My favorite tragedies? What-ifs and what-could-have-beens.

What if?

What if I chose to take the 1:30 train instead of the 1:15? 15 minutes and we could have remained as total strangers to each other.

What if I chose the empty spot next to the old lady instead of sitting beside you? A few seats away and I wouldn't even know the color of your eyes.

What if I got off the station before yours? A stop away and our story wouldn't even have a beginning.

What if I chose to shut off the world and just put on my earphones as I walked home? Several steps of jamming to The Chainsmokers and I wouldn't even hear the sound of your voice.

What if I pretended I couldn't make it to the party you invited me to? A simple excuse and a thousand dances with you would have been nothing but daydreams.

What if I was an hour late to our first date and you just decided to leave a moment before I arrived? A minute's difference and we would have ended even before we could have started.

What if you decided to drive down that highway where three people died that night? A reckless mistake and we wouldn't even be breathing the same air.

What if you never told me you loved me and that I meant everything to you? Nine unspoken words and we would be a story of missed chances.

What if I didn't tell you I loved you too and you meant to me more than everything in this world? Fifteen unuttered words and we would have been a story of yesterdays.

What if you decided to stay instead of giving me up? We could have been still holding each other until the night breaks into dawn.

What if I decided to hold on instead of letting you go? We could have been still having those long talks about anything under the sun and beyond.

What if you decided to turn around and make it all right? Our song would have played right where it was paused.

What if we could travel back in time, would you do it all again?

Because I would. I would still take the 1:15 train.
I would still pick the seat right next to you.
I would still get off on your station even if it meant walking thirty minutes home.
I would still leave my earphones off just to see if you would talk to me.
I would still go to Tom's party even though I hated him and his friends.
I would still arrive an hour early to our first date just to make sure I didn't miss you.
I would still lead you in circles on the way to my house just to get more time with you.
I would still wait for you to say those nine words even though I saw it in your eyes every day.
I would still say those fifteen words even though I knew you already knew.

I would do it all over again, go through it all over again even if I knew we would end up like this, even if I knew that you would choose to leave and that I would choose to let you go.

Why? Because we could have been the grandest story ever told, we could have been each other's greatest love we no longer had. It was better to have known your sweetest affection and most painful surrender than to have not known any love and hurt at all.

My favorite tragedy? Us.

To taste the bittersweet nectar of thy lunar lips.
Lie me hope, sing to me the song of the helix.
Proffer me the chance to breach thy bastion,
encompass thee in my love and compassion.
Sanction me to be that one whispering love stories
in thine ear while bathing in the Aurora Borealis
dazzling and clear.
You and I, a rickety tent and a love nothing less of
heaven sent.
In mine heart thou shalt forever remain.
My panzer maid grant me...the fall of rain.

"Hardly the most,"
said the wisp to the ghost,
as they proposed a toast to the end of their days.

"Once lost, twice poisoned,"
lamented the withering roses,
with their thorns pricking those who had given up on their purpose.

Here hangs a garden of all that is worthless,
with tendrils that seek the necks of poor souls.
Drooping from branches like abandoned puppets,
without an audience to take in the show.

Death sows seeds where no plants grow,
but the dead tread there, and they want you to know
that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you learn;
everything is flammable,
and one day you'll burn.

Evening shimmers wet with Autumn rain
It's sheen reflectors, mirrors, eyes

Of cavorting shadows amongst the fey
Like city tinsil this Samhain night,

Oh how lovely colors celebrate
With ghostly kin & youthful lights...

With cirque painted skins and facade
Of candied ghoulish grins,

How sweet & innocent the haunted highs
Infects each home, "trick'r'treat" of hymns.

Laughter like All's been forgiven,
All seems right, again...

Though hidden faces -  forgotten sins,
Speak sie la vie this holiday,

With carved pumpkins, witches' cry,
Screams are as illusion as the fright,

This Samhain even tide .

It's all babes and monsters ball
This hallowed eve
This Samhain night

Tra la li, tra la lay
Then tomorrow is Hop tu naa...
The days after for all our saints...

Come the winter will be white,
As the ghosts this Samhain night.

The music plays away the demons in my head.
The demons with the stolen voices of angels.
Or maybe I'm the demon?
Twisting the voices of angels to sounds like demons.
Am I in heaven or hell?
Or am I in both?

Wrong.

They're the same thing.

Yin and yang...
The heaven in hell
And the hell in heaven
The fear of falling
And the fondness of fantasizing

I am but willing prey to the wiles of the full grown moon.
She guards the night sky...
While I patrol these grounds...
Grieving over the seconds that have gone too soon.

I am a vessel... all emptied and barren.
what once was full,
now echoes faint
the glories of yesteryears.
Afloat still, adrift upon the currents... aimless and sullen.

I am a ghost... haunting no one but my own.
Immortalised...
Anchored...
to a body of mist and haze...
Occupying this space where worthy wind had once blown...

I am a beggar offering nothing but my open palms.
Hope etched tight
into my knackered knuckles
and calloused digits.
Please... take them in yours...
soothe them...
grant me your touch, your coveted balm.