livid

livid Sep 2014

You constantly make it impossible for us to talk.
I want to wind myself around your body.
Feeling your soft skin placed ever so delicately against mine.

I want to constantly hold your hand.
Entwining our fingers ever so vividly.
Holding your hand tightly so you don't blow away into the sky.

I want to write your name across the sky with clouds.
Because for now, for recently,
you are all the clouds in my sky.

It is not the mere thought of you that entrances me.
It is the way you smile at the simplest things.
It's the way you entangle our bodies from behind.
It's the way I feel your hot breath sharp against the back of my neck when I'm tangled in your arms like the numb, depressed human being that I am.
To put it simply, it's the way you exist.

You are ever so endearing to me, and I will constantly tell you.
No matter how often you constantly tell me to leave.

lost in my sorrows.
edit: no longer relevant.

#jw

livid Sep 2014

The Best Idea I Ever Had

All I find myself wanting to do is take that metal blade to my wrist; dig it down deep, slide it quickly along... pull it away. Watch the rose colored droplets spring to the surface. Let my arm dangle at my side, watching with lazy, moist eyes as the red streams down my skin, standing out like a sun in the sky against my porcelain body.
All I'd like to do is take a lighter and flick the flame, watching the searing heat flicker above my bare stomach, licking lightly at the cold skin, warming it like a bonfire is in session. Slowly hold the lighter closer and closer, feeling the heat searing to my core and cutting through me. Agony will not win.
The best idea I've had in a while is letting myself be vulnerable. All of these feelings, all of these wants, have come rushing back to me in a blazing fire of desperation. **I want to hurt again.

triggering, i'm so very sorry.

#cutting #self #harm #i #you #thought #me #heartbroken #burning #wanted

livid Sep 2014

5:17 PM

You are not defined by the frail spine that stretches when you reach up to embrace me.
You are not defined by the plump lips that form my name in times of desperation.
You are not defined by the eyes that look at me and make me feel like the heat of a forest fire is on my chest.

You are defined by the loves you’ve lost.
You are defined by the words you’ve screamed at your mother out of pure fury.
You are defined by the quick beating of your heart when you look at another girl, my love.

Most of all, you are defined by the dark past that you are so reluctant to share with me.
Let me in.

(p.h) (j.w.)

we never worked out. no longer relevant.

#love #crush #lesbian

Sep 2014

Dorothy Parker

Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you're his,
  Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
  Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
  One of you is lying.

livid Aug 2014

I Am Not Nearly As Beautiful

I know you think I’m a foolish little girl
When the naïve words “I love you”
leave my withering lips
but baby I know my love is true
So don’t you doubt me.
And I know you think you hurt me
Only mentally
When you shattered my heart
But when I held that cold metal against my
Already stained wrists
The color of beautiful roses
Though I am not nearly as beautiful
As a rose
(I seem to have gone off topic)
When I held that cold metal
It wasn’t my hand holding it
All I could see was yours
And I could see your big eyes
Staring at me telling me
“I don’t want you.”

(p.h.) (j.r.)

the relevancy for this has long since existed.

#relationship #him #brokenhearted

livid Aug 2014

11:42 PM

The funny thing is that I can forget about you for months on end
But on a random night when my blankets are pulled up high and the blinds are pulled back
And my alarm is set for 6 AM, when I used to get your good morning texts,
that’s when you sneak back into my head
With your warm lips and your silly laugh
And your sweet pet names and your wandering hands
Back into my dreams, petting me across the cheek and through my hair,
But lately in my dreams
You’ve started to look at me with such hatred
That I have a hard time believing it’s a dream at all.

(p.h.) (j.r.)

the relevancy for this has long since existed.

#jr

— The End —