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Lynne Feb 2015
There is a certain spark that occurs
When one finds their place
A spark that ignites a fire
And enters your spirit into a race

When one finds their purpose
All hope and beauty is not lost
Dreams become a reality
And you'll do anything at any cost

To get to that place
Where you feel you belong
You'll even end relationships
That you treasured for so long

At first, the feeling is terror,
Was this all really worth it?
But when you see the shimmering stars
You know you didn't really quit

On that horizon you see the moon
Coming up over your head
And you close your eyes to weep
Because you're soul has been fed

It has been fed the spiritual food
it needs to survive and thrive
You cry and you cry and you cry
Because, finally, you are alive.
Lynne Feb 2015
I've watched many a documentary since you've slipped from my arms
Sinking deep into the earth, becoming part of the spiritual world.

I've read many a book and focused only on school since you've
evaporated into the sunny atmosphere above my blonde head.

The most recent documentary, Cosmos, is all about what is around us
and how insignificant we are in such a vast and expansive universe.

When I watch it, I think of you of course
And I can't help but think how insignificant our problems are
in such a vast and expansive universe...
And I can't help but think how foolish it was to fight.

The Australian Aboriginal people believe in something called
"The Dreaming"
Where the earth was once covered all in water
And the "creative-spirits" came from the water...
Forming the mountains, the plains, the animals, and the people.
Then, when done, the rest of their energy

Went up into the heavens to become the constellations
Or down into the earth.

It's funny to compare, but I feel like you were a creative spirit in my life.
You came, and conquered my heart.
You came and captured my soul, bringing me joy and light and happiness.
You painted beautiful ideas and wishes and dreams and imprisoned them into my being.
And then, when all of the energy you could give was expelled...

You were gone.

Different parts of your spirit flew up into the heavens or sunk into the ground.
And now, you're constantly all around me.

I see your shadow in the things you liked and the things you disliked
I feel your unspoken and spoken words.


I can never look at an apple again without thinking,
"He really hated apples"

Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, because it's not.
Sometimes I do cry.
Sometimes I do get very angry at myself or at you...
But I never think, "I regret that relationship."

Because I simply do not.
Everything,
and I mean Everything
happens for some kind of Purpose.

Our "Dreaming" was meant to begin in those cobbled streets of Prague
and end in a desperate and angry text message.
Our "Dreaming" was meant to make an impression on our hearts.
Our "Dreaming" was meant to create a beautiful painting of two people who loved each other so much, they could not even be together.

And then our creative spirits were meant to become the constellations
and the earth we walk upon so that someday
we would truly appreciate the person we
were really meant for.

Maybe, maybe we are meant for each other.
Maybe, we just need more time.
But I know I can say with one thing certain
in my heart,
I loved you. I love you. And I always will.
Lynne Nov 2014
Your lies in your eyes as you sit and realize. What a mistake was made when you threw it all away. Don’t you feel upset when you think of that day, when you brought yourself to one knee 2 months after May. Wasn’t it sickening when you said those words that ended it all in a rushed fashion. Turning your cheek and completely leaving, empty handed. Running from what you were afraid of, and leaving me abandoned. How could you just cut me off, and never speak to me again? Like I’m a ghost in your past. A ghost in your closet, grey and black. How could you do this simple deed and leave me on the side of the road to bleed. As if I meant nothing to you in your life, you were willing to toss it away. Trash, never treasure, that’s what I hear you say. I loved you to the very end, no matter what I constantly would bend. Maxing out my credit and taking out a loan so that you would never have to be alone. Not only that but I pushed all aside, in school and family and in friends, so that I could abide. With you, I would feel you were my soulmate and now knowing you could easily sever my tether, I wonder if my worth was ever so great. I based my reality on this dream of us, being together and never having to fuss. And yet, we talked about how we never fought and when we finally did we saw what it brought; Pain and suffering to a relationship too perfect it seemed, how could we have been so stupid to think it would always gleam. In the light, we saw some true colors of each other, but I think those bad things are not enough to make us hate one another. Could you please just look once more at our photos together and see those smiles and know it was worth while. That we were not meant for a separation such as this, and this emptiness we feel is nothing like our kiss. All I can recall from our moments together is all the beautiful times and the beautiful weather. Positives outweigh negatives that’s what I’ve always said. I even told you with that other guy that’s how I felt, and now I’m telling you here. Out of our two years together, this was only the second major fire and I really cannot fathom why the building came crashing down so quickly. We have our faults and I definitely know I have mine. But I can’t help but think that there is some sort of line. Did I cross it? Yes indeed, but I couldn’t help it when I felt threatened and helpless. Misunderstanding your words and feeling attacked…when in reality you were just fighting back. A never ending circle that could have been stopped if we had both just calmed down and talked for a spot. Like cool headed adults that we really are and not impassioned children that we became. I really feel like we could have retained all of this anger and sadness. I really do. I really feel we could repair it if we just started with a bit of glue. Glue of compassion and glue of understanding. Glue of love and comprehending. Darling, you made my world worth while. You made it all ok. And that was the happiest moment those two months after May. To see it all shatter, right before my eyes. I can’t even believe it, I feel as if my soul has died. So please, I urge you to look once more. Make a list if you must, but look again into the dust. See our relationship as a whole painting and no just the smattering of ink upon a dim page. Look at the positives. Look at the beauty. For I see it and I know that we are more than our mistakes. More than our flaws. I know that I am more than what you saw. Forgiveness is a key part of any relationship, friend or lover. So please, do you have it in your heart to take the blemish and cover? It would be the best day of my life in these past weeks, if I could just call you up and not have to weep. What joy I would be brought to have that person back, who I met between the romantic buildings of Europe. What joy I would be brought to have the person back, who kept me upright in the snow. What joy I would be brought to have that person back, who kissed my tear stained cheeks and held me so close.
Look back, darling. Look back into the past. Look at the picture as a whole. Don’t you wish the same things? Don’t you want to restart? Refresh? Renew?
I know that I do.
Lynne Oct 2014
The sun broke through the window of that dusty room
Yellow walls and orange bed sheets
Sleep, clouding my eyes as I opened them
to see your body lying next to mine.
What joy it brought to me
to see those freckles dotting your back
I wanted to connect the dots
Draw the constellations
Kiss them in every spot
in That Moment.

The lights turned on and the cabin opened,
the fresh smell of airport washed over me
fluorescent lights guiding my path
to see You.
What joy it brought to me
to feel those butterflies
I wanted to jump into your arms
kiss your face
telling you how much I loved you
in That Moment.

The sun shone in to that darkened room
Bunk beds and snoring siblings
Sleep, clouding my eyes as I yawned awake
to see you next to me, smiling.
What joy it brought to me
to see that smirk on your face
I wanted to fall in the snow all the time
just to have you pick me up
Kissing my cold face
in That Moment.

The clouds gently covered the sun
Sea water, spraying our faces
Bliss and ecstasy filling our souls
to see your hand upon mine.
What joy it brought to me
to see those seals on the shore
I wanted to stay there forever
kissing you on the island
looking at the commitment ahead
in That Moment.
The skies then greyed…so slowly
Darkness covering our hearts
Anger and Remorse filling us
to see your tears and mine.
What sorrow it gave to me
to see us fall apart before my eyes
I wanted to repair it
to be able to kiss you again
without a black cloud hanging
to be able to understand it
in This Moment.

Now, it is quite dark
And I wonder if I will ever

have

That
Moment

If I will ever

have

You
Lynne Oct 2014
Creating oneself
is the most difficult thing
because sometimes
you must consider another creation
other times
you must consider a created bond.
but what happens when it's
necessary
to create oneself?
What happens when the right person
is there
at the wrong time?
And you still must finish creating
your painting
of golds and blues upon
your flesh?
Continue to paint,
young child
of God.
Continue to paint
upon your heart.
Give yourself to those
colors.
Give yourself to your
calling.
And hang onto the
hand of your beloved.
Kissing it
as your run through fields
of golden dreams
with skies of
indigo, brushed with rose
Light a fire.
Gather round.
Create. Be.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever" – Gandhi
Lynne Oct 2014
If I had one wish,
it would be for the sun to never set.
For darkness to never fall on the pale skin of my uncovered body.
For all of life to rely on pure light and never dark.
For my skin to turn bright; rose and tangerine.
Instead of pale, sinking eyes with a translucent scarf of plum
covering my arms and wrapping me in it's embrace.
What would it be like
if roses bloomed purely for the enjoyment of my eye?
instead because it was just "what they did"
What would it be like
if I would bloom purely for the enjoyment of my eye?
instead of blooming for the hand of another.

If I had one wish,
it would be for the grass to turn into a sea
that I could jump into.
evergreen, lemon, and icey...soft waving blades
not cutting, just caressing
as I make my final bows at the edge of my stage.
For darkness to never fall upon my sea of escape
would be bliss.
and my skin would still be ivory with blotches of color.
instead of clothed in royal robes
that are transparent and failing.

If I had one wish,
it would be that my mind could be open to those around me
an open box
to pull out various thoughts, and spoken words
but always keeping the unpleasant ones for myself
locked away in a filing drawer.
locked away from the eyes of my beloved.
The key would be glittering gold and would be kept under my tongue
Until I spit it out onto the grass, blood.
As the night comes again.
Hoping no one will find it.
Lynne Sep 2014
Kiss me goodbye
Just do it already.
Let me slip through your fingers.
Let me die alone in my bed.
Let me feel nothing again.

Please let me go, if that is truly what you wish.
If you mean it, do it.

Just kiss me goodbye.
Do it already.
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