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Lynne Sep 2017
the clock ticks on
and the night lays
like a black sheet
over my head.
stars barely there
in the midst of dust
and light from the
massive skyscrapers
and flashing signals
of restaurants, bars,
smokey rooms, and
singing clubs with
***** stairs leading
the way to their
openings.

25 in Seoul.

25 years i have been
here on this earth
and this moment i'm
in feels as if it is truly
one i haven't lived
into yet
i'm struggling to breathe
clean air into my lungs
mentally i'm feeling
the most blocked
and unsure of myself
as i ever have before
and yet,
somehow and someway
i'm completely ok with this.
this quarter-life mark
this brand of a new generation
of self and self-renewal
is being burned into me
my mortality once again
staring me in the face
of course, i could die
tomorrow but i always
hope that's not the case...
and yet, here it is. 25.
right here, staring at me.
what do i do with you?
what do i do with this
life i've been given?
yet another year has passed
and i'm so different
and will continue to
become different
so what's the point then?
questions remain
unanswered as i lay
in solitude in my empty
bed in my empty room
with my empty mind
and empty hands.
what will 25 bring
and what will i bring
to 25?
hopefully a little less
emptiness
and hopefully
a whole lot of restoration
to the heart that i've
beaten black and blue
on the course
of self-destruction.

25 in Seoul.
Who would have ever known?
I open myself to change.
7/7
Lynne Jul 2017
7/7
give me a moment
to shake myself
for this reality
feels like a dream
i feel drunk as i adore
your body, slowly
the spaces between
our flesh nothing
compared to the depth
of our conversation
deep into the night
waiting for the right moment
for our stories to collide
and meld into one
bewilderment
that you were there
in my arms all night.
Lynne Feb 2013
My body shakes as I wait in line
Is your plane going to be on time?

I can feel my heart, beating so fast
My hands tingling, my arms burning
I just want your touch, your eyes upon mine

And my heart comes up into my throat
As I think about my love for you
And that time that I see your face coming towards me
Feels like an eternity

But there you are, walking into my arms
From long flights and hard days spent apart
You kiss my waiting lips
And I dare not pull away from the moment of true bliss
Give into me, let me hold you up.

I have your heart.
No matter how long I must wait to keep it forever.
I have it and will take care of it.
Let me.
And I will let you take mine.

From dust we came and to dust we will return.
But my love for you,
Absolute.
Lynne Feb 2015
There is a certain spark that occurs
When one finds their place
A spark that ignites a fire
And enters your spirit into a race

When one finds their purpose
All hope and beauty is not lost
Dreams become a reality
And you'll do anything at any cost

To get to that place
Where you feel you belong
You'll even end relationships
That you treasured for so long

At first, the feeling is terror,
Was this all really worth it?
But when you see the shimmering stars
You know you didn't really quit

On that horizon you see the moon
Coming up over your head
And you close your eyes to weep
Because you're soul has been fed

It has been fed the spiritual food
it needs to survive and thrive
You cry and you cry and you cry
Because, finally, you are alive.
Lynne May 2016
Indeed, I can't believe it
It's been almost two years
Since we broke each other's hearts.

Ah, indeed, two years ago you got down on one knee
can you believe it?
You and I?
Were to be married?
I scoff at the fact now;
promising to never trust anyone as much
like I did you.

Looking back though,
all I see was the good in us
the good in you.
It makes me smile now,
instead of weep uncontrollably.

Finally, after almost two years
I feel at peace with your disappearance.

I remember last year,
calling you,
crying,
pleading.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
But now, I look at the phone and roll my eyes
whenever I have the brief thought.
Usually after way too much to drink. Usually whiskey.

I still am in shock. Two years? Impossible.
That means, almost four years ago we met. Weird, isn't it?
I wonder if you think of me with disdain,
or disgust, or sadness, or happiness.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I ever wish to know
how you feel of me.

The reason I write this,
well, I had a dream of you.
As usual, I write my poetry due to dreams
why not?

In my dream, I ran after you trying to talk to you
and you ran away from me, not unusual really.
You finally let me talk to you,
you invited me into your home
showed me pictures of your girlfriend (do you have one? I don't know)
showed me your success and I just smiled
I was so happy for you.
a feeling I haven't ever felt for you since we separated.

Happiness for your happiness.
Hmph, what a concept.

and when I awoke,
I realized I had finally accepted your absence.
Finally. I was free from your *******.
Free from my desire to ever be with you again.
Finally. Free. Free to be free!

I went outside of my tent (I was camping at the time of my dream)
did yoga in a field full of wildflowers
kissed the air
worshipped the warmth of the sun
and let you go.

Finally. Free. Finally.
Almost two years later.

Goodbye.
Lynne Nov 2018
the piano plays, darkly
warm sound pulling at
my heart
and in that heart, is a sanctuary
safe and strong
it heals those wounds of lovers past
until a new one comes along

but i speak to you
with cautious tone
and yet, i've already said too much
done too much
loved too much
but so it goes...
and so will you soon, i suppose.

every time i've held a rose
i've only felt those thorns
but the ***** of pain
that comes from love so sweet
is worth the ache that i gain

if my silence of love
and emptiness of breath i take
makes you turn to leave
then that would(n't) be my worst mistake

and it so it goes,
but you're the only one who truly knows.
truly knows the love i give
truly know the life i live

and this is why, i close my eyes
it's better because of what i've seen
and so it goes, and so it goes.

"so i would choose to be with you
that's if the choice were mine to make
but you can make decisions too
and you can have this heart to break"
inspired by billy joel's "and so it goes"
Lynne Dec 2018
there was a time
when all i needed
was to see your face
and that put me to rest
but now, it's like a faded
painting of some sky,
somewhere, with streaks
of light and a sunset so pure.

i remember sitting on the bank
of that small island with you
the ocean in our palms
and the promises of a future
wrapped around our fingers
how simple life seemed
for me, i thought of building
a home with you and a life
that would bring happy
christmases and merry times
with family and friends
everything seemed so right
so perfect, fitting together
like a perfect puzzle would.

but now, after a tumultuous
break and fiery words
and angry calls and lashes of the tongue
i look back and wonder,
where did it all go?

that seemingly beautiful and
simple life has simply vanished
and in its place, as far as love is concerned,
there has been nothing but heartache
and attempts to find someone
who matches me as well as you.

but the truth behind the veil
and the question i constantly seek
is: did you really match me as well as i thought?
or was it another attempt
in another part of my life
to recreate a love i never had
never saw
never experienced
never knew

the answer lies in my heart
and it is burned into the palms
of my hands as they wrap
around my next attempt
my next love
and hopefully the last
Lynne Oct 2018
aching
shaking
from that addiction
so deep
needle in the vein
mental in the brain
you feel it,
creeping, crawling
under your skin
no escape from the feeling
of stupidity
or of ignorance.
blame, blame, blame
you play the game.
your nightmares
become your reality
is it because you think too much
or because
you feel too little?
Lynne Aug 2017
courageous heart
but absent minded
empty head
free of logic
or true feeling
a blank slate
roaming the streets
burning with a desire
but not sure what it is
hiding from the places
where palms touch
because it feels too shallow
not ready, you're not ready
if you only had a brain
and not just a bleeding heart
pumping full of aching
and of a dreary reminiscence
the taste on your tongue
is metallic and nauseating
you desire to throw
it all away.
how good that would be.
art
Lynne Jun 2018
art
there is such calmness
such stability
in your gaze
oil on canvas
framed by tortoiseshell
a palette of aquamarine
flecked with emerald
glossed and captured
in the beautiful light.

glances, so quick
I want to look longer
and memorize
the art that you are
and even deeper than
those brushstrokes
that masterfully brought
you to life
there is an intense meaning,
a vision of humanity
that I have not observed
in any other being.

so I hope that I can continue
to know you and
not only admire you
but also deeply understand
what a beautiful soul
you have sculpted
marble and gold
within yourself
Lynne Sep 2017
there have been some I've broken.
promises on their empty
legs running out of doors
slamming shut behind.
when we walked in those
fields i thought i could nearly
taste eternity in your sweet
kiss and the sweat on your
brow looked like diamond
circling my finger in endless
golden patterns, swimming
further and further away
the swaying wheat caressing
my bare arms, while that sun
warmed and stroked my cheeks
and i knew you by heart
fully enraptured in everything
you were and are and now
i only hear the echoes of your
whisper on these warm summer nights
oh, how you used to hold me
close in those winter days
and yet, as autumn comes and those
leaves turn, i walk down the roads
of orange and burnt candy
and feel nothing but an empty
space in between my fingers
where someone's hand should be.
i do not cry for you anymore
but i cry for someone to hold my head
and tell me life is going to be ok.
will i ever feel as free in these fields?
or will my hands touch the skin
of another human and forever
turn away from any possible feeling,
for fear of those autumn leaves
bringing sadness and separation
yet again in their falling gold.
Lynne Jan 2013
I look back at these photos
to a time where I never wore make-up

and then you came along.
Lynne Oct 2016
You crossed my mind again
a bitter taste formed on my tongue
like the coffee that has sat too long
I wish you were absent from my memories
but you stick like the gum under my desk
and seep under my mind's door like muddy water

I forget that bitter taste sometimes
when I think of you
It's like honeyed trash, sweet at first,
and then sour and gag inducing.
Your memory makes me ill.
Sick to my stomach
to my mind.

You'd think, after this time, you
would be less present
And yet, here you are in the palm of my hand
sticking your finger in my face
and giving me hell while I still flounder
to figure out who I am.

Bless you, *******, I hate you, I love you.
All words. Spoken. To. You.

I wish I could rip that memory from my mind
but I can't because you sunk your claws so deep
that my blood runs black from your toxic waste
I wish, I want, I can't, I won't.
All things. Spoken. To. You.
Lynne Feb 2016
Two sugars, half and half
went to just half and half
to 2%
to skim
to soy.
No sugar.

Now I look into my cup, only seeing light from above
reflected in the steaming waters.
No sweetness or fog to cover up what I wanted truly
which was the opaque deafness of this reality.

Confused at my choices, I sip deeply
wondering whether the grounds I tasted
were karma for those actions against me.

Some people say, jokingly, that they like their coffee
black
like their soul.

Here, I wonder if I simply like it black because it IS like my soul.

Unkindness seems to reek from my pores
and my tongue is black from the words I forged.
People say it's human nature...
but my true nature, as I once believed, isn't so cruel.

And yet, here I am, cruel and deceitful.
Drinking my soul to the end.
To the last drop.

How then, can I overcome this blackness and just take my coffee
for what it is -- simply coffee?

Sip. Swallow. Think.

Forgiveness in oneself is only in the eye of the beholder
and I've done more than just to myself.
So there it is -- uncanny sobriety to the actual issues at hand.

The unfinished apologies and countless "sorry"s.
Black. Deaf. Swimming.
Around my head and through my mouth into my whole body.

The heat making me flush and fever.
Lynne Aug 2017
from birth, we are nothing
we grow
we change
we become something
and yes,
you're gonna be somebody
but maybe that somebody
is someone you
never thought you
would know
or that you would like
but you have no choice
but to step into the sun
and blossom into being.
Lynne Jun 2013
Quiet whispers from along the road
The misty morn cool and polite

I keep my head down low
And cross my heart, hoping

Though the whispers are faint
They have always been there

Creeping and crawling
Under my skin
Urging me forward
Yearning for me
to come to them.

My body is like the river along this path
Ebb and flow, always changing
Cool and collective
Calm and seductive

I close my eyes
And the wind picks up
Kissing my ears,
Fostering my mouth

A flower blooms
along the road

Cerulean against the gray

I feel I am that flower.
Water in me
Open space before me
Lynne Dec 2017
i hope
to always be grateful
in everything i do.

there is a feeling
of tender bite
when you don't get your
way or what you might
have expected out of life.
but i hope
even with those failures
aplenty
i will remain humble
and loyal to my call
for compassion and
light in this life of mine.

i feel
the past six months have
changed my very face
even of everything i believe
and all i stand for.
my eyes blink differently
and my face is sharper
with more lines
from smiling and worry
even my eyes have sunk
deeper into my skull
making me look almost hollow
and yet some days i am almost
golden in color
depression stuck around my neck
like a loose noose.
anxiety making my fingertips
quiver and my lips bleed
from dreaming in the night
flashes of life that i left
life that will never be
and life that can be if only
i would set the world right.

most of all though
the change comes in
honesty and open heart
with the sun riding
on my shoulder
even in the deepest night
with that light,
i cannot be extinguished
and my hope for the world
will continue to blossom
into the very flowers
bluebells
that line the roadways
to my beautiful texas home.

yearning for that open sky
i close my eyes and
there is a vastness of blue
that consumes my very being
changing into white light
and freedom from my negative
strife and uncomfortable
disposition.
for no longer am i attached to this world.
i am a vessel
and this great and terrible beauty
that i am
becomes a figure of peace
and calmness in the center
of hell itself.
Lynne Apr 2015
Fingertips graze the spine
as the mind unhinges its
large jaws of speech,
Gnawing at the prospect
of knowing you through time
and space.
What enters my heart is
no longer darkness
But only the light of the
beautiful earth. I
descend into my body
again. Even after my
trancendental experience.
I give myself to the music
as it always is rushing
through my veins. Blood
that is an inferno of
statement and philosophy.
Where do you stand in this
game with me? Checkmate?
Pawn? Bishop? King?
Slide into me oh Rook.
Destiny calls to us.
Lynne Dec 2012
Deafness is an understatement.

You slash words at me.

I can't breathe anymore.
I'm done with this constant chain.

binding me to your side.
You just want me to be something else.

I just want you to know who I am.

The truth is that I love him
and you don't understand.

Life is too short to pretend
to be someone else.

Life is too short to never love.

Too short, like this po
Lynne Sep 2018
your soul is a chosen landscape
charmed by masqueraders
and revelers
dancing under the moonlight
in a minor key
with a certain sadness upon
their glimmering cheeks
stardust kissing those hands
that caress the side of your cheek
your mask, removed
bathed in some azure glow
eyes, bright and intensely
staring, beyond just yourself
but something deeper
and more meaningful than ever before.
to know you, without your mask
is like knowing why the moon
sits in the sky as she does
or why the birds fly
or how the water on the shore
pulls forward and backwards
bringing in and out creatures
and memories of past lovers.
there is something in us
buried, warm, alive
that speaks to me when I see you
it whispers to me in another language
that I cannot yet understand
impassioned voice
intently seeking my attention
so that I may look upon you
and fear nothing any longer.
a song, you are
the universe, inside of you.
Lynne Jul 2017
this desire inside my bones
is deeply ingrained.
it fills my body with urges
of experiencing life with someone
else who is not just me.
myself. and i.
so i wish for you to come
away with me.
whoever you are.
that shadow clinging
to the fingertips that meet
with the rays of sunshine
blinding and beautiful.
you, whoever, that ghost
knee high in yellow grass
beckoning me with your sweetness
smiling in the rays
encouraging me to pursue the light
that i so wish to see shine on earth.
pushing me to speak goodness
and kiss each moment with grace
adoration and grateful heart.
come away with me
my darling.
let us see the world
in all of its splendor and tragedy.
Lynne Dec 2012
The seconds seemed like hours

as we swayed back and forth to the song

blissfully

Your eyes painted my skin with ease

And you looked at me like you had known me

forever.

Never had I smiled so simply

And had someone cherish every crease and corner

lovingly

For even though, though all the pain and loneliness

we both had to endure, it was

for us

We had to become numb to pain

And our bruises are now beautifully

displayed

Hold onto me as I hold you

with fervor and strength in

my heart

For like a seal I have placed you

You, my soul

eternally.

Comfortably numb together

Unchanging hearts, unchanging words

finally

Never to be torn

A rarity.

The finality I’ve burned for since

love was perceived.
Inspired by Pink Floyd
Lynne Oct 2014
Creating oneself
is the most difficult thing
because sometimes
you must consider another creation
other times
you must consider a created bond.
but what happens when it's
necessary
to create oneself?
What happens when the right person
is there
at the wrong time?
And you still must finish creating
your painting
of golds and blues upon
your flesh?
Continue to paint,
young child
of God.
Continue to paint
upon your heart.
Give yourself to those
colors.
Give yourself to your
calling.
And hang onto the
hand of your beloved.
Kissing it
as your run through fields
of golden dreams
with skies of
indigo, brushed with rose
Light a fire.
Gather round.
Create. Be.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever" – Gandhi
Lynne Apr 2018
forever is such a long time
and such a useless word.
overused, rather.
god i hate it.

this pit
in my stomach i get.
i feel disturbed,
disgusted
confused
depressed
undone from inside out.

i want you
i want someone else
i want myself
i want no one
never
ending
cycle.

it's like i'm trapped in some kind of headspace
where i want to be good
but i'm just useless
and inherently bad.
i'm always the problem
never the solution
always the victim
never the victor
change is so hard to come by
in myself and in others
why do i think someone else will change
if i, myself, can't change at all?
Lynne Jul 2013
With you,
Nothing else need exist.
Lynne Oct 2018
i write letters to you
in my head
of things i wished i had said
cursive font
blue ink, your favorite
penned swiftly
but also with care
how i wish you knew
what you've done
to my eternal mind
and the heart inside
Lynne Oct 2017
my life changed the day i met you.
something in me bent
my heart twisted in a way
to look behind as you walked by
enthralled. enraptured. engulfed
by the oceans of your eyes.
never had i felt in such a way
and especially about someone
who was just like me.
the day i began to love you
changed my life forever.
for you were not who i imagined
when i was a child, dreaming
of my wedding day and of
my happy, white picket fence.
no, you weren't who i imagined
when i saw the disney movies,
the dramatic ballets with
hetero-normative plots
and the couples at my school
eating face in the hallways
and talking about *** behind
the bleachers and beer soaked
prom parties.

to say i ever felt like i fit
into this life of man and woman
would be a complete and utter lie.
i've never felt comfortable
with the idea of my life
being permanently attached
to someone of the opposite gender.
my friends were always women
i never found male celebrities
attractive, and even when all
the girl were discussing who
was cuter, i felt...
displaced.
but i continued into it
because i felt like i had to.
like it was life and there was
nothing i could do to alter it.

until i met you.
then my whole life changed.

you understood me in a way
that no man i've ever been with
could or ever will
you read me like a book
carefully, intensely, picking
apart ever word from my psyche
defining and crafting
you saw through me
you saw into me
you intimately knew me
even more than i knew myself.
and i couldn't handle it.
so i left you cold and alone
because that's all i knew.
in every relationship,
i only knew cold and alone.
because no one had been able to
set me alight like you did.
no man had been able to ignite
passions and desires and feelings
like you so easily did.
so in every relationship
i ended up the way i left you.

it's been dark for sometime
since the day i met you
i've still taken three years
to fully figure it out
and even so, i'm still learning
the deep intricate parts of my
own physical and spiritual being.
but you helped me to understand
you helped me to crack open
the bottle and let the wine begin to
flow down, down into my glass
that would and will be my life
from now on. you changed me.
for the better. for the worst.
and i will have your memory
married to my heart for the rest
of my time here on this earth.
you helped me to unlock
the key to my own happiness
that i was too blind to see
and for that, i can never thank you
enough. every day is still
a struggle to know what i did
to you and to know what i lost.
but i have to admit, that seeing you
happy actually brings me
peace. for if you can find
the love of your life in a reflection
of yourself,
so can i.
Lynne Mar 2017
I am open
to hear you
and to feel you
but so closed
to those feelings
that I wanted to hold
and embrace
and touch.
I can't, for it is no
longer matter
but just memory.

And now, here,
I feel it for the first time.
Again, and again.
This time to Korea I go
and he says
I'll leave you if you go.
Not exactly
but exactly.

Just like he did with Texas
if you leave I will go.
And he did.

And now it happens again
Forever in a turbine
of ultimatum.

Delicate, you sigh.
Shaking your head
at my despair
touching the open wound
healing it with your fingertips
and I cry.

Sobbing to the tune
of your melodic gaze
minor and soft
delicately wounded.

Gone again.
Bliss.
Lynne Oct 2018
you stood over me
last night.
i felt you in my room
watching
waiting, believing me
into existence
when i woke up,
at midnight
all the lights were still on
and i was holding myself
so tightly, that i thought
it was the embrace of someone else
and this sickness washed over me
and i waited, staring at the ceiling
looking for an answer
in the popcorn constellations.
i found nothing,
so i stood up and removed the lights
blew out the candles
and laid back down...
your hand brushed my face
ice against fire
and i felt you enter my heart
like an old friend, an old flame
and i allowed you in.
closing my eyes, i saw you
pressing yourself against me
where you've wanted to be all these years
but i cannot allow you to be there
i cannot allow you to feel my pulse
so i push you away and
gravity no longer exists
and you fall into the space
around my bed
nothing to tether you
nothing to hold
just empty
vastness.
a place where you belong.
Lynne Feb 2017
From that moment you chose yourself
and from the moment I broke
I turned to honeyed wine
carbonated gold
sweet and sickly
rounded in glass or plastic
I turned to it
I turned away from myself
and my temple that I was guarding so well
and I let this part of me
addictive and intoxicating
take over
drive me into a sinking depression
filled with tightening pants
and hanging gut
and acne
and low and poor self-esteem
I would blame you
but in turn
I would need to blame
me
So here I am.
Prepared to throw aside the bottles
and the flasks
and everything to regain me
To regain my consciousness
and my care for my temple.
Lynne Mar 2014
Every other moment
I think about those times again.

Am I wrong?

Wheezing, I stand before this throne.
Curious as to my position.
Keep me alone
in my disposition.

My body curled up
I don't understand why
Who will I be one day?

With my own?
my own.
my own.

I'm frightened.
Will I act like that?


swipe.
across.
the.
face.

scared.
for.
this.
fate.

It's a choice. It is.

I hope.
Lynne Apr 2016
You are stable,
grounded and tall.
Sinking into you,
I have no fear of failing or falling.
For I have soft grass beneath my feet
and a purple and azure sky above me.
You, are my first and foremost.
You, provide it all
You donate your love unconditionally
and you fall at my feet.
You, are all I truly need
For I am you, and you are me.
Self-Love is the only love
you can get without hesitation.
Self-Love is the only love
grounded in earth's rotation.
Day or Night
Winter or Summer
Hardship or Success
You, yourself, will always be.
Lynne May 2017
He asked her
on the porch:
"Will you fall in love when you're there?"

Not a second.
Not a beat later.































"No."












Silence followed.
He smiled.
Seemingly a small change to her
was a large change to him.
He confronted her
hungry to know the answer


"Well...you know..."
Her voices trails off.
the "No" echoes in her mind.





She already fell in love
with Her
and herself
she wanted to wait
patiently
for the sun to appear over the horizon,
as the moon was still bathing the wine soaked pavement

someday.
Lynne Apr 2019
i almost became sad
but the infectious tone
of my own sweet voice
traveled from the recess
of my troubled mind

it spoke loudly, cutting through
the orchestra of sobbing violins
wake up! you are no longer ensnared
for you are powerful and awake
and are able to fully encompass
the beauty that is your own life
own expression and artistry.

you are no longer a captive
of your own fears or dark
worries and anxiety.
for you, it does not exist
your sunshine shall not be stolen
away to the frigid corners
of someone else's battered mind
for you, are light
eternally
in a world full of darkness
you are there, called
to be your truest self
and most beautiful
expression of joy
Lynne Nov 2018
nature answers with wind
making a hush sound through
the leaves of yellow and green
and i make this sound too

as i lean into you, exhale
and you sigh into me, inhale
divinity and cosmic creation
within one single detail

that detail being your existence
something so great but seemingly small
the world, so large and so many souls
but your heart and soul standing tall.

your eyes hold such degrees of pain
searing burns, deep cuts, wounds of old
and yet, they also comment on love
true, deep, bronze, and gold.

i wish you could see what i see
behind your smile, and dimples, so cute
i wish you could see what i see
inside of your heart, inside of you.

we all have our demons begging to return
we all have emptiness knocking on our door
we all have evil, we all are villains
and yet, we still stand at the shore

of another person's life, and love, and loss
and we allow our toes to sink in their sand
the water so deep before us, an ocean of emotion
we make a choice to go into the water or stay on the land.

my choice is to dive in, though the water is dark
i know not what is there, it's disarming
but knowing that you're with me in this
makes the journey not seem so alarming

the moments i spend with you,
i become more enraptured
the moments i learn with you,
i become more captured

you're the answer to the question
you're the fire in my heart
the coffee i need in the morning
you're part of the life i want to start

so will you join me in this crazy world
will you take my hand and run?
will you dance with me, make art with me
will you allow me to be your sun?

the choice is yours, it is not mine to make
but you, yes you --
can have this heart to break.
Far
Lynne Feb 2013
Far
The wrinkles by your eyes
the beauty of that smile.
The deepness of your sighs
please stay for a little while.

The shade of your eyes
under that snowy cover
Showed true love, true skies
Soft beneath the arms of you, my lover.

If I could savor this,
please allow me to feel
the kiss of subtle bliss
A kiss to seal our deal.

It was love from that moment, here
It was love from that moment...
Though you are not near.
Lynne Oct 2017
there is a lot of fear
in life and towards
the concept of death.
we fear for money
we fear for jobs
we fear for love
and family
and sustainability.
and we fear pain
breaking our bones
or breaking our hearts
this fear comes
and goes. sometimes
we hang onto it
longer than we should.

i feared for such a long time
but now, i feel void
of that fear.
let me crumple
let me break
let me feel the things
i need to feel
because the beauty
outweighs the fear
and the pain we feel
and see and give and take.

the light conquers the dark
only if you let it.
Lynne Oct 2018
feeling
is challenging
when your day
is made up
of feeling
other people's feelings
when i get home
i can't even deeply
look inward
because my mind is
surrounded by
others.
but my apathetic heart
is now even more so
faded and grey
because i have lost something
deep within me
that lit a fire under me
what is it
when did it go missing
i know the answer
but am afraid to say
for all i have are my words
and i shan't waste them.
Lynne Sep 2015
My body stirs and aches
for you to touch it once more.
Your hands are warm and they shake
and my breath quickens for

You, to be close to me,
breathing into me sweetly
Your lips tracing so free
down, down, encompassing completely

Your fingertips are soft against my skin
tracing the lines and curves
and I sink in to a place I haven't been
and my brain stops and swerves

You set my whole body on fire
with complete and utter ease
and my heart is constantly filled with desire
as I get down on my knees.

I worship that feeling of you within me
Your body is a temple and I fall
down to kiss and caress, you see
me touching every inch of you, so beautiful and tall.

Those eyes, filled with animalistic passion:
Kiss, tug, cuddle, tease, slap.
your hands in my hair in a gentle fashion
and I lean back and lay gentle in your lap

To feel your heartbeat against mine
is something I cherish dearly
So lean into me and take this sign
and listen to me say sincerely,

I think I'm falling for you.
I hope you're feeling this too.
Lynne Jun 2017
i stand in the center of myeongdong
light, bright
neons with flashing
chatter
korean faces surround me
occasional others
singular and different
i stand out
but i fear not.

i have a tea in my hand
egg bun in the other
feeling like i'm in a movie
and i am surrounded by people
who i've just met
and yet, who i know i will love.

and as the lights flicker
around and above me
i look at my hand,
empty now without the egg bun
(clearly it's been shoved in my mouth)
and i realize there is still marker
from work, dots and lines
of black and red
from teaching children

and happiness floods
my small world.
i don't know who i am
but i like it.
Lynne Jul 2019
all you have to do
is reach forward
and take my hand
with the callused side down
don't look at my palm lines
they spell things i wish not to think
just blindly reach
and take with yourself
a picture of what we could be
do not worry about what is
and what was
and what will never be
only look forward, see my shoulders
i'll gently tug you forward
so we can walk side by side
it is me and myself, learned and unlearned
what is now and what is to be
learn from mistakes, do not drag them along
do not bury them deeply in the graves
next to your apologies and dead dreams
follow me, me.
Que será, será
Lynne Dec 2016
Aching
you make me ache,

tantalizing my body
and gently caressing my mind
with the way you simply
look
into
me.

How is it
that something that I long told myself
I would never indulge in
suddenly
and I mean
suddenly
becomes something I slip into
like negligee
seeking to taunt and tease

or simply to hold your desire for one second more.
or simply to hold you
or simply to hold your heart
just simply

you look into me
not at me
but into me and around me
searching for the answer
to your burning question

Mamihlapinatapei
that's what it's called
"A wordless, yet meaningful look
between two people who both desire to initiate something,
but both are too scared to initiate themselves."

Here we are.
Speaking golden words
with no sound at all.

Falling slowly
and yet closely
plummeting
into a sea of euphoria

Aching,
you make me ache.
Lynne Dec 2016
They dazzle
and dance among
the branches
bright rubies
lively viridescent
frosted blues
and sparkling white
mixed with a golden yellow
that makes the fuzz around
my vision grow

I sit there with you
we can see our breath
dragons amidst the forest
curled to each other,
arms wrapped in one other,
close and warm, hearts beating quick
you look into me again
and I look back.

There it was, my heart
stopping once again
as you gave me that warm look
in those deep, copper eyes.
How could someone look at me
like you do?
I've never felt someone probe so deeply
into my very soul.

"I don't know and I'm afraid to say"
en español, you speak

I huff, waiting for you
but you still say you're afraid

This is the moment
THAT moment
where I look around me
at the sparkling trees
and wonder
how this could even be happening...

and the words
roll off my tongue
like honey off my spoon
and I feel our bodies
sing together, truly,
for the first time.
Lynne Feb 2014
Inside my heart is where you live.
I opened it for rent and
You came in and became a tenant.

You cooked meals and the smell
came into my nose.
And you spoke of religion and of space
And you charmed me greatly.

You look at me every time
I
      come
                  downstairs

and you smile in every part of your body.

I realized that you wished to renew your lease
and I was hesitant.
But there, with bended knee, you proclaimed.
And I couldn't say no, because I knew.

You were looking to buy.
You were looking to supply and to give.

And how could I say no...
for you are perfect.
for you are mine.

I will rent my kisses
for the rest of our lives.
Lynne Sep 2018
to not have to be someone else
that is freedom
to have the ability to love
that is freedom
to honestly open myself
that is freedom
to tell you how it is
that is freedom
to give my all, even when I'm tired
that is freedom
to be honest with myself
that is freedom

to love you
that is freedom

to feel loved by you
that is freedom

to accept the love, I think
no, to accept the love I know
I deserve
THAT is freedom.
Lynne Jun 2017
tomorrow
tonight
only in space
do we behold
the glory that is
the moon.
singular
solid
sensual
rounded in the right places
cool and collected
with a demeanor like
no other human on earth
smile twisting
small corners of her lip
as she glows over the perfect
city where no one sleeps
she is their captain
their crusader
their goddess of night
darkness dripping
like gold from her icy fingers
slipping and sliding
gently over the rocky mountains
caressing each crevice
where her beauty can shine
inside the trees, she glistens
reflected in every animals eyes
viscerally.
intentionally creating craze
between every force of nature.
her time is now.
she is a beauty to behold.
Lynne Oct 2017
every time i have been
alone
it's completely my own
****** fault.
because i'm too afraid
to let someone in.
for a lifetime
of openness seems
as frightening
as staring off the edge of
a cliff, sharp rocky waters
below my heart.
i can't handle the idea
because i never really
let anyone in
and when i get close
my bones turn cold
and i am a ghost
even though i know
my love bleeds the same
blood as i do
i seem to prefer to be
an anamoly
slipping out of the sheets
on a dark night
leaving my lover
to suffer with my shadow.
Lynne Oct 2018
inside of me
the world sits,
center of my heart
fire and water
and earth and air
all elements
wrapped up in a cloth
of gold and azure
stars in my eyes
molecules of divinity
piecing me together
as i am reborn
as the goddess of fate
of life of death of all

"you're on fire
and you don't even know it"
god is a woman
and she is me
and i am her.
Lynne May 2018
*******
forever is a long time.
how can anyone
say forever and
really mean it.
i mean
jesus
*******
*******
that's a long time.
like
eternity?
phew.
****.
no way.
run.
running.
see ya.
Lynne Sep 2018
red wine
lips purple
menthol breath
with smokey gaze
heart out,
for me to see
vulnerable
open
terrified, white like a sheet
hoping your demons
won't scare me away.
but darling, it's gonna take a lot
to make me run
because never have i had
the sun
you, shining on my life
brilliant, radiant, light
full of spinning threads
straw into gold
like that old fairy tale we know
glittering, atoms within
your very core
I love them all,
like no one before.
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