Indeed, I can't believe it
It's been almost two years
Since we broke each other's hearts.
Ah, indeed, two years ago you got down on one knee
can you believe it?
You and I?
Were to be married?
I scoff at the fact now;
promising to never trust anyone as much
like I did you.
Looking back though,
all I see was the good in us
the good in you.
It makes me smile now,
instead of weep uncontrollably.
Finally, after almost two years
I feel at peace with your disappearance.
I remember last year,
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
But now, I look at the phone and roll my eyes
whenever I have the brief thought.
Usually after way too much to drink. Usually whiskey.
I still am in shock. Two years? Impossible.
That means, almost four years ago we met. Weird, isn't it?
I wonder if you think of me with disdain,
or disgust, or sadness, or happiness.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I ever wish to know
how you feel of me.
The reason I write this,
well, I had a dream of you.
As usual, I write my poetry due to dreams
In my dream, I ran after you trying to talk to you
and you ran away from me, not unusual really.
You finally let me talk to you,
you invited me into your home
showed me pictures of your girlfriend (do you have one? I don't know)
showed me your success and I just smiled
I was so happy for you.
a feeling I haven't ever felt for you since we separated.
Happiness for your happiness.
Hmph, what a concept.
and when I awoke,
I realized I had finally accepted your absence.
Finally. I was free from your *******.
Free from my desire to ever be with you again.
Finally. Free. Free to be free!
I went outside of my tent (I was camping at the time of my dream)
did yoga in a field full of wildflowers
kissed the air
worshipped the warmth of the sun
and let you go.
Finally. Free. Finally.
Almost two years later.