I was reading;
Slave narratives
and what they meant to me,
and he told me about a manuscript
he had written on racism
in America
And I thought he was full
of ****

And finally,
he told me
I had "depth"

And it was then I realized
that maybe drunk Tim
wasn't
such a dumb,
sad
drunk
after all

Or maybe,
he is all the more

The hustle and bustle is not for me
I want to live a quiet life, enjoy my own company

Forget the noises of the city
I'll sit here, make a drink, tell myself I look pretty

I don't want to take a bus, a taxi, or a train
I want to walk along on foot, even if it's in the rain

I don't want neighbors that I can see
Just a private backyard, fulfilling my own destiny

I want to hear the sounds of the great outdoors
The birds chirping, leaves falling, and begging for more

I don't like sirens or obnoxious parties
Rather play my guitar and write sad stories

I want to breathe deep, that fresh mountain air
And have no ones worries but my own to care

Some may call it selfish, this life I lead
But in this heart will live no greed

Only opportunity for learning and self growth
Live on, my child, let your feet feel the earth

The time is right
All is now
Simplicity and love
Will show you how

I want to be
The grass beneath your feet

I want to be
The cold, wet concrete

I want to be
The sand masked in heat

I want to be
The rocks that cut you deep

I want to be
The dirt that covers your cleats

I want to be
The ground you walk on
So carefully

I always want to be this close to you

I envy how often
It touches your soles
Grasping on, if only for a moment
Rushing up
Through your legs
Through your body
Through your soul

Each step makes you who you are
Each step takes you a little further from me

I was running along the highway today
Downhill, I felt
Fast
And
Swift

I saw something
In my peripheral
That looked
Smashed into the ground
It was
White,
Familiar looking,
Like
Someone's
Pet

A
Fluffy,
Friendly
Dog
Rotting in the
Ground. Its head was
missing
It had already decomposed
It was part of the Earth, and
Its
Body
Was
Next

Poor dog,
I bet someone loved it
A lot

I bet they're smiling
I bet he's smiling

look at my nothingness
and tell me everything you see
look at my emptiness
and tell me how to be full
look at the way my heart is sinking
and pull it back up
swing it
to the moon and back
so i can create stars with my fingertips
take it to foreign lands
so it can learn the language of love
and how to be
someones everything
hitchhike with it in the desert
and let it become so dry
that it almost greets death
that way
it will learn that this life
doesn't go on forever
and love
won't wait
travel to the west and show it the mountains
point out the crests and the peaks
where lovers have stood
and found themselves
in each other
maybe one day
my heart will find me

I could love someone,
but not
like
I
do
you

I bet you don't even know
the lengths I go.

i opened my mouth
to let you in
little by little
you are getting to know me
"it is me you're talking to"
you say
in hopes that i will trust you
but little do you know
no woman
can trust a man
it is in our bones

i opened my mouth
so you could plant kisses inside
watch them grow
and turn into a beautiful garden
because everything is beautiful when you're around
i'm not just saying that
i mean it
and now i'm spitting up flowers

i opened my mouth
in hopes that you could find
whatever it was within me
that left me feeling so alone
drag it out and
reconstruct the area
you know what you're doing
as if you haven't done this before
you know
how to make a woman
feel mad

I
still
have sand
in my gum
from when I
went to the beach
with you

the sand,
grinding against my teeth
feels a little like
what you
did
to me

Come on now, brother
you were raised so well,
you got everything you ever wanted
and as far as we could tell
you were going to go far
no one expects the worst
but sadly now, it's all we know
it's troublesome for all,
it feels like a curse

I know it must be harder than it seems
wanting something so badly,
nearly breaking at the seams
but it is up for you to decide whats important
this life is only all it means

You had all the friends you could've dreamed of
you were part of the cool crowd
I looked up to you
even when you and your friends were too loud
too loud quickly became too much
and pretty soon, we were out of touch
the sad part is neither of us made an effort to show we cared
and you needed me most, but I wasn't there

you went off to college
to become a better man
to make something of yourself
to be able to publicly stand
and say, "I am a college graduate,
the first in my family
look how far I've come everyone
my life is no longer in shambles"

you were always off of the rocker
you weren't fooling anyone
you came back home and it wasn't a shocker
you never could put those old habits down
your blue eyes glossy, always wearing that frown
your face broken out, covered in sweat
we tried and tried to tell you to give it a rest

we all love you,
and we want you to understand
we aren't trying to hurt you
just trying to have you land
this plane you've been on
way up high
it's been 8 years
come down, Stetson
it's time

You've spent too many minutes
with that gun in your mouth
You've been too close to death
I've seen it, I've lost count

Where is the brother I know and admire
I want you to tell the truth,
you've never been a good liar
I want to share more with you than just mundane talks
they don't mean anything, and
I wish you'd walk
away from this life and move on from the past
you're no longer the "cool guy"
you're better than that
you're smart and talented
and you're my brother,
I'll always have your back
I've seen you at your lowest,
these are things I'll never forget
but we all need to move on
rid of our regrets

Stetson, I love you,
I really do
but I want to hold on to more than these memories of you

My love is torn apart
Like the yarn that comes from your sweater
You know it’s there
But you never know when it will start to unravel
Unravel 'til there is nothing left but one long string,
What’s left is my love for you
From the tints of red and blue
I never saw anything quite as beautiful
The way the thread touches your soft skin beneath it
Like it wants nothing but to be worn,
And worn out

Your love runs deep
But it doesn’t tap into the water
That makes up 90% of my body
Flowing through,
Every heartbeat
Every pulse
Every word
That comes out, is for you
More importantly
Every word
That doesn’t come out
Is for you

I keep most things in
Like a safe that has been untouched for years
The dust on top aches to dance
And whirl about
But its duty is to hold our families most prized possessions
The type of holding that no lover knows
Birth certificates, life insurance, wills,
But does any of that matter aside to prove we are but a tiny piece in the puzzle of life

We see ants like we see people, just another thing that is in the way
We’d rather stomp on their souls than lead them to where light is
Because if someone is in our way
At the wrong time,
Better believe we will make it right
Have to be at this very important meeting, at this very important time, to get very important money, to buy very important things

What a shame
We all are
But you never shame me
Sitting at the top of the highest tree
Looking about with your telescope eyes
You cry
“We are all tiny fragments found within the oldest ship in the sea!”
Underwater broken up and scattered about
The captain tries to collect us, reconnect us
But would rather drink instead
He is our god, for all we know
His head is cloudy and his eyes are dull
He gathers our pieces to construct them as one
But is rocked by a wave and loses us forever

What were you to me
But a dream,
But dust
On the flower that I gave you
Two months after we met
That you kept on your dresser
As if it would make a difference if it was there or not

Your ocean like eyes showed me the answer when I showed up that day
I was lost in them but I heard you say
“I’m going away”

My heart sank like an anchor holding up time on a never ending clock
Ticking away until one day it stopped

We are sad
We are stubborn
We are laying, simply loving
We are looking for what can't be found
(You'll find it if you stop looking around)
We are fickle
We are dumb
We drink just to get drunk
We smoke just to get high
We drive just to watch the road fly by
beneath us,
We see
What we used to be
And all we have become
Starts to rush up
Into our calloused hands
Smaller than the grains of sand
We are
We are tiny
We are dull
We are weak, never full
Never satisfied
Never pleased
God himself couldn't bring us to our knees
'Cause we are selfish and we are scared
Living life unprepared
Never know whats to come
Nothings promised to be fun
But one thing I can tell you
About the human race
Is that love can change a man
You can tell - look at his face

You tell me I'm lovely
You tell me I'm thin
You tell me to come over
But you never say when

You tell me I'm different
You tell me I'm pretty
You tell me to get dressed up
You want to take me to the city

You tell me I'm quiet
You tell me too much
But you never did tell me
You were feeling out of touch

You told me to go
You told me to stay
You couldn't make up your mind
So I decided to leave anyway

You told me you were sorry
You told me you were dumb
You told me that you over think sometimes
And that it isn't any fun

I told you I would be here
I told you I would stay
But don't think that you're my lover
We couldn't last a day

Now you're broke and sorry
Wishing it was better
But "sometimes things happen that way"
I wrote you in a letter

I miss you everyday
I miss you all the time
If only you had known our love
Was always first in mind

I think about you
and I think about me
and I think that we both think too much
And I know that you'd agree

You told me you were happy now
You told me you were having fun
You told me to come visit soon
I could even meet your son

I was ****** and I was tired
I was sad and I was cold
This life just flew by us both
Too fast to grab hold

I am happy too you know,
I never needed you
To tell me that you needed me
I'm a shadow, I'm anew

You won't find me around here
Don't even come and look
"I'm long gone away somewhere"
I wrote you in a book

Now I only see ocean
I can't remember land
For time has passed and I am just a soul
Holding life in my hand

If you ever feel that something or someone is too far away
Remember the sun
And how it touches your skin
And provides for you every day

Can't sleep, for I'm thinking of you
And all these feelings
You've put me through
I just want to write poems
In hopes that you will too
And one day we will show each other
What we stayed up late writing
While we were apart
From each other's aching hearts
We will laugh at the silly lines
And the metaphors that don't make sense
But we couldn't help but try
Just the thought helps us get by
You held my hand as we looked up at the sky
And once again, we said goodbye

One day we will be together
Without missing one another
Without always having to leave
Without sleeping alone, having bad dreams

You'll wake up for work
Just like you always wanted
With me by your side
I'll kiss you goodbye
And forget that you're gone
Because unlike then, you'll be back before long

You'll call me on your way home and tell me about your day
While all along waiting for me to say
"I love you"…
I don't say it
Because I don't want to wear it out

There have been times in the past
When I've wanted to shout it
Or tell every person I see
That I'm in love with someone who understands me

It means a lot to hear it
And I know you know
I love you forever
You're the match to my soul

Grab the vine and try
To swing. Hold on for dear life -
For gifts it will bring.

Look up, look how tall
The tree reaches. Look here, it
Even grows peaches!

There sits a yellow
Bird on a branch. Hurry, look,
You might miss your chance!

I don't know any other languages
Besides  the  one  of
                                        my
                                                    heart

I  hope  that  is
             enough.

I can't read contemporary poetry anymore
I always see the words
"love" and "fire"
strewn together somehow
and it seems like everyone is always connecting
the two
or dissecting
what it means

And I can't read this contemporary poetry
because it reminds me of you;
fire
always will,
for you were burned without a cause
and your life forever changed
and I hope you know
you changed mine

And even though I don't have the scars to prove it,
you
burned
me
too

My feet get wet
When I walk to your place
Much too late at night

I take the long way
Just to get around
I hear natures sound
And yearn for your taste

I watch my own shadows
Cast upon the damp grass
Smile to myself as I look like a giant

Never walking too fast
I know I will see you soon
My path lit by the moon
These walks are for you

I'm not so good at naming things
I don't see the importance or meaning it brings

I'm not very good at creating titles
I think too much, my brain goes idle

It's just something I'm not good at
I realize it, and embrace my flaws
It takes time and patience
To be good at anything at all

One day, perhaps, I will come up with something great
Until then, I am going to just keep writing and wait

sometimes poems come to you
like clouds come to the sky
like death comes to life
like the moment we met
i will never forget
your hands
unusual,
but lovely
and strong
your tone of voice
loud,
yet gentle

you are so strong
you could lift mountains
turn them upside down so that we all see anew
you could pluck clouds from the sky
and hand them out
to individuals dealing with the same things as you
there are no limits
besides the ones you place upon yourself
and you placed so many
you are capable of the world
and more

I am walking on
hard stones
Looking for
open roads
But there are no neon
signs lit tonight
Nothing to prepare me for
this inevitable flight
Up, up, up
I go
On the way,
in the air to roam
No longer seeing road…
Bring me down,
Pull me back
Head strong and looking
Avoiding the circular track
Nothing to better me
but myself and my own
and this life, for now
I'll call my own

Light it up
On top the rock
Climb in there
Warm wool socks

Smoke and shiver
Feel relaxed
It's not so cold
Here on our backs

Walk the trail
Covered in snow
Slide and laugh
Our smiles grow

We lose our path
But find a new one
High in the mountains
So much fun

Mountains, glaciers, redwoods alike
Hiking, running, going by bike
Shiver, stumble, gracefully aware
Wind, sand, snow in our hair
Stories, laughter, sadness take hold
Seeing, learning, making our mold
Life, happiness, too vital to deny
Quails, sequoias, untouchable skies
Shades of blue, green, colors surround
The Earth, spinning, not making a sound
Quiet, serene, clouds moving slow
Strong, silent, peace we would know
Unexplainable, these scenes make a person anew
Breathing in and out, these universal truths

The leaves are starting to change colors,
The wind is turning cold
Fog is lurking late and early
On the autumn roads

Midnights here, in all its glee
The night has come so gracefully

The shadows of the trees tiredly dance
While the moon smiles and takes its chance

There's nothing more beautiful than the moment you see
That the world is crumbling, it's growing, it's free

You say I've changed you,
well,
you've changed me too.

Let's see…

There's one who likes to smoke
Just as much as me
Curly brown hair he wears
And quite the beard has he

Theres one who likes to ride bikes
Just like I do
He's small, he's sharp, and a handsome one
But something doesn't do

There's one who dresses like I dress
And likes to read, too
That makes for quite the man, you know
You should see his blue suade shoes

There's one who says few words
Similar to I
He looks, and smiles, and when he laughs,
God I want to cry!

There's one who says too many words
He's a mess, a know it all
But something in the way he moves-
Stop!-
Why must I think of him at all

There's one who likes to climb mountains
And look off in the distance
Some might say he lives like me
To create a beautiful existence

There's one who is scared to dive in
To a world he doesn't know
I want to hold him, tell him it's okay
Being scared is how you grow

There's too many options,
And there will only be more to come
So how am I supposed to choose
Out of six billion, just one?

Boots laced up
Time to go
Out in the woods
We walk in snow

You look at me
Don't speak a word
In the silent thicket
Our voices heard

Keep trekking
We find our way
Our little adventures
Make my day

Forget the birds
Forget about doves
Forget about the things
That make you feel
any kind of love

Love poems are great in number
Rather than contributing, though,
I'll take a nice
long
slumber

I want to write about
more worldly things
Stuff that boggles the mind,
Perplexity it brings
Something that makes
you think I'm the best
poet of my time
Day and night,
I'll keep writing these lines
But
**** it,
I'm done this time